LMFAO...u r a trip! I gotta say!

shymexx:

Listen, who cares about what an ignorant kiddo has to say?? You can even write proper English yet you know Nigerian culture is messed up.. Fvck off!!

And are you not a lesbian?? Rich coming from a she-faggit..

Hell yeah, I insult people like you with cavemen mentality - and I'm shrewd... I can't stand stupid people with the IQ of a down syndrome having eunuch..

What you highlighted only happens in village settings even in Nigeria...People that leave in metropolitan or developed areas in Nigeria and where both parents work still faces the same challenge that those in America faces...

They either hire a housemaid, daycare or some type of help to look after their kids when they go to work. Their kids are not left in the "village" to grow and assimilate it's culture...Just like people in Abuja, Lagos, etc invite their parents to come stay with them, people in the US, Europe also do the same.

Some people that lives abroad visits Nigeria and their home town more often than some Nigerians living in Lagos or Abuja.

Regarding Marriage, in this day and age; it is wrong to impose on your kids who and where they should get married...marriage is between two people, allow them to make their choice. I careless about where my kids finds love and marriage, as long as they are happy....

Finally, there is noting like 'African Culture'...there are many cultures and practices within Africa and they changes from one area to the other....as long as you are not living in your village of origin, you are bound to loss some culture as time progressives...While in secondary school, we have festivals, cultural gatherings, meetings and displays in my village that we participate in every year...When I gain admission into the University in another part of the country..I stated losing touch with those cultural practices...initially I felt it...but with time I started accommodating the lost and have since moved on.

The only way for your concerns to be alleviated is for all of us to evaporate and condense in the village and live their forever after and resist urbanization while there....you know that is not going to happen.

Yo,

The truth of the matter is that we as Nigerians and Africans in general are not as proud of our culture and of our heritage. There tribes here in Nigeria today that bear Whyte, Yellowe, Greene just to mention a few, they were colonized into dropping their native names not to talk of when they would find themselves immersed in another man's culture. We are quick to dump these values for the more "palatable" western culture. It pains me when I go around the US to see generations lost to Africa forever. Again one cannot help but agree with the poster that said you cannot eat your cake and have it. Even right here in Nigeria it takes a lot of effort especially in a generation that did not grow up in villages to keep that connect with where we are coming from.

To each his own though, there are those that have sworn that Nigeria is so bad they do not want to have anything to do with the country, I like to think that this trickles down to the kids one way or the other. More so the latino's and the Asians have in some way or the other preserved and even imported some of their culture into the western lives , so we hear people saying I want to go watch bull riding or lets order Chinese etc. While the society has a major role to play in shaping our kids one cannot help but also ignore the role their parents have played in their up bringing.

The long and short of the matter is this, if you have permanently relocated from Nigeria, in three to four generations your family would have probably lost every sense of being Nigerian. Naija might be a hell hole, but as always I would always be a Nigerian first, and so would my kids.

pufectskin: LMFAO...u r a trip! I gotta say!

Are you a lesbian, yes or no? And if you're(like you said you were in the past) - what moral high ground do you have to critique African culture?? I don't need to remind you that homosexuality is foreign to Africa - so your opinion(if at all you have any meaningful one) don't count.

All you ever do is post in 'shorthand' and rant like someone on bath salt... That's why I insult you and your ilks because you mess up other people's IQ with your skewed and shallow
thought process..

I think it is mandatory to have a bit of your culture embedded inside you no matter where you find yourself but you can then decide if you want to showcase it to the world by your actions or just let it lay sublime .

shymexx:

Are you a lesbian, yes or no? And if you're(like you said you were in the past) - what moral high ground do you have to critique African culture?? I don't need to remind you that homosexuality is foreign to Africa - so your opinion(if at all you have any meaningful one) don't count.

All you ever do is post in 'shorthand' and rant like someone on bath salt... That's why I insult you and your ilks because you mess up other people's IQ skewed and shallow though process..

Homosexuality is foriegn to Africa Just when I was beginning to agree with you


You are a clown for that statement. There are homosexuals everywhere. We Africans just didnt make any effort on it until foreigeners came with religion and Western countries started accepting gay rights.

The logical deduction is that homosexuals were always in African history. They were just silent about it. Wives were a sign of importance so all agay person in those days had to do was marry some wives to look good then go and have gay sex in a dark corner.

Yo! Are u based in the northeast? I lived in Jersey for a bit...

Chrisbenogor: Yo,

The truth of the matter is that we as Nigerians and Africans in general are not as proud of our culture and of our heritage. There tribes here in Nigeria today that bear Whyte, Yellowe, Greene just to mention a few, they were colonized into dropping their native names not to talk of when they would find themselves immersed in another man's culture. We are quick to dump these values for the more "palatable" western culture. It pains me when I go around the US to see generations lost to Africa forever. Again one cannot help but agree with the poster that said you cannot eat your cake and have it. Even right here in Nigeria it takes a lot of effort especially in a generation that did not grow up in villages to keep that connect with where we are coming from.

To each his own though, there are those that have sworn that Nigeria is so bad they do not want to have anything to do with the country, I like to think that this trickles down to the kids one way or the other. More so the latino's and the Asians have in some way or the other preserved and even imported some of their culture into the western lives , so we hear people saying I want to go watch bull riding or lets order Chinese etc. While the society has a major role to play in shaping our kids one cannot help but also ignore the role their parents have played in their up bringing.

The long and short of the matter is this, if you have permanently relocated from Nigeria, in three to four generations your family would have probably lost every sense of being Nigerian. Naija might be a hell hole, but as always I would always be a Nigerian first, and so would my kids.

kayswag100: GARRI cahil has asked why his value in d transfer market has dropped...

New format!!!!

.
I dont live in the west but in this darned 9ja. How can this make tapioca my beloved meal cheaper not 2 talk of that cassava extract.

MacDaddy01:
Homosexuality is foriegn to Africa Just when I was beginning to agree with you

You are a clown for that statement. There are homosexuals everywhere. We Africans just didnt make any effort on it until foreigeners came with religion and Western countries started accepting gay rights.

The logical deduction is that homosexuals were always in African history. They were just silent about it. Wives were a sign of importance so all agay person in those days had to do was marry some wives to look good then go and have gay sex in a dark corner.

TBH, I don't want to derail this thread - and I'm tired of explaining(with historical and archaeological proofs) how homosexuality is a foreign culture...

But since it has been declared illegal in Nigeria(and it's punishable by law), that says all you need to know about the homoerotic culture... Each to their own, and I don't have a problem with homoerotic culture - but people who engage in the act have no moral ground to critique African culture..

shymexx:

TBH, I don't want to derail this thread - and I'm tired of explaining(with historical and archaeological proofs) how homosexuality is a foreign culture...

But since it has been declared illegal in Nigeria(and it's punishable by law), that says all you need to know about the homoerotic culture... Each to their own, and I don't have a problem with homoerotic culture - but people who engage in the act have no moral ground to critique African culture..

Epic fails

1) African culture is blank on homosexuality. It is foreign religions (christianity and islam brought by slave traders) that criticise it. Which local history from the 250 tribes in Nigeria have you heard in which a gay man/woman was executed by a local king?

2) Homosexuality is not immoral in the first place. The irony is that many homosexual bashers (men) would love to have sex with two women (Thr33some) but ouldnt the women be a bit bisex.ual to engage in such?

When in Rome, be a Roman. Stay a Roman and we have enough Nigerians back home tending to our culture.

odumchi: Based on my own personal observations, I've noticed a few things that continue to plague we Africans in the West and especially in America.

1. There is an African proverb that goes, "It takes a village to raise a child". In a society that places much of an emphasis on the nuclear family and little on the extended family, it is very difficult to raise a child [up to African standards] with the absence of the "village". If the father and mother are at work, then the child is either left to his/her own care or the care of a babysitter. Such a condition does not support the passage of lineal knowledge, advice, and proverbs as is customary in most African cultures.

My considered view is that children in Nigeria, as is the case elsewhere in Africa, have not entirely escaped the ravages of globalization.
For this reason, I would personally propose using caveats when we mention "African standards" in 2012.

2. In a country where most people speak only one language (like America), it would be very difficult for one to properly allow his/her children to grow well acquainted with their native tongue, unless of course great care is taken. As for us Nigerians, the shameful truth is that many of our children born and raised in the diaspora are unable to communicate with us in their native tongues.

This is indeed a shame at a time when statistics show that half of the world's population is estimated to be bilingual.
With a bit of will, I think it is actually possible to get our languages taught in mainstream schools where appreciable numbers of children with African ancestry are enrolled.
Problem is, we need to get more organised in order to bring such ideas to fruition.

3. When a child is born, he/she immediately takes a liken to his/her immediate locality. We Africans (in my opinion) must continue to remind ourselves and our children that we are mere visitors and not settlers. I've seen too many cases in which an Amercan-born African child is rarely taken home by the parents but then, when marriage comes around, is forced to search home for a spouse. If your child cannot even say the name of his community, then don't expect him/her to marry from there when the time comes.

As a Pan-Africanist, I take a more liberal view on the subject of marriage.

pufectskin: Let's stop kidding ourselves; nigerian culture is over hyped! We diasporans like to think we morally better off or our culture is sooo much better dan dat of Americans. If we have such a great culture, why isn't it reflected in our society? Why is Nigeria sooo corrupt? Why do we leave 80% of our society in abject poverty? Why are our leaders; even just regular citizens sooo corrupt? I just got back to Nigeria barely less than a year and been scammed/duped by my best childhood friend (she doesn't pick my calls or returns my BB msgs anymore cos she is ashamed; dis is a girl from a notable family for dat matter). I am sorry to say if u r a diasporan, u really need to come home to see dat we really hv no values in this society anymore. Girls use their bodies to get high marks in unis, even d married girls r on parole, ppl marry for d wrong reasons, d private schools cost as much as american schools but d standard is about 60% close to wat u get in d US, d kids only respect ppl with a lil money, actually every1 here respect only ppl with a lil change; bottomline is I don't know what Nigerian values r...
Americans have a sense of who they are and where they want to be...we know American ideals of Dignity, self respect, hard work, innovation, entrepreneurship, human rights and equal opportunity for all. What are Nigerian ideals? Do we have any? Or are we just fantasizing about family/villages raising kids? How many little kids in Nigeria have d level of advanced thinking an average 5yr old american has? How come we glorify scammers/get rich quick no matter d means men here in Nigeria? We call d scammed maga (I wasn't even greedy when I got scammed...long story for another day).
As I said b4, I have been here less than a year, and I hv concluded dat dis is not d Nigeria I used to know; frankly this is not d type of society where I would love to raise a kid. I want my kids to be exposed to science, innovation, diverse cultures; I want them to know what real love is..., I want them to learn to love ppl for who they are and learn to stand up for what is right...dats not very possible here.
D orientation here is of very low quality. No surprise we r where we r.

I have already married you - with or without your consent. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. I will divorce you if you write in text-speak again . Nice, hard-hitting points.


@ Odumchi.

It takes a village to raise a child doesn't mean the setting/environment, it means input from several different persons/sources. The West is a BIGGER village!

Billyonaire: When in Rome, be a Roman. Stay a Roman and we have enough Nigerians back home tending to our culture.

Just as Lugard and his co-travelers became Nigerians?

One of the greatest gift that we should exploit is the ability to adapt. Besides every region in the world has their challenges. Nigeria has corruption,insecurity,infrastructural challenges and the west has it's own in high taxation and cost of living. A complete individual is one who takes a piece of the good things bout the value system,culture of his people and west and make use of them. Every culture around the world has somethng to offer. Isn't that what NYSC in Nigeria is established for? No single culture is perfect,spotless. However,i believe that Nigeria has a long way to go to make the nation the pride of it's citizen. If our leaders can replicate what they see in west here in Nigeria like Gov Babatunde Raji Fashola is doing in Lagos, nigerians wil be proud of their country again and their culture wil attract other people to it

eGuerrilla:

Just as Lugard and his co-travelers became Nigerians?

When did Lord Lugard's mistake become our norm ? When in Rome, be a Roman. That, is norm.

MacDaddy01:
Epic fails

1) African culture is blank on homosexuality. It is foreign religions (christianity and islam brought by slave traders) that criticise it. Which local history from the 250 tribes in Nigeria have you heard in which a gay man/woman was executed by a local king?

2) Homosexuality is not immoral in the first place. The irony is that many homosexual bashers (men) would love to have sex with two women (Thr33some) but ouldnt the women be a bit bisex.ual to engage in such?

I don't want to derail Odumchi's thread - and we have debated the homosexuality culture in the past...

This is the thread: https://www.nairaland.com/1006372/nigeria-named-second-most-gay

And African culture is blank on homosexuality because it never existed in their society, unlike other cultures... There's also no archaeological evidence(s) to prove that homosexuality was practiced in any part of sub-saharan Africa, so why should they talk about something that's foreign to them??

This is the timeline of homosexuality: http://www.ct.gov/dcf/lib/dcf/wmv/pdf/timeline_of_lgbt_history.pdf

shymexx:

Are you sure you're still in high school, Odumchi?? You're too freaking brilliant and knowledgeable to be in high school...

You're my darg, and I admire your mentality...

Nice and thought provoking post, keep it up, fam..

Lol, I am sure.

armyofone: ezotik, i agree. that takes a village to raise a child will not work. i mean if you have money, contribute to your society/community.

why must i expect the village to help raise my child?

see as those villager raising the child also molesting the child without parents knowing.

well, odi egwu.

You didn't interpret the proverb properly. The "village" is not referring to a physical "village". It means that to properly raise a child, the collective effort of the community (extended family) is needed.

Most Africans believe that a child is not raised solely by the parents but by the community. Although it's very difficult, people are still able to properly raise children singlehandedly.

pufectskin: Let's stop kidding ourselves; nigerian culture is over hyped! We diasporans like to think we morally better off or our culture is sooo much better dan dat of Americans. If we have such a great culture, why isn't it reflected in our society? Why is Nigeria sooo corrupt? Why do we leave 80% of our society in abject poverty? Why are our leaders; even just regular citizens sooo corrupt? I just got back to Nigeria barely less than a year and been scammed/duped by my best childhood friend (she doesn't pick my calls or returns my BB msgs anymore cos she is ashamed; dis is a girl from a notable family for dat matter). I am sorry to say if u r a diasporan, u really need to come home to see dat we really hv no values in this society anymore. Girls use their bodies to get high marks in unis, even d married girls r on parole, ppl marry for d wrong reasons, d private schools cost as much as american schools but d standard is about 60% close to wat u get in d US, d kids only respect ppl with a lil money, actually every1 here respect only ppl with a lil change; bottomline is I don't know what Nigerian values r...
Americans have a sense of who they are and where they want to be...we know American ideals of Dignity, self respect, hard work, innovation, entrepreneurship, human rights and equal opportunity for all. What are Nigerian ideals? Do we have any? Or are we just fantasizing about family/villages raising kids? How many little kids in Nigeria have d level of advanced thinking an average 5yr old american has? How come we glorify scammers/get rich quick no matter d means men here in Nigeria? We call d scammed maga (I wasn't even greedy when I got scammed...long story for another day).
As I said b4, I have been here less than a year, and I hv concluded dat dis is not d Nigeria I used to know; frankly this is not d type of society where I would love to raise a kid. I want my kids to be exposed to science, innovation, diverse cultures; I want them to know what real love is..., I want them to learn to love ppl for who they are and learn to stand up for what is right...dats not very possible here.
D orientation here is of very low quality. No surprise we r where we r.

pufectskin: Let's stop kidding ourselves; nigerian culture is over hyped! We diasporans like to think we morally better off or our culture is sooo much better dan dat of Americans. If we have such a great culture, why isn't it reflected in our society? Why is Nigeria sooo corrupt? Why do we leave 80% of our society in abject poverty? Why are our leaders; even just regular citizens sooo corrupt? I just got back to Nigeria barely less than a year and been scammed/duped by my best childhood friend (she doesn't pick my calls or returns my BB msgs anymore cos she is ashamed; dis is a girl from a notable family for dat matter). I am sorry to say if u r a diasporan, u really need to come home to see dat we really hv no values in this society anymore. Girls use their bodies to get high marks in unis, even d married girls r on parole, ppl marry for d wrong reasons, d private schools cost as much as american schools but d standard is about 60% close to wat u get in d US, d kids only respect ppl with a lil money, actually every1 here respect only ppl with a lil change; bottomline is I don't know what Nigerian values r...
Americans have a sense of who they are and where they want to be...we know American ideals of Dignity, self respect, hard work, innovation, entrepreneurship, human rights and equal opportunity for all. What are Nigerian ideals? Do we have any? Or are we just fantasizing about family/villages raising kids? How many little kids in Nigeria have d level of advanced thinking an average 5yr old american has? How come we glorify scammers/get rich quick no matter d means men here in Nigeria? We call d scammed maga (I wasn't even greedy when I got scammed...long story for another day).
As I said b4, I have been here less than a year, and I hv concluded dat dis is not d Nigeria I used to know; frankly this is not d type of society where I would love to raise a kid. I want my kids to be exposed to science, innovation, diverse cultures; I want them to know what real love is..., I want them to learn to love ppl for who they are and learn to stand up for what is right...dats not very possible here.
D orientation here is of very low quality. No surprise we r where we r.

THANK YOU MY DEAREST PURFECTSKIN

MacDaddy01: Nice thread but we should be focusing on making Nigeria a better place rather than making plans to live in the West.

This is in my opinion the best reply so far even though it's not exactly an answer to the question asked.

ezotik: lol... incoherent rants of a nigerian stuck abroad who has probably not been home for over a decade. odumchi is just missing home and people who rant like this are those who don’t go home regularly. nigerians in the diaspora who touch base regularly would not rant like this.

and to counter ur main arguments, there are lots of nigerians raised in nigeria who cannot speak their language especially kids of the so-called elites. the era of it takes 'a village to raise a child' is long gone as most nigerians no longer live in villages but in cities.. and the crown it all, the ecomonic situation in nigeria does not help matters. the average nigerian can hardly take care of his immediate family not to talk of taking on another's man child, so the modern proverb is 'on your own' and nigerian families are very nuclear these days as nobody wan carry overload.

odumchi, i know u are missing ur akpu and oha soup. so what u need to do, is buy a plane ticket and go home. try touch base this year, u hear? xmas and new year is around the corner!!

Lol.

First of all I am not an adult. Secondly, my family and I go home (Nigeria) regularly.

I also believe that you too misinterpreted that proverb. The proverb isn't referring to a physical village but a community. This means that a child is raised not only by the parents but by the grandparents, uncles, aunts, and anyone else that positively influenced the child's life.

I believe that you're also mistaken. Most Nigerian families are not "very nuclear" and most Nigerians don't live in urbanized areas (I think the figure is something like 50/50). Last time that I checked, Nigerians don't live permanently in cities (unless that's where they originated from). Take Lagos for example. Over half the population of Lagos doesn't live permanently in it; they live and work in Lagos but eventually pack up and go to their respective "homes" during times of festivity.

Loss of culture. Loss of childhood friends as in real ijinle friends.
However personally I don't care. Nigeria gave me nothing and our society celebrates corruption, tribalism, poor healthcare for our people, fake religiosity etc......Given all the rubbish in Nigeria I am happy to pay the price of losing my so called culture. Just two weeks ago my uncle was shot dead in Lagos during an armed robbery and the Police have said we should pay them 500,000 K before they investigate!!!! Culture ko, culture ni!!

Precisely.

Roforofo: Loss of culture. Loss of childhood friends as in real ijinle friends.
However personally I don't care. Nigeria gave me nothing and our society celebrates corruption, tribalism, poor healthcare for our people, fake religiosity etc......Given all the rubbish in Nigeria I am happy to pay the price of losing my so called culture. Just two weeks ago my uncle was shot dead in Lagos during an armed robbery and the Police have said we should pay them 500,000 K before they investigate!!!! Culture ko, culture ni!!

Roforofo: Just two weeks ago my uncle was shot dead in Lagos during an armed robbery and the Police have said we should pay them 500,000 K before they investigate!!!! Culture ko, culture ni!!

Sorry about your loss. That is my greatest fear in that hell hole. There is another marriage in the family so I have to be there in December. I am not looking forward to the trip!

odumchi:

Lol.

First of all I am not an adult. Secondly, my family and I go home (Nigeria) regularly. .

lol...so u are a child? good. and there is no need to lie about going home regularly.

I also believe that you too misinterpreted that proverb. The proverb isn't referring to a physical village but a community.

and aren't there more community based programs in america than in nigeria? and to crown it all, they also have a welfare system which i guess ur family survives on

This means that a child is raised not only by the parents but by the grandparents, uncles, aunts, and anyone else that positively influenced the child's life.

and they dont do that over there? because u in particular (or other nigerians) live in isolation without ur grandparents, uncles, aunts etc around u does not mean the general populace does. if i remember correctly, obama was mostly raised by his grandparents.

I believe that you're also mistaken. Most Nigerian families are not "very nuclear" and most Nigerians don't live in urbanized areas (I think the figure is something like 50/50). Last time that I checked, Nigerians don't live permanently in cities (unless that's where they originated from). Take Lagos for example. Over half the population of Lagos doesn't live permanently in it; they live and work in Lagos but eventually pack up and go to their respective "homes" during times of festivity

sorry, most nigerians live in the cities in their states and only go tend to go 'home' occasionally. the igbos for example, most of them who live in lagos only go 'home' during christmas and new year celebrations and by 2nd or 3rd of Jan, they are back to lag...while the others do not move an inch and have not been to the east in years!! so they live permanently in lagos and that is why they call themselves lagosians.

norrisman:

Sorry about your loss. That is my greatest fear in that hell hole. There is another marriage in the family so I have to be there in December. I am not looking forward to the trip!

people get robbed and killed everywhere bros(mostly in the developed countries)...you have to shine your eye wella...

norrisman:

Sorry about your loss. That is my greatest fear in that hell hole. There is another marriage in the family so I have to be there in December. I am not looking forward to the trip!

You call Nigeria hell hole, yet your relatives are marrying and residing in the hell hole. These "I wanna-gonna" toilet washers sef. They never stop to amuse us. No comfortable Nigerian lives abroad. I keep saying I love Owerri more than New York.

Come on Billyonaire! Don't b like dat just cos u don't like his opinion. Comfortable Nigerians do live abroad. A very high % of black US doctors are Nigerians and Nigerians r considered a "model group" in d united states (google Nigerians in America if u have time). As we have Nigerians in scam and toilet washing, we have a higher number in professional fields too...in fact many. After college in Florida, I got a pretty well payin job myself and only came to naija to get nysc out of d way, and I did find business opportunities which I am exploring in naija. But my plan is to go back to US. I agree dere is money in naija as there r lots of problems here (and problems = business opprotunity), but there are many ppl who would take comfort over millions (wats d point of having 300million naira in ur acct but the roads u drive ur range rover r bumpy and u have to deal with noisy generator sounds and bunch of other issues). In d US, d same quality of life would cost u less financially, and ur kids would also have a better chance at life.

Billyonaire: You call Nigeria hell hole, yet your relatives are marrying and residing in the hell hole. These "I wanna-gonna" toilet washers sef. They never stop to amuse us. No comfortable Nigerian lives abroad. I keep saying I love Owerri more than New York.