is it bitter,terrible,sad or nostagia

Nothing. I have prepared myself. . .BURY, MOURN AND MOVE ON.
You/I could be next!
Life is short and fleeting.
Enjoy. . .don't spend too much time mourning.
Life is for the living only and death is for the dead only.

@ Callotti, you are strong.

I'd say that it is somewhat nostalgic. I wake up one morning convinced that I have moved on.
I wake up a week later convinced that her death was a nightmare. I believe that she is still laughing somewhere on Earth.
I just need to find her.
Would it have helped to see her body instead of a casket?
What is certain is that there is a wound in my heart. I had hoped that we would have been the oldest of friends.
You say 'life is too short', I agree and that's what paralyses me.
If such a wonderful person dies... really I feel it is unfair.
My only consolation is that it was not a violent death...
But as for my life, I am still in hibernation, waiting for the pain to go away.
And yet, I feel so bad for feeling this way because my pain must be nothing in comparison to the pain felt by those that gave her life.
If ever it were possible to donate a couple of my years of life to her, I would do it.
Alas, for now, that is not possible. Today, a year later, I understand why some people are ready to clone their loved ones but it is not the same thing.
I thank God for blessing me with her presence and wisdom.
I will always be her friend.

Amen