My hubby sent this to me and I feel I should share.


The rate at which marriages collapse now is assuming a social symbol status in our society.

In few years time, people will be throwing divorce parties and invite friends and well-wishers to celebrate their divorce anniversaries; they will choose aso-ebi, hire a hall and popular musicians. Even a question like "So when are you getting divorced?" will become commonplace.

If u know u can't handle the weight and pressures of marriage, please remain single.

If u don't know what marriage is all about, please remain single until u do.

If u are getting married because of the things u desire or hope to gain from the other person please remain single.

If u know u can't be faithful, remain single.

If u can't endure insults from one another, pls remain single.

If u can't forgive one another's wrongs, pls remain single.
If u can't place ur spouse above every other human being, pls remain single!

Don't get married out of desperation.

If u desire a successful home, but ur choice of friends are those whose marriages have collapsed. Its simple - they'll make u drink from their poisoned chalice. Once that happens, ur marriage is in a process of dying a slow death. Be very mindful of where you go for advices.

Guys, if u know u can't put ur wife ahead ur ego, pls remain single till u mature. There's no way u can abandon the care of ur family at the expense of your lifestyle. They are your priority and everything else including u comes last. You are the teacher, the guide, the bodyguard, the spiritual leader, the role model - u are not a deity. So don't expect to be worshipped. You need respect, earn it by being responsible.

Ladies, if u know you can't be submissive please don't go into marriage so you're not turned to a punch bag!

If u know u can't stand being corrected, please remain single.

Ladies check ur domestic scorecard - if ur score is zero, please stay in ur parents' house! Ladies and gentlemen, marriage isn't,& won't be a bed of roses understand the dynamics.

op. nice one, been following your posts in the health section, how are the twins? but many divorcees never knew they would end it this way, some never bargained for what they got in marriage may God help us o.

Fair comment, but there is always that situation you don’t see. People are unpredictable in their behaviour and not always very rational. Since it involves more than one person, there is always that unknown thing that before you know it, could lead to ‘irreconcilable differences’.

Guess marriage is like a journey you start, and as with life in general, there are no guarantees you will make it to the end. Still, you mentioned some good points; overall, it’s a nice write up.

Shollym we are good by His grace. We are all bouncing as usual and pushing gradually.

@LongOne, the part that really caught my attention is where they wrote that men should understand respect is earned and as such they shouldn't demand it. Our naija men don't know they are our role models and we tend to take them for their actions and not what they preach.
Also a lot for women to learn too, being submissive to the head of the family is an order from God but then, I rest my case.

Like Shollym said, a lot of people didn't know they would end up being divorced. All we have to do is keep praying to God even before we embark on this journey called marriage. The fault could come from either party. The pressure is more on the woman to make the marriage work therefore, she should pray and keep praying. Have y'all heard about the power of a praying wife? In as much as I don't support divorce I can't advice anyone to stay on in an abusive marriage. God will grant us wisdom to keep our marriages IJN.

@ Amazon, true talk my Sister.

Marriage is a training ground wia we learn everyday.but most of us believe in a fantasy they ve already built in their mind,when it is not goin d way they envisiaged, bc dey r not realistic,they wouldn't know how to control a little fracas b4 it becomes wild fire.d right words,d right axn,at d right time can save a lot.
One day in my house,hubby did somethin dat really annoyd me and I've bn constantly tellin him not to do dat thing but dat day,I was mad.c talk.I was in d kitchen and he walked in,apologised,I was still talkin,he was abt goin out wen he turned and said somethin that made me so ashamed that I hv to apologise.and he said it quietly.'U don't nag,it dosnt fit u and u can't start nagin today' he left. Assumin he handled it d way I did,who knows?
All I'm sayin is we don't even no wen to pipe low,talk gently and quietly even if it will cost us somethin dat time.
I am ready to learn everyday so I can improve for myself and my family cos I don't even know anythin.I entered into marriage with dis mindset.thank u

@Yellowpawpaw, Ur hubby must be one in a million. Aren't u lucky? Most marriages would have been better if all men know how to apologize when they are wrong. There are men who even champion the nagging after their wives have started it and even kept quiet.
In all sha, we women should know when to stop before things get out of hand.

Blendy77: .

If u desire a successful home, but ur choice of friends are those whose marriages have collapsed. Its simple - they'll make u drink from their poisoned chalice. Once that happens, ur marriage is in a process of dying a slow death. Be very mindful of where you go for advices.

Guys, if u know u can't put ur wife ahead ur ego, pls remain single till u mature. There's no way u can abandon the care of ur family at the expense of your lifestyle. They are your priority and everything else including u comes last. You are the teacher, the guide, the bodyguard, the spiritual leader, the role model - u are not a deity. So don't expect to be worshipped. You need respect, earn it by being responsible.

Your hubby is a wonderful man for reading this and sending it to you. Am sure he took every point to heart. These two points I quoted, I have a problem with. Not everyone whose marriage collapsed is a bad person. Some people left because of abuse, and other life threatening issues. Which is no fault of theirs. If we alienate people whose marriage collapsed at no fault of theirs, we stigmatize and make it difficult for women to get out of bad marriages. Not a good thing.

Point 2, you should forward this to the lady with the kneeling down thread. Maybe she can even forward the whole message to her husband via email.

True talk with the first point u noted.