Is his hair nicely styled? Is he the perfect height? Are his dimples so cute when he smiles? Is her makeup just right? Does her body have the perfect curves? Do her feet arch perfectly in those killer high heels? This is packaging, it’s irrelevant.
American, Pakistani, Arab,
African, black, white, this is a
veneer. These qualities are
insignificant by any true, spiritual standard. When you’re feeling ill and are curled up in bed, it’s not
an African or American who holds your hand and tells you that it will be okay, who takes your temperature and cools your forehead with a towel, who makes you chicken soup with lemon… it’s a human being, a husband or wife who loves you.
We must get beyond superficial
and meaningless classifications
like race and nationality. In one
of the most powerful
condemnations of tribalism that
I have ever read, the Prophet
Muhammad (sws) said, in a
hadith narrated by At-Tirmidhi
and Abu Dawud,
“There are people who boast of their dead ancestors; but they are more contemptible in the sight of Allah than the black beetle that rolls dung with its nose. Behold, Allah has removed from you the arrogance of the time of Jahiliyyah (Ignorance)
with its boasting of ancestral
glories. Man is but a God-fearing believer or a miserable sinner. All
people are the children of Adam, and Adam was made from dust.”
And about the impulse to
nationalism and racism in
general, he said, “Leave it, it is
rotten.” (Agreed upon).

Alright, how about this: That guy wanting to court you, is his Armani suit cut just right? Are his shoes sleek and stylish? That woman who caught your eye, does her dress drape elegantly on her figure? You know what? That Armani suit can’t stand on its own. It needs a hangar to stay upright. That elegant dress can’t raise your children right. We must learn to look beyond appearances. I’m not saying that appearance is irrelevant, but how much of our attraction is based on true human beauty,
and how much is based on
distorted standards and
poisonous imagery pumped into our brains by TV, movies, and advertising? In other words, to what degree have we been brainwashed?
The world of advertising teaches us to focus on the wrong things. Consultants are paid millions to
design the perfect package for a box of cereal or an energy drink, just the right shape and bright color to catch your eye and
entice you to open your wallet. Meanwhile, the product – likely or not – is actually bad for you,
consisting of sugar, salt,
chemicals and dyes. These
advertisers are teaching us to
make choices based on
packaging and image.
What they are teaching us is
entirely ruinous and wrong.
Human beings are not consumer
products. We’re not disposable. When you marry someone you’re in it for the long haul. You’re with them when they wake up in
the morning with crust in their
eyes and hair pressed to one
side of the their head; when they get laid off from work because the company is “downsizing”, and you don’t know how the bills will get paid next month;
when they’re depressed, tired,
sick; when they make mistakes,
when they say and do the wrong
things, when they lose their
temper, when they’re afraid or
insecure…
This is as serious as it gets. This is life, and a shiny but empty package won’t get you through it, won’t help on you the path, won’t hold you up when you’re weak, or make you laugh when
you’re down. The package can’t do that. Remember that when you buy something, the package ends up in the trash. If you choose someone for the package only, you may be bitterly disappointed when the storm
comes and no one is there to
shelter you, or to hold.
These are lessons learned
through heartache and
disappointment.
Look deeper. Find a gentle and
honest heart, a strong backbone,
a striving spirit. Look to what the
person does, how they live, how
they treat people, how they
relate to the Almighty. Look to
that shimmering soul inside, and
discern whether it’s a selfish and bitter soul, or loving and true.

Look beyond the packaging to
the core, and trust your God-
given instincts, and you’ll find
yourself a rare happiness, a
precious partnership, or a true friend.
The most beautiful, powerful
things in the world don’t come
in disposable packages.
Mountains, trees, ocean, sky,
stars… their true attributes are bared to the world. They don’t need packages because they are stunning and profound in their
essence.
As someone said, beautiful
things are not always good, but
good things are always beautiful.
By basing your life choices on
matters of substance, you’ll avoid
social and financial traps that
ruin so many. You’ll build
friendships as real and solid as
mountains, with people you can
trust with your reputation, your
heart and your life. You’ll do
work that matters, and leave a
legacy that improves people's
lives in unforgettable ways.

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