It's amazing how sexism naive the people I meet are, Men and Women alike. It's infuriating how easily certain phrases and thoughts they display show how much they have been brainwashed into believing that women are inferior and thus certain things are not expected of them. It's even more infuriating when its a woman that doesn't expect any thing of herself just because she's a woman.
An example, I was speaking with a lady who had just graduated and when I asked her what next her response 'I'm a woman now,... So I need to find a husband to marry.'
Another, the other day,I was speaking to a male friend about my aspirations, my career path, and what I want for myself and the fool tells me to take it easy o, because I'm a woman now...
Also I was at the bank and this ignorant fool of an Alhaji walked in and seeing the long queue filled with women proceeded to say that he should be allowed to jump the queue because after all, two women equals one man, it took all of my self restraint not to smack him in the face.
Crown it All with the fact that when a woman is successful, has a dream job, a dream house, and a dream car, people look at her with pity instead of joy, Why? Because she hasn't yet gotten the honour of affixing a man's name to hers... Jeez!
I guess what I'm trying to say is really to Nigerian women, we need to become more self aware, we need to go un- brainwash ourselves, and learn to expect more from ourselves. We need to learn that we are neither below men, nor owned by men.
“I am too intelligent, too demanding, and too resourceful for anyone to be able to take charge of me entirely. No one knows me or loves me completely. I have only myself”
― Simone de Beauvoir

SMH, by the time u are 40yrs without a husband u will realize that this is 9ja where men have it all and women are left to play 2nd fiddle.
U've got to be submissive in Africa, learn to live with that.

jhydebaba: SMH, by the time u are 40yrs without a husband u will realize that this is 9ja where men have it all and women are left to play 2nd fiddle.

Ignorant fool. You think that I am one of your brainwashed sissies that take marriage to be the be-all an end all.I lead a very fulfilling life and I don't need a man's stamp/signature to make me feel complete. Wake up dude, it is the 21st century.

I can see u are now losing it, never mind, by the time the reality will dawn on u, u must have grown gray hairs

Poster.

I agree with most of your post and I admire your self belief. I also agree that women are not less than men. I have two daughters and I am working my ass off hoping they go to Harvard, Stanford or MIT. I hope they will fulfill their dreams and be happy just like my wife who is a successful lawyer.

Anyway, the only thing I disagree with you on is using the word brainwashed. Not everyone is brainwashed into thinking marriage is necessary. People are different and even though you may not see the big deal about marriage, some other women and rightly so really want to spend the rest of their lives with someone they genuinely love and loves them.

You also need to understand marriage is not slavery and it does not mean the end of a woman's career. Infact I know so many successful married women who are able to combine a successful career with family life. My point is that you are happy making progress with your career and some other woman may prefer to focus on marriage. Nothing wrong it either one! And some others have both'

OP so what are trying to prove to a man?

You see you are not the only woman that's doing great and with high accomplishment here or out there but its just our tradition that you need to be submissive to a man ,

now don't get me wrong , I'm not saying you should lick his behind cos you need a man no,

if you want a good and caring man( everything's not bout money ) you have to be submissive unless you want s boytoy or a gold digger . (food for thought)

Nashville: Poster.

I agree with most of your post and I admire your self belief. I also agree that women are not less than men. I have two daughters and I am working my ass off hoping they go to Harvard, Stanford or MIT. I hope they will fulfill their dreams and be happy just like my wife who is a successful lawyer.

Anyway, the only thing I disagree with you on is using the word brainwashed. Not everyone is brainwashed into thinking marriage is necessary. People are different and even though you may not see the big deal about marriage, some other women and rightly so really want to spend the rest of their lives with someone they genuinely love and loves them.

You also need to understand marriage is not slavery and it does not mean the end of a woman's career. Infact I know so many successful married women who are able to combine a successful career with family life. My point is that you are happy making progress with your career and some other woman may prefer to focus on marriage. Nothing wrong it either one! And some others have both'

Thanks. I know marriage is a good thing, I just think women especially Nigerian women need to break off their mental chain like this lady I'm about to quote.

jidegirl12: OP so what are trying to prove to a man?

You see you are not the only woman that's doing great and with high accomplishment here or out there but its just our tradition that you need to be submissive to a man ,

now don't get me wrong , I'm not saying you should lick his behind cos you need a man no,

if you want a good and caring man( everything's not bout money ) you have to be submissive unless you want s boytoy or a gold digger . (food for thought)

Your comment brings tears to my eye, I feel so sorry for you dear. P.S I don't NEED to be submissive to anybody,maybe that's how your parents brought you up/ taught you which is why I'm so sad for you. And my post wasn't about men, but about women,especially women like you.

Oh ! okay then .... then I'll have to rest my case then and let you educate me more on how to flabbergast my wonderful loving caring adorable man because I earn the same six figures like he does!

I'm all ears blu.... shoot !

Bludeville:
Your comment brings tears to my eye, I feel so sorry for you dear. P.S I don't NEED to be submissive to anybody,maybe that's how your parents brought you up/ taught you which is why I'm so sad for you. And my post wasn't about men, but about women,especially women like you.

@ bludeville> Thanks for that post. A couple of weeks ago, I also asked this question on why Nigerian ladies are so desperate for marriage.

PLS LADIES, YOU DON'T NEED A MAN TO BE WHAT YOU ARE MEANT TO BE PUT AWAY ALL THE LOW SELF ESTEEM AND BE YOURSELVES

Bludeville:
Thanks. I know marriage is a good thing, I just think women especially Nigerian women need to break off their mental chain like this lady I'm about to quote.

Your comment brings tears to my eye, I feel so sorry for you dear. P.S I don't NEED to be submissive to anybody,maybe that's how your parents brought you up/ taught you which is why I'm so sad for you. And my post wasn't about men, but about women,especially women like you.

[quote author=Bludeville]

I will tell you the truth about life and the country we live in. Most Nigerians claim to be religious so both Christianity and Islam says women should be submissive to their husbands. Even our tradition suggests the same. But the real question is what is the meaning of submission?

I will explain to you from the Christian perspective. You probably may have seen a lot of wrong examples of being submissive. Husband's beating their wives is not submission - that is tyranny. The truth is that there cannot be two Captains in a ship. Even company partnerships are usually not 50-50, there is usually a Senior partner. And that is what you need to understand, the bible says the man is the head of his household and that is the Truth. I will not preach to men what leadership of the home really means, because I know Nigerian men have taken that scripture completely out of context and only use it to justify their tyranny.

But the truth is that just like every other organisation or entity, their has to be someone that has overall accountability. Marriage is a partnership. The man may be strong in some areas, the woman stronger in some areas. When I was setting up my company, my wife who is a very brilliant lawyer helped my set up a very complex structure to minimise taxes. I had no clue what she was doing but I trusted her. So it is a partnership, she is my partner in life but I am the senior partner. If we have a major decision to make and we both present our reasons for doing it a particular way, then I will have to think over it and make the final decision. I listen to her and value he inputs, areas where I know she is very strong, sometimes I just follow her lead and that is why marriage is wonderful. You should complement each other, but there will always be a leader in any organisation.

So as a young lady, your responsibility is to marry a man that loves you and values who you are and what you can contribute to the family. But you must also trust his judgement and be able to defer to his opinion where necessary. Marriage is compromise, you cannot have your way all the time and that is the bedrock of the word submission.

...

Bludeville:
Ignorant fool. You think that I am one of your brainwashed sissies that take marriage to be the be-all an end all.I lead a very fulfilling life and I don't need a man's stamp/signature to make me feel complete. Wake up dude, it is the 21st century.

God bless you jare. I shake my head @ any man who foolishly thinks I need him for anything. What nonsense. I will submit only to my husband and ignore every other fool that thinks i shd bow to him. Nonsense

@Bluedeville
i'm assuming you spent the greater part of your life in The West. Here in Africa women are expected to show a level of submissiveness to her husband even if she's more successful than him. No one expects you to serve him his meals on your knees, but there is some level of respect you show that will make him feel like the head and he will respect you in return (i'm referring to sane marriages not majority of the ones you read here).
it also infuriates me when men tell me i have limitations because of my gender, but its the reality we have to live with. I know our next generation will enjoy more liberation than us as we did our mothers. But as a realist, i don't think gender equality can ever be totally achieved.

It is not just about women, people tend to limit others in a little box in their heads that's called sterotype.
Young Men are addressed that way told not to pursue their ambitions because they are "small boys" they should go and marry and come back. Children are told not to speak out even when they have ideas, they are children what do they know.
Tribes and ethnic groups are put into a category, Hausas don't go to school, Igbos only know money Yorubas only like to party.
What am I saying? Know who you are, be confortable and confident without being arrogant, there will always be people who pass on their insecurity by bellitling others and putting them into a box, don't let them get to you.
It is good you know who you are, a man who shares your veiws and respects you will come along, not a lot of men reason like that, not a lot of people reason like that. No vex

Mmmm,I really support wat nashville said,but in some way I also see some sense in wat
bluedeville also said 'An example, I was speaking with a lady who had just graduated and when I asked her what next her response 'I'm a woman now,... So I need to find a husband to marry''

I personally think some women out there are a little bit lazy or dey dnt ve plans for dem sefs.

Bludeville: It's amazing how sexism naive the people I meet are, Men and Women alike. It's infuriating how easily certain phrases and thoughts they display show how much they have been brainwashed into believing that women are inferior and thus certain things are not expected of them. It's even more infuriating when its a woman that doesn't expect any thing of herself just because she's a woman.
An example, I was speaking with a lady who had just graduated and when I asked her what next her response 'I'm a woman now,... So I need to find a husband to marry.'
Another, the other day,I was speaking to a male friend about my aspirations, my career path, and what I want for myself and the fool tells me to take it easy o, because I'm a woman now...
Also I was at the bank and this ignorant fool of an Alhaji walked in and seeing the long queue filled with women proceeded to say that he should be allowed to jump the queue because after all, two women equals one man, it took all of my self restraint not to smack him in the face.
Crown it All with the fact that when a woman is successful, has a dream job, a dream house, and a dream car, people look at her with pity instead of joy, Why? Because she hasn't yet gotten the honour of affixing a man's name to hers... Jeez!
I guess what I'm trying to say is really to Nigerian women, we need to become more self aware, we need to go un- brainwash ourselves, and learn to expect more from ourselves. We need to learn that we are neither below men, nor owned by men.
“I am too intelligent, too demanding, and too resourceful for anyone to be able to take charge of me entirely. No one knows me or loves me completely. I have only myself”
― Simone de Beauvoir

I love this

Bludeville:
Ignorant fool. You think that I am one of your brainwashed sissies that take marriage to be the be-all an end all.I lead a very fulfilling life and I don't need a man's stamp/signature to make me feel complete. Wake up dude, it is the 21st century.

Ride on girl. Never let any man take you for a ride. You should have slapped that Alhaji in the bank, what a cheek. Next time you are out and about any man especially the middle aged successful looking ones you see, if they make any silly comment like the Alhaji just walk up to them and give him one or two slaps. Men in Nigeria need to be put in their place.

Poster, whateva works for you.
Have a nice day.

Bludeville:
Ignorant fool. You think that I am one of your brainwashed sissies that take marriage to be the be-all an end all.I lead a very fulfilling life and I don't need a man's stamp/signature to make me feel complete. Wake up dude, it is the 21st century.

everything na 21st century what arrant nonsense.so 21st century means marriage is a no go area,go get your type of man abroad and not nigeria coz i trust a typical nigerian man would not take such nonsense from your sorry a.ss

there's no time you wont start looking for husband, dear.

better begin your search now,before you start envying your colleagues who didnt hold your views.

unless the thread is fake and perhaps you're actually a man sha.

Interesting thread

Ahhhh.
Threadstarter, are you brawling with anyone?
C'mon.

I think any sane person will agree that you are on the right path. But you need not get shirty while at it.
Just do you and the rest will sod off!

Chill out mama

The same women would come when it gets to responsibilities and say . Its a mans work, isnt a man supposed to do this? A woman is only meant to support.

You cant eat your cake and have it dear

dayokanu: The same women would come when it gets to responsibilities and say . Its a mans work, isnt a man supposed to do this? A woman is only meant to support.

You cant eat your cake and have it dear

. don't mind them jare....yeye stuff

[quote
author=dayokanu]The same women would come when it gets to
responsibilities and say . Its a mans work, isnt a man supposed to do
this? A woman is only meant to support.

You cant eat your cake and have it dear[/quote] Thanks Dear.

jidegirl12:

. don't mind them jare....yeye stuff

Thanks Dear

[quote
author=inuyasha01] everything na 21st century what arrant nonsense.so
21st century means marriage is a no go area,go get your type of man
abroad and not nigeria coz i trust a typical nigerian man would not take
such nonsense from your sorry a.ss [/quote] Damn right !

Bludeville: I guess what I'm trying to say is really to Nigerian women, we need to become more self aware, we need to go un- brainwash ourselves, and learn to expect more from ourselves. We need to learn that we are neither below men, nor owned by men.
“I am too intelligent, too demanding, and too resourceful for anyone to be able to take charge of me entirely. No one knows me or loves me completely. I have only myself”
― Simone de Beauvoir

Glad you recognized that the problem is not necessarily the men folk but caused and perpetrated on a wide-scale by women who condone it.

dayokanu: The same women would come when it gets to responsibilities and say . Its a mans work, isnt a man supposed to do this? A woman is only meant to support.

You cant eat your cake and have it dear

Next time, when you meet a woman who says that, make sure to ascertain what group, as described by the @OP, she belongs. From my experience, it is typically women who believe that because they are women, they need to be treated as sub-humans, that make such statements.
I mean you live in America, right. So you know that in many households here the women try as much as possible to carry some of the weight. Are they some of the same one's you are referring to?

tpia1: there's no time you wont start looking for husband, dear.

better begin your search now,before you start envying your colleagues who didnt hold your views.

unless the thread is fake and perhaps you're actually a man sha.

LMAO

inuyasha01: everything na 21st century what arrant nonsense.so 21st century means marriage is a no go area,go get your type of man abroad and not nigeria coz i trust a typical nigerian man would not take such nonsense from your sorry a.ss

Newsflash, the typical Nigerian man is not attractive marriage-wise. I would not wish my enemy to be entangled with the typical Nigerian man.

stillwater:

Newsflash, the typical Nigerian man is not attractive marriage-wise. I would not wish my enemy to be entangled with the typical Nigerian man.

Like Nigerian women are better than the men?