pls Wise men i need your objective advice urgently.My Story goes thus:

I MET A LADY THREE MONTHS AGO(OCT/NOV),SHE IS BEAUTIFUL,CARING,HUMBLE,RESPECTFUL.SHE ALSO APPRECIATED ME AS I AM NOT ALSO BAD.INFACT IM ADMIRABLE.WE STARTED GOING OUT,AND GOD HAS BEEN THE BACKGROUND OF OUR RELATIONSHIP.INFACT WE BOTH CONFIRMED EACH OTHER FROM OUR PASTORS(GENUINE PROPHETS),WE WERE GIVEN "GO AHEAD'.I TOOK HER AND INTRODUCED HER TO ALL MY FAMILY IN DECEMBER.THEY ALL LOVED HER AND WANTED HER.WE ARE HAPPY WT EACH OTHER,WE MADE A LOT OF PROMISES FOR EACH OTHER( TO LOVE, TO BE FAITHFUL,HONESTY,MARRYING EACH OTHER e.t.c).BUT AROUND LAST WEEK,SHE CALLED ME AND TOLD ME THAT SHE HAS BEEN HIDING SOMETHING FOR ME:SHE SAID NOT TOO LONG THAT SHE ACCEPTED ME THAT SHE STARTED GOING OUT WITH A GUY IN HER OFFICE WHO HAS ALSO BEEN DISTURBING HER FOR SO LONG.SHE CRIED AND CRIED AND BEGEED ME TO 4GIVE HER.SHE SAID THE GUY SLEPT WITH HER SEVERAL TIMES. BUT AS FOR ME I AVE NOT SLEPT WITH HER SINCE WE STARTED DATING BECAUSE OF SPIRITUAL INSTRUCTION NOT TO DO SO TILL OUR WEDDING NIGHT.I LOVE THIS LADY AND I BELIEVE SHE LOVES ME TOO BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING,HER CONSCIENCE HAS BEEN DISTURBING HER THAT IS WHY SHE OPENED UP FOR ME.I AM SO HURT AND CONFUSED.IT IS SO PAINFUL AND UNBELIEVABLE,IT IS NOT THAT SHE IS TESTING OR TEASING ME,I CONFIRMED THE CASE FROM A RELIABLE SOURCE.IT IS REAL! PLS WISE MEN ADVISE ME,WAT SHOULD I DO,SHOULD I LEAVE HER OR CONTINUE WITH HER?.AM IN A STATE OF DILEMA AND EMOTIONAL STATE,IM SAD!.

my advice is that uyou ve to thank god first for revealing the issue before the relatonship get deeper. learn how to start a relationship from friendsip and the sky ll be your limit.

ur personal decsion matters here, if u'r really in luv with her i suggest u forgive for to 'err is human & to forgive is divine'. why im saying this is that u can call off d rltionship and won't be able to get a perfect match again considering that every member of ur family accepts her. They say a bird at hand is worth more than millions in d bush, use ur discretion afterall its ur life and ours

I dont believe also that she's teasing or testing u. The madnitude of that infidel office relationship is more than you can ever stand as time goes bye. One, the 2 of them are in the same office and that means constant contact which builds their sexcapades. Two, that guy has been in her life for as long as God knows when even though as a pester. Three, you seem to be a man of integrity who must not be allowed to suffer the case of a promiscous wife after wedding. Sure enough, that habit of fornication normally graduates into adultery after wedding. DONT MARRY TO CHANGE A PERSON.

I am yet 2 marry but I'v seen alot of people who married to change their spouses but ended up meeting their waterloo. The fact that God made her to upen up 2 u shouldnt deceive u that she's ready to stick 2 u. That glory belongs 2 God not her.

I know of ayoungman exactly in your shoes. He went ahead to marry the lady. After 4 weeks of marriage, he met his pastor and said "sir, I've TRIED for living with this woman for 4 WHOLE weeks!' Divorce is their case.

Well, what I will say to you is this,this issue is not about you,its first of all about the said Lady,You said she has had sex wt this other guy several times, so what I need to know is that are u fully convinced that this lady has detached herself from this other guy?Taking her back is not the issue but the fact that,u guys can come back together and at the end of the day, you will still have the same issue coming up again.
You want to hear the truth, she is more bonded with the other guy than yourself ooowhy?she has sex with the other guy severall times and with you none! Get a grip on yourself,Pull yourself togther and pray and hear from God and move on with your life! There is no nothing about like one guy i smeant for one girl oooo,God will never violate your freewill.
Make up your mind fast and ask her straight forward questions, she is more attracted to that other guy more than your self and she will repeat havingsex with over and over!And at the same time be shedding crocodile taers and still go back and enjoy the guy on bed and be quoting scriptures to you while thinking about d good times hes had with the other guy!
Abeg, I want to work!

I sympathize with you greatly. You see, marriage is the voluntary union for life of one man and one woman; to the exclusion of all others. The picture i'm painting here is that, once you get in be ready to stick to it. Man's second childhood begins when a woman gets hold of him.

Count yourself lucky that your fiancee deemed it fit to go the road of confession. It would have been worse if this was coming in after your marriage with her. Get yourself together, if you are convinced that she is truly sorry for her misdemeanour, forgive and forget it. BUT be very sure she has changed or turned back from her road of adventure (thats what i call it).

Finally, pray that GOD gives you the strength to encounter that which is to come, that you may be brave in peril, constant in in tribulation, temperate in wrath, and in all changes of fortune, and down to the gates of death, loving and loyal one to another.

my guy u beter thank God 4 letin her to review this to u.i won't advise to leave or forsake her,pls cont'n with ur relationship in God we trust.u don't no who is who.don't be angry nor sad be cool &stay colse 2her.keep washing.

shinaalayo:

my guy u beter thank God 4 letin her to review this to u.i won't advise to leave or forsake her,please cont'n with your relationship in God we trust.u don't no who is who.don't be angry nor sad be cool &stay colse 2her.keep washing.

washing what?

urs is a minor case, know of a neighbour that caught his fiancee in the act on his own bed and they are still together heard after that the girl is still playing around but carefully now, only God can save one from an adulterous woman. A leopard hardly change its skin.

hey bro, i will give you a good advise as a man like you. it's a good thing she told you the truth so you don't get to find out sooner or later after you guys are pronounced as husband and wife, well to be more specific it's really hard to find a good girl with such good manner this days. based on my own idea it may be too good to be truth or she is good for real that's the 2 basic things about the whole thing. but bro i will advise you to follow you heart. don't take it too personal coz it happens everywhere, you should be happy she told you earlier. and my last word don't rush into the wedding give it some more time to think Analise.

Good Luck

If she had not opened up, what would you have done?  Honestly, 95% of the ladies are just like that but the worst is that if you leave her for another lady, it will be difficult for you to know where to place your close watch for the new lady.

Just forgive her but she must leave that work to save the intending marriage.    Give her a second chance because the new lady may be worst than her.

@poster
It is unfortunate that the deed has been done. But you have to live with the realities now.

Your so-called fiancee was not a virgin b/f or after she met you or the other guy.
So the guy she slept with did not do anything new.

But for her to confess to you, she is prob a good christian.
She has repented and confession is a part of true repentance.

A true test of your love for her and your christianity is if you can forgive and take her back.
Most ladies or guys will never confess.

Your fiancee is a good and rare soul.

@poster

I wantto thank God for you that you re a christian, and i also believe that anybody can be in the situation your woman has found herself, but not many will admit that here. Just remember that all the people that have given the above advices may not share your faith, as a matter of fact some of them may not share any faith.

Also, you will agree with me that it take God to make a woman confess to such things that may ruin her relationship and possibly her life, but its better that way than going ahead with so much guilt, but remember that if she decide not to tell you, you probably would not know. I will say there fore that it will do you a lot of good to forgive and forget but ensure you know the reason while she did it and she should severe the relationship with other guy. However this is not as easy as it sounds but it is possible. Personally, i ve seen several of such cases and it turn out to be wonderful relationship thereafter.

It is a test of your faith, besides to err is human, please forgive, i ve realised that forgiveness heals the heart though painful but forgiveness is better than unforgiveness, you might just saved a soul and turn alife around, just remember it could happen to any one of us,it may just be the begining of her own true conversion, and you would ve played important role in her life.

You and I know as christian we ve obligation to forgive no matter how painful, if you love her, pls forgive her, and carrying on with your life and don't ever tell that story to anybody becos it will do you no good if you still want her as your wife to be. She has her blame but some guy could really be bad, he took advantage of the closeness in the office and besides she may not be experience to know the limit to go with guys, how ever you may also have your faulth in this matter that you may not really understand now, so, pls be sensitive to the need of your woman, everythin good needs prayer and vice versa, don't think because you have o good partner and then go home to sleep, your have a role to play, forgive, afterall if she didn't tell you you would not ve known and that may not be the first time she is having sex anyway, so what difference does it make.
take heart, its not the end of the world.

I really felt for you after reading your post, but I will advice you to forgive her cos to err is human and forgiveness is divine. As a Christian, I advice you to go to your Pastor with the girl to iron out things in a form of counselling. Equally hasten the marriage formalities or plans so as to put stamp on her as your lawfully own. Wishing you the best of luck and pray for God's guidance.

all these born again pple dey make me vex. my guy, now that u know, its up to u what u want to do. the fact that pple know that u r going out should not matter one bit should u want to end the relationship.

If you meet a lady, the plain truth is she is not likely to be a virgin. And theres a saying 'if you have two oranges, you must taste them to know which is sweeter'. Your girlfriend was dating two men, she decided on you and picked you. And because she didn't want any skeletons in her cupboard, she went further to tell you about the other guy before you tie the marital knot. So whats your problem? Would you rather she had kept quiet about it and let you find out by yourself in future? how would you have felt then? The lady has done no wrong o. And I think she is one person you should go ahead and marry. Don't make the mistake of leaving her or you end up marrying a worse person.

My man. . . . . Ur first error. NEVA, EVA PAY HEED 2 D SO CALLED MAN OF GOD. . . . U didn't shag her cuz some PASTOR said u shldn't, oh men thats so LAME!

Just fashí the dame sha cuz u're neva quite g'onna be able 2 live with d scars!

LABZ,

This is an interesting issue and bring us back to culture.Usually we go through the family system when courting a woman.But because we have been imperialised by our so called religion.You went to your pastor,who gave both of you a "go ahead nod".If he was actually a Prophet as u said he is,God would have given him the wisdom to advised you to go an pray over it and come back.
Reading through your post,i must say grow up and learn to decide for yourself.
My 2 cent is,your girl only confessed because your are not as dirty as she is.You might give her a second chance,but no rush to the alter.

My brother,please look unto God for a better spouse !

big father:

My brother,please look unto God for a better spouse !

Agreed,but no man should take GOD place in other people;s life.

God that i serve never abhor adultries or furnications.Kindly go to the self bible research and u discover that girl is never meant for you.Run i said run fast away from her as if u are RUNNING 4 OLYMPIC 100 METER GOLD FINAL.

Thank God 4 that u known earlier,u no what there is different btw luv,lost and infatuation.
 i have to tell u the truth of that relationship that she  has no luv 4 u,try to be a man and continue serchingn because she willinglly slept with another guy when u think she's still in lu with u common if she does she won't do that