ferhyntorlah: Na wa oh. This just reminded me of Ambassador Wigwe's story.

Na always those people now. Callous money crazy lots!

Truckpusher: Madam went too far on this one sha!...this is a ticket for him to get another wife and shine another congo..
..if na me I no go miss this opportunity oohhh!!!

She feels her earning power as a nurse should make the man controllable. The guy no send her.

Nigerian nurses in america exhibit this behaviour alot.

Their pic is funny sha. Seems that was when they were still in the village.

mimifonwon: sad part is that i know this family... it is sad what some Nigerian women do to their husbands here in the usa, because they know most of the laws favor women here, because i swear i have heard women do worst knowing laws in this land prohibit their husband of returning them to their parents without anything like in nigeria without losing out. Most Nigerians dont know how some naija men are disrespected by their wives, things these women know they could never get away with in nigeria. I dont condone violence but some igbo men try their best to keep their families together here in usa, and the women become the abusers. I hope she goes to jail. Her children are grown so they wont miss her much. This is the reason i recommend intertribal marriage , because they balance other out. And you dont get madness like this. May God help all the nigerian men, especially those that go home and marry and bring the girl over, for her to start misbehaving and try to be equal to the man, fact, a woman can never be equal to a man, not even in this America.

Crap!! Very judgmental comment.

My issue with some Razz Local minded Nigerian men is, why do they choose to train their wives through Nursing school while they lazy away?? Train yourself self before you worry about the village girl that would become a Medical Doctor. In a marriage where there is no love, nothing can work long-term. Even when a spouse turns on you, there's something to fall back on.

Yvete:

Crap!! Very judgmental comment.

My issue with some Razz Local minded Nigerian men is, why do they choose to train their wives through Nursing school while they lazy away?? Train yourself self before you worry about the village girl that would become a Medical Doctor. In a marriage where there is no love, nothing can work long-term. Even when a spouse turns on you, there's something to fall back on.

I do not say that part of what you say is not true, but am not being judgmental what i wrote is based on facts and things i have seen with my own eye. I have an uncle, My mom's younger brother who happens to be a professor in university here in the states, makes a good amount of money, but he went to nigeria back in the 90s, married a nigerian girl from abia state his parents found for him, brought her over trained her in nursing school , then she went to medical school, which my uncle payed for. by 2000, when the lady started making more money than her husband she started trying to wear the pants in the family. My uncle makes about $85K a year, but my aunt makes about $40K more than him. My aunts family in nigeria started telling her that since she made the most money she should be able to dictate how it is spent. Before my uncle knew it, she started hiding money, and started sending money to her people and building houses in her own village without my uncle's knowledge. You have to understand my uncle and his wife lived in a very wealthy white suburban neighborhood, so their mortgage was crazy and like many Nigerians drive luxury cars just to put up a front of how well they are doing compared to others, my uncle and his wife did that. The money issue and distrust was what ended their marriage. The only thing is that how she tried making everything hard on the kids by trying to do the divorce here, but in Georgia where they lived and because he married her under nigeria's traditional laws and the international community and usa have to abide by that, my uncle got full custody of his three kids as traditional laws in ngwa land dictates, and plus she pays him spousal and child support because the judge who carried out the case here saw it so, especially since she was the one that petitioned for the divorce, which she dont like now. They divorced after 24 years of marriage, my uncle hasnt remarried, but she dates.My uncle is 16 years her senior, and he married her when she was 18. So Newsflash for any nigerian based woman wanting to marry a yankee husband, as long as your husband married you traditionally first within nigeria, and he takes you to another country, by respect of international laws, your husband if he is smart can use traditional law against you, and the country where you live, as long as its a democracy will have to follow the provisions of the traditional law. Nigerian women who get married in naija needs to know if they marry their husband under traditional laws and not under usa marital laws, that traditional laws super cedes the laws of the state they reside in, my aunt learned that in a hard way. P.S. WHy do you think in naija if you dont do a traditional wedding they dont see you as completely married?

@mimifonwon that was a very valid point you raised, my immediate younger brother is based in Atlanta and he relayed with me something similar to what u got in ur last post. The only dissimilarity was that after a while, the lady the man married from Naija eloped with another naija man in d US which left d other man totally shattered! To me, the way of life over there its like a dog eat dog one, very cold world! Nice write up and good job

why are these people 'going back to the village to marry'?

they don't want to marry already established ladies, working and already earning their own cash?

seems to me they are looking for someone to oppress or 'train up' like an investment or something

what happen to all the igbos/yorubas already in town?

I try to avoid comments that begets another response and then, its prolonged, dragged on, etc, but I'll say something anyways.

My entire family, except my parents live in the US (arguably the most popular enclave outside Nigeria). Last year, a male friend went to Nigeria to look for a wife in Medical school. She came over Nov' 11 and its been rough for them. He mentioned that he will not file for her GC until she bears one child at least, for fear that she will dump him after getting her papers. Why did you go to Nigeria to import a wife you barely know? That's one example. Sep '12, my immediate senior brother went to Nigeria to marry. *no comment* The list goes on and on.

Not that Nigerian women don't have issues. Most of us do. I must confess that the extent of respect expected from women in Nigeria may not be the same as those of us based here because we are used to being somewhat independent and that could cause a whole lot of disrespect. A friend told me that on arrival to the US, it shocked him to see his sister's husband frying plantains in the kitchen. Something that may not be a big deal to anyone leaving here. My fiance is in the US and he has to understand/compromise while I pay attention to 'RESPECT and not crossing the line". I was young; barely 20years old when I came over so I can speak about Nigeria comfortably.

My own pastors wife dumped him when she starting making money as a BSN. He announced how he brought her from Nigeria, trained her and she used him. ... emmm Man of God, are you too blessed to be educated?

I repeat that SOME Nigerian men are LAZY AS F.uvk! Get a degree, get a job and then train your wife. They marry money making machines from Nigeria and its got to stop. I would also agree that Nigerian women can be vain and materialistic which can drag a man to hell faster than he ever imagined. My issue with your previous comment is that just because your uncle married a dumba$$, does not mean a lot of Nigerian women in the US are dumba$$es.

Yvete: I try to avoid comments that begets another response and then, its prolonged, dragged on, etc, but I'll say something anyways.

My entire family except my parents live in Houston (arguably the most popular Nigerian enclave outside Nigeria). Last year, a male friend went to Nigeria to look for a wife in Medical school. She came over Nov' 11 and its rough for them. He mentioned that he will not file for her GC until she bears one child at least, for fear that she will dump him after getting her papers. Why did you go to Nigeria to import a wife you barely know? That's one example. Sep '12, my immediate senior brother went to Nigeria to marry. *no comment* The list goes on and on.

Not that Nigerian women don't have issues. Most of us do. I must confess that the extent of respect expected from women in Nigeria may not be the same as those of us who are based here because we are used to being somewhat independent and that could cause a whole lot of disrespect. A friend told me that on arrival to the US, it shocked him to see his sister's husband frying plantains in the kitchen. Something that may not be a big deal to anyone leaving here. I came over at 18 and throughout all these years, I visit Nigeria bi-annually so I can speak about Nigeria comfortably. My fiance is barely 2 years in the US and he had to understand/compromise while I pay attention to 'RESPECT and not crossing the line".

My own pastors wife dumped him when she starting making money as a BSN. He announced how he brought her from Nigeria, trained her and she used him. emmm Man of God, are you too blessed to be educated?

I repeat that SOME Nigerian men are LAZY AS F.U$k! Get a degree, get a job and then train your wife. They marry money making machines from Nigeria and its got to stop. I would also agree that Nigerian women can be vain and materialistic which can drag a man to hell faster than he ever imagined. My issue with your previous comment is that just because your uncle married a dumba$$, does not mean a lot of Nigerian women in the US are dumba$$es.

ok I can see your point, but it is still biased. None is innocent in these nigerian marriage matters. For most things, its cultural clash and men wanting to have a wife like their moms and grandmothers, forgetting that things change and so does people. My point is that most of these men are not just lazy, some work,have good jobs, but the fact is that most of the time their wives working in the medical fields will make more than them. Men need to adjust and so do women, but the problem comes in when these women try to become the men. Like i said my mom cooks when she can, and my dad when he can. Now that we are all out of the house living on our own, when my dad gets hungry- ( his 57 oo) and my mom isnt home he either cooks for himself or take from the freezer what my mother has cooked already, he doesnt complain. I think he even cooks better than my mom at times, lol. So a man cooking shouldnt be a surprise or culture shock , many men do it in naija( especially single) even in the village. I believe that that having gone to uni in the states and meeting my mom here also made him assimilate to the culture, while they still held their traditional culture with a little fixes. When a woman doesnt have respect for her husband and culture that is when she feels she can do anything she wants without restriction. It is a woman's job to maintain peace, not to diminish it. My other advice is to Nigerian men, if you cannot bear with the fact that the wife you might marry from naija might turn into cruella davil, marry the nigerian girl already here, or who ever else that fancy you. Oyibo will do their best to maintain your culture, even to the extent of cooking your native dishes. In my opinion even nigerian born girls here have more respect for their culture than those in nigeria and village. Yes some of these men want a woman they can control to a certain degree, but not all, they just want someone that will keep their culture but they forget that america is not nigeria where culture rules over democracy.