Nairaland Forum

Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / Login / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 1230869 members, 1617880 topics. Date: Monday, 01 September 2014 at 08:39 AM

Funny Weed Stories - Literature - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Funny Weed Stories (387 Views)

An Expose On Weed (1) (2) (3) (4)

(0) (Reply) (Go Down)

Funny Weed Stories by ositadima1(m): 6:58pm On Dec 27, 2012
Hey, I will be posting some funny stories I chanced on while doing homwork. U can add up urs too.
Re: Funny Weed Stories by ositadima1(m): 6:58pm On Dec 27, 2012
haha ok.. this was about a month ago, i owed my 2
friends badly case i was broke for awhile and they both
smoked me up many times (i always repay them). so i
bought an ounce of Orange crush umm bout 500 dollars.
so my rents were gone for the day so i called them up
and they came over my friend brought his 6 foot bong so we ripped the bong for about 30min then took 3
bowl hits each to the face.. by this time we were pretty
blasted so we went to my corner store haha AS SOON as
we walk in my friend1 says "I want ice cream
soooooooooo badly!!" haha he yelled this so everyone
turns with the look "wtf" we bought icecream a bag of chips and a large pizza. we finished all the food in
like 30min haha then friend2 rolled 3 blunts we smoked
those and we gone.. we couldnt smoke anymore or we
would black out haha we went into my back woods
and if you walk about half a mile we get to a rail trail
we were walking on this for 2 hrs when my dad called hhaha uh oh and heres the convo
me: hey dad whats up
dad: nothin just calling to check in
me: oh cool.. whats up?
dad: haha just checking in sooo what you up to?
me: nothin just looking at the rain coming from the ground
dad: ...... what?
me: dad im walking the dog i just told you..
dad: are you ok??
me: yes im fine im siting on the couch watching a
movie Dad: Your high arnt you
(here i relized what i just said so i needed a quick cover
up soo)
Me: No way!! are you High?!?!
dad:.. what?
me: I know your high dad! dont try to cover up dad: uhh no im not me: HA! i know you are!
Dad: you are a strange kid...
me: Dad.... im not high i just said that! uhh yeah im
weird haha bye( and i hung up)
After that my friends and i bust out laughing.. we ended
up going back to the store buying more food ate it and passed out overall was an awesome night! Stay high!

1 Like

Re: Funny Weed Stories by ositadima1(m): 6:59pm On Dec 27, 2012
hahaha
Re: Funny Weed Stories by ositadima1(m): 7:36pm On Dec 27, 2012
Not really a story but hey..lol I went to go pick some smoke from the local dealer,
Bur due to my mates car being to low we couldnt get
over speed bumps! We thought puck it we'll walk up
to his house which was a 5mins walk away from
were we parked. As we were walkin back from
"tony's" house my freind turned round to me and said imagine a sniffer dog walked past us now, We had a
little giggle then carried on walking. Me as a typical
chav started to examine the weed using someone's
light in the drive. A few seconds later i turn round and my mates hiding
behind a parked car signaling to me thats there 3 cop
car's parked at the bottom of the hill. I decided to
have a little look., As im looking down the hill
looking shift as hell the front door of the garden im in
opens..As i turn round to see the person in the door, little did i relaise that there was a raid in progress!
First think that came into my head was hide. The
police officer seen my mate and went over to talk to
him, questioning him why he was hiding behind the
cars. As the copper was talking to my mate i did a bit
of SAS and sneaked into the garden next door. My mate had came up with a excuse saying that he's
playing hide and seek which his 10 year old nephew
( my mate being 19 i didnt think it would work, but
it did.lol) The police searched my mate just incase he
had anything on him(which he didnt i did) But since
he didnt have anything on him they send him on him way home. As the copper re-enters the house decided
this was my change to make a break for the car, So i
bolted off through bout 3 gardens and back into the
car, Proper pooping my self at this stage, I meet my
mate int he car so we just drove off as fast as we
could.lol...First thing i did when i got back home..Rolled a nice big joint to carm my self down.lol Not really a story but just a close shave..:joint Im sorry for spelling btw i'm quite stoned... Happy Smoking..I hope some 1 else has some stories

1 Like

Re: Funny Weed Stories by ositadima1(m): 11:04am On Dec 30, 2012
More stories
Re: Funny Weed Stories by ositadima1(m): 11:04am On Dec 30, 2012
Once upon a time... oh wait, wrong
story. Back in the mid 90s I was
teaching at Ithaca College in NY. I had
some great friends in NYC and every
now and then I would go to the city for
what we called WWW (women's wasted weekends) ...although it was
never just women anyway, I had the bright idea to use a college car for the
trip... you know, save wear and tear on my own car. So
I checked out a car and drove to Manhattan and WWW
commenced.... I think that was the weekend we
invented the phrase "amoeba like state" because after
all we imbibed that was what our state was. At the end of the weekend I couldn't find my suitcase thingy
so I just stuffed everything into a garbage bag and
threw it into the trunk of the car. Anyway..... I was
driving home and was going through New Jersey, just
outside Newark. I was tokin and driving, I love to drive
and smoke, just buzzing along when what do you know.. New Jersey State Trooper flashing behind me.
Talk about a buzz kill. So I pull over, wondering just
how red my eyes are .... and by this time I am shaking
all over. The copy gets out of his car and walks toward
mine.... he is this huge (over six feet) black guy and
when I see him in the rear view mirror all I can think is... OMG I am going to jail in Newark! And I am in the
college's car! poo, I'm gonng lose my job... damn damn
damn... So he asks me for my license and registration...
okay well the registration is in the glove box and he
sees that the car belongs to the college. He asks if I
work there, I try to look convincing as I nod yes. I am scrabbling all around the car (Just before I pulled over I
put my pipe under the seat)...l ooking for my god damn
license, can't find it anywhere. He waits patiently for a
few minutes.... I am losing it more and more with each
minute and where the hell is that damn license! I am
sure he can smell the pot smoke lingering in the car even though I turned the fan on full blast. Finally I tell
him I think my license must be in the trunk. He says
okay get out and find it. So (this is after about 10
minutes of looking for it in the car)..... I open the trunk
and he is right beside me and I swear he laughed
when he saw my garbage bags full of stuff. So i'm pullling out clothes and throwing them aside.... looking
in the pockets of all my pants for that damn license...
and a little baggie falls out and lands on the ground.... I
saw it fall out of the corner of my eye while I was
searching through the clothes. All of a sudden the
license isn't so much of an issue. He says... "is this yours?" And with my best innocent face ever (or so I
thought) I say "oh no, that's not mine! I don't know
HOW that got in here. You know I was in the city with
friends all weekend going to bars and stuff and I just
stuffed everything into these bags in a hurry and I
must have picked that up by mistake." He looked and me and damn if he didn't smile. I guess he thought my
story or my fear or the whole thing was pretty funny.
And then he gave me one of those smiles like he
thought I was sorta cute. I'm like "I'm so sorry please
don't take me to jail." So he made me get back in the
car and he went to his car (I never did find that damn license until I got home)... he was in his car for what
seemed like an eternity. The whole time I'm just
wondering who I'm gonna call to come and get me out
of jail in New Jersey. Finally he comes back and hands
me two tickets... one for speeding, one for not finding
my license... a total of a few hundred bucks... and he tells me I was lucky this time and to drive the speed
limit from now on. I took those tickets like they were
a gift. Thank God I'm a girl... I think it's the only thing
that saved me from jail that day. Oh yeah, I waited til I
was back in New York State to light up again.
Re: Funny Weed Stories by kay29000(m): 1:34pm On Dec 30, 2012
Hi? Why those your profile say u are 'male?' Whenu just said that u are a girl?

And u said u bought cush for 500 dollars? Is weed that expensive in the states?
Re: Funny Weed Stories by ositadima1(m): 1:53pm On Dec 30, 2012
kay29000: Hi? Why those your profile say u are 'male?' Whenu just said that u are a girl?

And u said u bought cush for 500 dollars? Is weed that expensive in the states?

Hey!!! they are not mine. I chanced on them and I felt I should share.
Re: Funny Weed Stories by kay29000(m): 7:18pm On Dec 30, 2012
hmm! Okay. Why dont u get a username...its easy.
Re: Funny Weed Stories by sholay2011(m): 11:26pm On Dec 30, 2012
Eh eh, orisiirisii ni nairaland. @OP your bad use of punctuation mark makes ur write up quite difficult to read.

NB: pls dnt smoke weed when opening a thread...tnx.
Re: Funny Weed Stories by ositadima1(m): 10:35am On Dec 31, 2012
^^^ Are u M.J racesist?
Re: Funny Weed Stories by ositadima1(m): 4:41pm On Jan 01, 2013
best story i can remember was in
highschool. we were tripping over at my friends
house one weekend when his parents were out of
town, so we were gone. My best friend blake (r.i.p.)
has the tv on for some reason and sees where
theres a fire. for some reason he thought the fire was coming lmao. He goes in the back yard and
turns on the garden hose and starts spraying his
lawn down expecting the fire. like dead serious.
defending his property from the fire. the fire was
like in Az or some shlt. he saw it on CNN and
thought it was local lol.anyways it took a good 10 minutes of convincing for him to back away from
the hose and come back in side. used to harrass him
about that all the time.
Re: Funny Weed Stories by ositadima1(m): 4:41pm On Jan 01, 2013
lmao

(0) (Reply)

Good Essay Topic For Secondary School Students. / How To Upgrade Your Jamb Result / The HIV Test Result!

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (0) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2014 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See Nairalist and How To Advertise. 69
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.