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And Finally, Resume Duds by exago(m): 3:15pm On Mar 05, 2013 |
And Finally, Resume Duds The following are excerpts from real resumes. Under no circumstances use any of these samples (unless of course you don't really want the job): "Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year." "Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave." "I was working for my mom until she decided to move." "Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments." "I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant." "As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments." "Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job." "Marital status: often. Children: various." "Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions." "The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers." "Finished eighth in my class of ten." "Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting." "I am a rabid typist." "Proven ability to track down and correct erors." "References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me." "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department." "Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!" "Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far." http://www.abastaff.com/resources/resume/blunders.html And finally remember eternity.....why not decide for JESUS today |
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