HY, this are some of my poem collections. i would appreciate constructive criticism from all. thank you

TALE OF AN EMPTY HEART

alone in the fields my heart longs,
for love, life, and air for my lungs,
fresh, flowing from supernatural source,
a little bit of hope for a black dunce,
pure, not of a tempest torture,
in history lies the days i clamor,
reminiscing the past, the present has no future,
what of life? i dwelt in peace in her harbor,
at this time in shields and armors,
attacked, beaten, torn to shreds by vultures,
my heart survives the take but longs for another,
another, if there could be another dear mother?
then i would worship the breast that gave milk,
and i would bless the hands that fed me.

a sad tale, right in the heart of the Sahara,
amidst the mystical mist of the Savannah.

yes
deadliest beautiful one, dearest ugly one,
i come to your doorstep, with water and blood,
in your reign, i came to know war,
on your throne, i ate my spinal cord,
but in one accord, lets raise our hearts high
lets drink, lets dine, lets dance, let us all die.

what is the joy of life, please kindly tell me?
at the gate of eternity, what is its toll fee?
violence comes knocking, yet violence knows love
aren't these vices and virtues from one God?
one must take today, the other wait for the next
forever in an empty heart, i would always bless

TEACH ME

teach me how to cry,
my tears lives a mark,
teach me how to smile,
a light in the dark,
teach me how to laugh,
when it is worth it,
teach me all about life
just for a hint

teach me how to pray
my hands up to heaven
teach me how to play
counting one to seven
teach me how to dance
all through the evenings
teach me all about balance
that of natures dealings

teach me how to fight
for equal rights and justice
teach me how to chat
with confidence and prestige
teach me how to cuddle
especially when in love
teach me all about evil
from the bottom to the top

teach me how to understand
what is good and what is bad
teach me how to stand
away from friendly mishap
teach me how to clean
lifes mistakes and stains
then you teach me how to dream
of those little lovely poems

ADVENTURE OF RAPHAEL

I sail through the darkened quagmire
Leaving behind, not a mile.
On the port of oblivion I meet sire
I kiss the ground, saying “Sir”.

Go forth and go out of the mire
Cut the thorns and piercing wires.
He sayeth unto me
And I heeded to thee.

This adventure not thus my desire
Nonetheless, on this route I ply
Night befalls me on the sly
The night-crawlers heavenly fly
In my stomach a reviling cry
Food for thought, just a fry
It’s movements to and fro, so wry.

The second day consciously born
Enslaved to the impending sun
My attire quaintly worn,
Now vigorously torn.
One moon-light gone in my slum
A new ego-bum
Transpired below average norm
Sailing to the records of a worm.
I am just an everyday Tom
My service digs-up my tomb.

Third day my visions exposed
A delightful imbroglio
A clear dominion imposed
Flattened to an embryo.
Dink, ding, dang
My shattered nerves bang
And my bones in gangs
Shoot-out rather familiar tangs
Shuddering bodily slangs
Rendezvous in brain-bands
Omnipresent classic yin-yang
In an altitude of magical wand.

Mission rendered was no wangle
But least expected the crawling tangle
In darkness again my soul mingles
And the tooth in the coldness tingles
In my faint thoughts, I cuddle
Back and forth in darkness cradle.

Fourth day, an exposé to reality
Totally lost the sense of sanity
Commensuration and tenacity
A hopeless vanity.
And now my memory fails me
While my visions keeps playing tricks
I see my son in the garden of greens
We play round and round, his laughter so real
But the air in my trachea, cut loose
I lay flat on my adventures noose.

OH MY AFRICA

A sound is heard in Africa
The sound of bitter weeping
Africa is crying for Her offspring’s
Refuses to be comforted

For they are about dying!

The children, pride of the mother
But now, there is great disorder
While Africa stares and mourns
Whilst her offspring’s is gone with the storms

Can there ever be a remedy?
Maybe it might end-up being deadly
Till then Africa looks-up to the sky
And weeps the tears of her eye

Oh my! Oh my! Africa

FREEDOM

O Freedom, where thou at
Your children, on thou part
Seeking your sweet act
Carried on your soothing cart

We knock, O thou on your door
Come and make us free once more
We roll on sack clothes, weeping
Just for your minute blessing

Freedom! You are sweet and we know that
Freedom! On our lips and we speak-out
Freedom to go wherever
Freedom to empower a leader.

Freedom! Could be soured in excess
A controversial ceaseless menace

But

Freedom, is good that I know
Freedom, is judged with my soul

I wear my freedom
My vision becomes clearer
I wear my freedom
My voice is heard louder
I wear my freedom
I say you are a bad leader
I wear my freedom
I know my country is on a wrong ladder

Freedom! Come tell us the truth
Freedom! Come exert your prove
Freedom! My actions, are they good?
Because Freedom is all good

We are free, Freedom is that so?
We claim to be; only Freedom knows
What does it mean to know freedom?
An obligation for the next generation

i wish someone could comment on my thread. i feel so lonely on this thread

nice poems, reali enjoyed 'teach me' and 'freedom', keep it up

You the boss.Hope you working on publishing

thanks all. i have a published collection in the market, but i get fulfillment when people read and enjoy my work. when it is time to make money through my writing, i would. thanks all

Iam back

Morning peeps. Happy sunday

Hy mods

can you make my thread hit frontpage?

long time coming

kagari:
long time coming

You dropped your pen, bro? What happened?

JoeBlocks:
You dropped your pen, bro? What happened?

na my pen is my weapon

kagari:
na my pen is my weapon

True that.

Lalaclastica use this as an Easter surprise.

Could you please try to put punctuation and capital letters where appropriate? It is important you do that so that your poems will not have aberrant and erroneous structures. I would be glad if you could accept my criticism without acrimony.

batros:
Could you please try to put punctuation and capital letters where appropriate? It is important you do that so that your poems will not have aberrant and erroneous structures. I would be glad if you could accept my criticism without acrimony.

criticism noted and appreciated.

Hello