Attempt all questions. Time: 1hr 30 mins

Section A (All questions carry equal marks)

1. What are the names of the two people holding hands when you switch on a Nokia phone ?

2. If the past tense of Take is Took, what is the past tense of Make ?

3. Which university in Nigeria has the highest number of ladies using blackberry phones?

4. If Buhari is a friend to Obasanjo on facebook, who sent the friend request and why ?

5. if the cost of moi-moi is N10.50, what is the cost of moi ?

6. Who ate the missing part of the apple logo?

SECTION B

1. Between the Nigerian police and Nigerian girls, who likes money more?

2. Using the almighty formula, calculate the diameter of elegushi beach. (take pi=3.142)

3. If Ada is a girl and Obi is a boy,who is Adaobi ?

4. If your x-boyfriend/ girlfriend wins N50,000,000 on who wants to be a millionaire after you broke up, find the value of X?

5. If it takes Goodluck 1 hour to deliver a typed speech in a national conference, how many days will it take Patience to deliver the same speech on the same occasion?

SECTION C

1) Tuface was given a Prado and Ferarri on his traditional wedding and white wedding respectively. There is every likelihood that D Banj has gone ahead to print wedding invitation cards without an available bride. Discuss.

2) Write an essay of 1, 500 words on 'My Oga At The Top'

NO SIDE TALK CHEATING

GOOD LUCK.

Pls remember to submit all scripts used

Good write up, keep it up

Section A (All questions carry equal marks)
1. What are the names of the two people holding hands when you switch on a Nokia phone ?
Ans. Their names are Aki and Pawpaw.

2. If the past tense of Take is Took, what is the past tense of Make?
Ans. Mookina

3. Which university in Nigeria has the highest number of ladies using blackberry phones?
Ans. MAULAG

4. If Buhari is a friend to Obasanjo on facebook, who sent the friend request and why?
Ans. Is it even possible? I know that Buhari is not corrupt so he cannot use facebook which can corrupt.

5. if the cost of moi-moi is N10.50, what is the cost of moi?
Ans. Moi? Non, ce n'est pas moi mais vous? Hmm…êtes-vous vraiment en vente? Are you really for sale?

6. Who ate the missing part of the apple logo?
Ans. Adam did. That’s why you have Adam’s apple.


SECTION B

1. Between the Nigerian police and Nigerian girls, who likes money more?
Ans. Nigerian Police. Nigerian girls can never go lower than fifty naira.

2. Using the almighty formula, calculate the diameter of elegushi beach. (take pi=3.142)
Ans. Sorry, are you sure you got this question right? Because I cannot find the Elegushi Beach on the map in my Atlas. And by the way, do you think you can fool me? Just so you know, Almighty formula is used to solve quadratic equations whereas Pi is used in calculating radii, diameters and circumferences of circles, dumbo.

3. If Ada is a girl and Obi is a boy,who is Adaobi?
Ans. Then Adaobi should be Lesbianboy, am I correct?

4. If your x-boyfriend/ girlfriend wins N50,000,000 on who wants to be a millionaire after you broke up, find the value of X?
Ans. Simple. X = "Sweetie, Sweetie m, please remember that to err is human but to forgive is divine. So, mommy m, bikonu, please forgive and forget…"

5. If it takes Goodluck 1 hour to deliver a typed speech in a national conference, how many days will it take Patience to deliver the same speech on the same occasion?
Ans. Hmm…so you mean to tell me that you want to send madam to another seven days in coma?


SECTION C

1) Tuface was given a Prado and Ferarri on his traditional wedding and white wedding respectively. There is every likelihood that D Banj has gone ahead to print wedding invitation cards without an available bride. Discuss.
Ans. Ha! Didn’t you hear? Please stop listening to rumors and unconfirmed sources because it is completely baseless. Last time I heard from some unconfirmed sources, D Banj said that because he’s so endowed, he has not yet found a woman anywhere in the world capable of completely caging his 'long thing'.

2) Write an essay of 1,500 words on 'My Oga At The Top'
Sorry. *coughs* I cannot categorically write such an essay.*coughs*Sorry.