As Judas watched the Roman soldiers drag Jesus away from the Garden of Gethsemane after arresting him, a great fear suddenly seized him.

He had also watched as the other apostles fled including one unidentified man who had to run away na ked after leaving his cloth behind in the hands of the soldiers while resisting arrest, and he knew he had to act very fast.

The main reason why he became afraid was because he suddenly felt so lonely. It suddenly dawned on him that all these while he had been an apostle that he really enjoyed the company of all those other guys but it’s like it was now time for him to start another life.

He started to consider the reprisal attack that the other apostles might be planning against him already immediately they went back to regroup because they had seen him kiss their master at the Garden and they all knew what that meant. He was aware that there could be a case of a very big manhunt for him which he may not be able to survive unless he acted fast.

He had seen Simon Peter cut off someone’s ear in a flash and with no remorse and his great fear for that guy awakened once more. He knew how determined Simon Peter could be if he sets his mind on anything and he didn't want to be a direct victim of that guy’s wrath because he had could still recollect how the guy mercilessly and single-handedly beat up both Thaddeus and Philip on that very day those two disrespected him.

So that left him with only one option. He had to leave town and he had to do that very fast. In fact, he had to leave town now!

*********************************

So he quickly scampered down the garden and started heading to his home to collect a few belongings he knew he might need. He knew he had to do that very fast because his home was definitely the first place they will come looking for him so he had to clear out.

Besides, he had to collect some money for the journey too. He also knew that he needed to get an international passport and if possible change his identity so that it will not be possible for anyone to trace him in the new country where he will be going to spend some time in; at least until the dust he has raised settles. Since he was the treasurer to the apostles, he knew he had to act fast and take all that money before the others come for him for their money too.

On reaching his house, he quickly threw in a couple of shirts and some jeans trousers, his toothbrush, his dark shades and his shaving stick into a rucksack. He wanted to shave off his long beard to continue with his planned disguise but he quickly decided against doing that simply because he knew he was already running out of time.

He reached for the bag where he kept the apostles’ money and his heart suddenly froze. The bag of money was no longer there!

Where could it be? Had someone broken into his house and taken the whole money while he was away at Gethsemane doing the dirty job?

Sh it! He cursed under his breath as he searched for it everywhere but couldn't find it. He thought selling out his master was going to be easy job but it appears as if nemesis was already catching up with him and it was happening so soon!

Anyway with no time to waste on regretting, he remembered he still had in his pockets the thirty pieces of silver that he took as part payment for the dirty job of betraying his master and those priests also agreed to pay him the remaining part once the job is done so that means he still had somewhere to start from.

Quickly, he slung the rucksack on his back, closed the windows and locked his doors, and without leaving any note of his whereabouts to whomever it might concern, he left in very quick steps.

**************************

Lololol. Laff wan kill me o!
Madman!

Waiting for the rest of this script, Bro! LWKMD!

He soon reached the place where those high priests resided. He knocked on the doors but no one answered even though he could hear some footsteps, some noise and hip hop music playing in the background suggesting that someone was inside the house. He was now in hasty mood as his heart continued to palpitate and his fears continued to mount. He was also finding it very difficult to breathe now.

He started banging heavily on the metallic door.

One of the priests, angered by that very disturbance and for the interruption from the wine they were drinking at that time of the day, reluctantly went and opened the door and when he saw it was Judas, he scoffed and made to bang the door again in his face but Judas was quicker. He quickly stepped inside with rage and immediately started demanding for his complete payment in a very high, harsh and rage filled voice.

Surprisingly, none of the five high priests said anything to him. They just allowed him to rant and rave until he calmed down and could rant no more before they asked him what he really wanted.

“I want my complete payment now. The deal is done and like we agreed, you have to give me my remaining balance and you have to do that right now!"

You can imagine the shock Judas got when the five high priests suddenly burst into laughter. Judas was now completely flabbergasted!

Why, what and who on earth were they laughing at?

But as he was about to raise his voice once more, the head priest cut him short and said to him, “My friend, will you shut up there! What money are you talking about? Did you do any work for us? What exactly did you do for us, again…? Look my friend; we don’t know what you are talking about and we owe you nothing! Why don’t you just go back to that whorehouse where you came from and ask those whores you have been frolicking with throughout the whole night where they kept your money? You know it’s almost daybreak and as you can see, we are yet to sleep so in case you are not yet feeling sleepy, please allow us now to have our own sleep and stop disturbing our peace, OK…?”

Judas suddenly saw the whole picture. These guys were not ready to pay. He knew he had to threaten and coerce them into acting up but he also knew he was now at their mercy and his chances of escaping were gradually thinning down.

He started to threaten them. He told them he was going to tell the whole world how they cheated him and how they deceived him into selling out an innocent man and how they promised to buy him a very comfortable villa if he delivered. He threatened that he was going to reveal to the whole world how evil they were which will then make so many people to come to realize how fake, wicked, untrustworthy and unworthy they were to be high priests.

After Judas was through with his threats which surprisingly didn’t make any of them bulge, the head priest spoke up once more.

****************************************

You go fear hip-hop music.
Keep it coming though, not bad.

It's only God that knows exactly why Judas committed suicide. We needed not go beyond d Bible.

He said to him, “You see my friend, before we picked you for the job; we knew you would be the right man for the job. We knew that you were in charge of the apostles’ treasury which also meant that you were going to be so money minded. We also knew that you are so greedy so it wasn’t hard for us to arrange that deal for you. We knew you would easily sell out.”

“But we didn’t stop there. We knew we had to protect ourselves from any possible backlash that you may cause us which is why we made sure that you will be in no position to threaten us and as you can now see, it was right we did. You see, immediately you left with those soldiers to betray your master, we sent our men to your house and they ransacked and took away all the money that was in your possession.”

“We also made sure there was no way you are going to connect us with the arrest of your master by paying you with fake coins. We thought you were smart but as it turned out, you really surprised us with your birdbrain when you didn’t even recognize the difference between a real currency and the fake silver coins we dished out to you. For someone who was in charge of the treasury, I must say that you really disappointed us but then what could we say? We already know that there are lots and lots of things that greed could do to a man. The plan to pay you the remaining part was even part of the ploy to get you fully committed and to top it off; we promised you that phantom house…”

“So you see man, you were really stupid and heartless! You sold out your master and all the other apostles saw you do it. Who will believe your story when you go out there and start telling them that you were deceived by us into betraying your master? And even if you present those fake coins to them as evidence, nobody will be able to connect them to us because we don’t deal with fake coins. You are a big fool and a very big loser! Obviously our plan to play you at your own game of betrayal really pulled off. Now get the hell out of here and stop disturbing our peace!”

Judas now knew that the game was up. There was nothing he could do again. He thought of begging them for forgiveness and for them to show him a little mercy. He thought about telling them he was only joking but he knew that no one was going to trust him again because he has proved to everyone the double-crosser he was.

In anguish, he threw down the thirty pieces of silver coins he had in his hands on the floor and as he did that those high priests burst into an uncontrollable fit of derisive laughter.

Judas knew he was finished. He had only one thing in mind now. He was going to end it all now. He was now in tears. He knew he couldn’t stand the shame of people discovering his being fooled in such a cheap manner by these scheming old men. He knew the other disciples will never forgive him for this evil he has done and each and every one of them they will definitely seek to revenge against him in one way or the other.

It was now that he really understood what Jesus meant when he said that it would be better for the person who will betray him that he was never ever born!

Crestfallen, remorseful and completely defeated, he ran outside and as he was running he saw a rope lying carelessly on the street. He quickly dropped his rucksack, grabbed the rope and started racing towards the bush.


Want to read more of such stories? Do you really want to know the “real” reason why Job refused to curse God and die? Or the “real” reason why the Prodigal Son went back to his father? I guess you will be so much interested in finding out what really happened to the Three Wise Men afterwards?

Don't tell me you don't want me to give you the full details of how Delilah was able to conquer Samson the Great or even why the Good Samaritan battled to save the life of that Jewish guy plus why Moses had to run away from Egypt?

So, if you want to enjoy more of these type of funny Bible stories that you have never been told before, then check out Funny Shady Bible Stories You Were Never Told to get them today!

Happy reading.

Funny Shady Bible Stories You Were Never Told

Twas very cool.
If you had cut it short to about when he knocks the metal door,it would have been perfect.
Brought a good laughter out of me

Thanks for sharing! Hilarious! Will be getting a copy.

@psky - Yes na, you suppose fear hip hop music na!

@folley20 - Are you the only one in the whole of Israel who does not know the real meaning of "real"?

@seyibrown - I'm so glad you found it hilarious and you were thrilled because that's exactly the plan. Please do grab a copy because that too, is also part of the plan. It is in an Amazon kindle eBook format.

And...

@eddy - ***Speaking in Pontius Pilate's voice*** What I have written, I have written!