logline: ON THE VERGE TO SAVE THE COUNTRY FROM ECONOMY CRISIS, THE UNKNOWN CABALS BEHIND THE PRIDICAMENT OF THE COUNTRY ECONOMY SILENCE ANYONE WILLING TO STOP THEM BY A MACHINERY THAT LATER MAKE AN ATTEMPT TO EXPOSE ALL THE HIDDEN AGENDA OF THE CABALS

potencial buyer shld contact femiemma007@yahoo.com or 08066366184 or 08093652128 for neg.

standard full lenght script of 108 page

Please, can you give us a proper synopsis of the script? I don't assume dat's wat u posted here OP.

sholay2011: Please, can you give us a proper synopsis of the script? I don't assume dat's wat u posted here OP.

Yeah it is pretty difficult to understand the logline - If the 'cabals' are 'unknown' then how can anyone 'know' who they are in order to stop them? So if the 'stopper' trying to stop a ghost is stopped by the ghost then how can the stopped stopper 'later' make an attempt to expose the hidden agenda of the hidden ghost? I'm just fooling around here... I did kinda get the logline but it's just not very well written as a logline as it says nothing of the main character/s, the conflict or how it is resolved/ends.

VillageBoi:

Yeah it is pretty difficult to understand the logline - If the 'cabals' are 'unknown' then how can anyone 'know' who they are in order to stop them? So if the 'stopper' trying to stop a ghost is stopped by the ghost then how can the stopped stopper 'later' make an attempt to expose the hidden agenda of the hidden ghost? I'm just fooling around here... I did kinda get the logline but it's just not very well written as a logline as it says nothing of the main character/s, the conflict or how it is resolved/ends.

Wicked broda...

Fm007: logline: ON THE VERGE TO SAVE THE COUNTRY FROM ECONOMY CRISIS, THE UNKNOWN CABALS BEHIND THE PRIDICAMENT OF THE COUNTRY ECONOMY SILENCE ANYONE WILLING TO STOP THEM BY A MACHINERY THAT LATER MAKE AN ATTEMPT TO EXPOSE ALL THE HIDDEN AGENDA OF THE CABALS

someone has already told u to post the synopsis, another someone said u should restructure ur LOGLINE. Please follow their advice, it is for your benefit. even if u don't want to post the complete synopsis because of the alaba factor please RESTRUCTURE that logline, because if i was a potential buyer i wouldn't want to purchase the script seeing a poorly written logline even though the real script might be outstanding. Simple grammatical errors were also spotted in addition to what villageboi has mentioned.
GOODLUCK.

prof800: please RESTRUCTURE that logline, because if i was a potential buyer i wouldn't want to purchase the script seeing a poorly written logline even though the real script might be outstanding.

Very well said key point. Your script might be great, just do a bit more work on the logline, as Prof said, so you don't put off potential buyers.

thanks @ villageboi i will do just dat

logline:THE PRESIDENT SECRETLY ADOPT WAY FORWARD ARTICLE BY THE HUMAN RIGHT ACTIVIST IN OTHER TO SAVE THE COUNTRY FROM ECONOMY CRISIS. ONE OF THE GOVT OFFICIAL COLLIDE WITH AN ASASSIN COMPANY AN SILENCE THE PRESIDENT & THE HUMAN RIGHT ACTIVIST WITH UNTRACEABLE BULLET BY A MACHINERY THAT LATER MAKE AN ATTEMPT TO HACK INTO THE COMPANY DATA BASE IN OTHER TO EXPOSE THEM WHEN HE FIND OUT THEY HAVE HAND IN THE DEATH OF HIS PARENT

Fm007: thanks @ villageboi i will do just dat

You're welcome. Just google 'how to write loglines'. They do have a simple basic structure, just follow that and you'll find it's not actually that hard to write a good one.

Stil on ground!

I just noticed you and I both posted at exactly 11.10am on Apr 1 so I never saw your new logline. To be honest with you, even with this new one, I still don’t get the film. Let’s work with the information you have given us from both logline ‘trials’

Fm007: logline 1: ON THE VERGE TO SAVE THE COUNTRY FROM ECONOMY CRISIS, THE UNKNOWN CABALS BEHIND THE PRIDICAMENT OF THE COUNTRY ECONOMY SILENCE ANYONE WILLING TO STOP THEM BY A MACHINERY THAT LATER MAKE AN ATTEMPT TO EXPOSE ALL THE HIDDEN AGENDA OF THE CABALS

Fm007: logline 2: THE PRESIDENT SECRETLY ADOPT WAY FORWARD ARTICLE BY THE HUMAN RIGHT ACTIVIST IN OTHER TO SAVE THE COUNTRY FROM ECONOMY CRISIS. ONE OF THE GOVT OFFICIAL COLLIDE WITH AN ASASSIN COMPANY AN SILENCE THE PRESIDENT & THE HUMAN RIGHT ACTIVIST WITH UNTRACEABLE BULLET BY A MACHINERY THAT LATER MAKE AN ATTEMPT TO HACK INTO THE COMPANY DATA BASE IN OTHER TO EXPOSE THEM WHEN HE FIND OUT THEY HAVE HAND IN THE DEATH OF HIS PARENT

Understand that what I write here might be completely wrong, as I said – I don’t understand it. I think the following might be some key points.

1) Economic hitmen have caused wahala for country.
2) Presido starts up a ‘Way Forward’ initiative
3) A Human Rights Activist is a main character
4) The economic hitmen hire an assassin to take out the Presido & Activist

So a very basic logline (average 25 words) could be –

'A Human Rights Activist investigating the dire economic crisis the country is facing uncovers an elaborate plot to assassinate the President.'

From that you can get into more beefier loglines that follow a structure of - Who = Character/s. What = Story/Plot. How = How does it end.

But then again, as mentioned by others, what you really need is at least a synopsis. A logline wont really do anything for you at the moment. People would need to see a bigger picture of what your film is about as no one that has visted this thread has understood it yet.

Villageboi, you've said it all. The 2nd logline still sounds like arabic to me.

OP, try giving us a proper, detailed synopsis. I am an up-and-coming scriptwriter and I don't seem to understand ur logline.

sholay2011: The 2nd logline still sounds like arabic to me.

It's even more confusing than the first one. The funny thing is I actually want to know what the film is about... somehow I'm intrigued!

Oh and OP, please, please don't write bulk in CAPITALS... it's so hard to read. Remember when people read a synopsis or treatment or script they tend to skim... there is a reason scripts have a 'certain' format = easier to read.

VillageBoi: I just noticed you and I both posted at exactly 11.10am on Apr 1 so I never saw your new logline. To be honest with you, even with this new one, I still don’t get the film. Let’s work with the information you have given us from both logline ‘trials’




Understand that what I write here might be completely wrong, as I said – I don’t understand it. I think the following might be some key points.

1) Economic hitmen have caused wahala for country.
2) Presido starts up a ‘Way Forward’ initiative
3) A Human Rights Activist is a main character
4) The economic hitmen hire an assassin to take out the Presido & Activist

So a very basic logline (average 25 words) could be –

'A Human Rights Activist investigating the dire economic crisis the country is facing uncovers an elaborate plot to assassinate the President.'

From that you can get into more beefier loglines that follow a structure of - Who = Character/s. What = Story/Plot. How = How does it end.

But then again, as mentioned by others, what you really need is at least a synopsis. A logline wont really do anything for you at the moment. People would need to see a bigger picture of what your film is about as no one that has visted this thread has understood it yet.

+1

oga femi...! everybody don talk..oya show ur action.

prof800: oga femi...! everybody don talk..oya show ur action.

Exactly. Now if he would just post a 1-page synopsis.

sholy,prof an village boi na wa 4 all of una.anyway tanx 4d critixs it always make me ginger up. More on d synopsis

Synopsis: bayo aguda the activist moving motion critisizing the present govt for a change.the president adopt the activist way forward article an implement it accordingly and the citizen tends to enjoy the govt for a while till one of the govt official conspire with an underground assasin company and get rid of the president & the activist with an untraceable bullet for killing there plant business.femi the activist son suffer jail term for what he knew nothing after the assasination of his parent.the assasin company adopt him as there new machinery after his jail term but later got to know the company he's working for are the one behind the death of his parent an ready to take revenge with the last drop of his blood by exposing the company hidden agenda.find out how he achieve dat

Fm007: Synopsis: bayo aguda the activist moving motion critisizing the present govt for a change.the president adopt the activist way forward article an implement it accordingly and the citizen tends to enjoy the govt for a while till one of the govt official conspire with an underground assasin company and get rid of the president & the activist with an untraceable bullet for killing there plant business.femi the activist son suffer jail term for what he knew nothing after the assasination of his parent.the assasin company adopt him as there new machinery after his jail term but later got to know the company he's working for are the one behind the death of his parent an ready to take revenge with the last drop of his blood by exposing the company hidden agenda.find out how he achieve dat

Hmmmmm!!!! Innovative plot but I must say sincerely, the way you write militates against communication. Try working on your tenses. If it's past or present you want to use, do so throughout your write-up/script. I may be wrong...maybe you typed this synopsis under the influence of hot pounded yam.

I will come back to suggest ways you can improve on the plot.
Lol@ 'assassin company'.

sholay2011:
Hmmmmm!!!! Innovative plot but I must say sincerely, the way you write militates against communication. Try working on your tenses. If it's past or present you want to use, do so throughout your write-up/script. I may be wrong...maybe you typed this synopsis under the influence of hot pounded yam.

I will come back to suggest ways you can improve on the plot.
Lol@ 'assassin company'.

Teehee... you hit the nail on the head. I'm actually finding it becomes more intersting by the day but, as you rightly pointed out, the way he writes makes it very difficult to get into.
I also lol @ 'The untraceable bullet for killing'.

OP please confess... na jazz you dey use bekos this ya story dey sweet me more and more... and that is strange bekos normally I for don do waka-pass since! lol. This thing is hooking me in, dayum!

sholay2011:
but I must say sincerely, the way you write militates against communication. Try working on your tenses.

exactly where the conflict is. Too many grammatical errors (syntax and tenses) has marred the beauty of ur storyline. I said that in my first post.
U can get someone who to help u out though...or wait for oga sholay2011's suggestion.
fm baba, this ur story is intriguing ooo...i hope everything works out sha.

Stil on ground

Fm007: Stil on ground

Deja Vu!

@Sholay...under the influence of hot pounded yams..Lmao...it got to be!@Poster...take 3... and we still trying to understand what this movie is about.If we can't manage this how would we manage the script? For now I would advise you hire a scriptwriter to write for you if you intend selling scripts. If you really want to do your own writing then I suggest you take some serious english lessons.

Originalsly: For now I would advise you hire a scriptwriter to write for you if you intend selling scripts. If you really want to do your own writing then I suggest you take some serious english lessons.

True. Afterall there are definitely 'Novelists' that suffer from bad 'dyslexia' and almost ALL use editors. In fact I think it's the norm that EVERY novel goes through an editor.

He can even do the whole film in 'pidgin'... and that could turn out to be very interesting.

Jus readn ur post @village boi. Tanx 4d advice, do u no any editor i can easily wk wit. @shollya stil waitn 4 ur suggestion on hw to improve on ma plot

Fm007: Jus readn ur post @village boi. Tanx 4d advice, do u no any editor i can easily wk wit. @shollya stil waitn 4 ur suggestion on hw to improve on ma plot

Hi. I don't know of any script editors at the moment but I guess if you ask around you'll probaly find one.