Why is it that if a man marries and things take a downward plunge for him financially people blame the the new wife? What if the man has put his hands into a lot of things that are bringing repercusions? Or he promised a lot of girls marriage and jilted them and they decide to punish him frm their wicked hearts?

Why must the poor, innocent wife be blamed for it. Nigeria is so unfairly tough on women

Godmother: Why is it that if a man marries and things take a downward plunge for him financially people blame the the new wife? What if the man has put his hands into a lot of things that are bringing repercusions? Or he promised a lot of girls marriage and jilted them and they decide to punish him frm their wicked hearts?

Why must the poor, innocent wife be blamed for it. Nigeria is so unfairly tough on women

the same way the wife is praised if after getting married, things turn around for better for the man.
So, always ask God to make you source of joy and increase and an embodiment of goodluck(not our president o) to whoever that comes your way.
However, when it seems things are not the way it should be, instead of worrying yourself as wife as regards what pple say about you, concentrate on the Lord, always pray for a better turn-around and also be the type of person that can tolerate the hard times.
Its a phase, it shall soon pass.
Shalom!

greatgod2012:


the same way the wife is praised if after getting married, things turn around for better for the man.
So, always ask God to make you source of joy and increase and an embodiment of goodluck(not our president o) to whoever that comes your way.
However, when it seems things are not the way it should be, instead of worrying yourself as wife as regards what pple say about you, concentrate on the Lord, always pray for a better turn-around and also be the type of person that can tolerate the hard times.
Its a phase, it shall soon pass.
Shalom!

Ma, are you a 'pastress'? Nice response btw.

greatgod2012:


the same way the wife is praised if after getting married, things turn around for better for the man.
So, always ask God to make you source of joy and increase and an embodiment of goodluck(not our president o) to whoever that comes your way.
However, when it seems things are not the way it should be, instead of worrying yourself as wife as regards what pple say about you, concentrate on the Lord, always pray for a better turn-around and also be the type of person that can tolerate the hard times.
Its a phase, it shall soon pass.
Shalom!

Excellent post madam
Immediately my ex left I got my super dream job after I had failed at three interviews (shell, moobil x 2ce)
Prevoously

Though I'm not saying na she be the winchi o

It is a function of the very religious society we live in ,the need to have someone else to blame for your own failures or inadequacies and in the Nigerian scene of this case,the wife is the usual suspect.
Its a very shallow way of reasoning that derails one from browsing useful solutions to the problem at hand.
If you are with someone who is reasonable and sound in judgement,he would look beyond those unfounded opinions and blame games and find what is to his own advantage in all that happens to him.

biolabee:

Excellent post madam
Immediately my ex left I got my super dream job after I had failed at three interviews (shell, moobil x 2ce)
Prevoously

Though I'm not saying na she be the winchi o

...so what exactly are you saying?

.

.

slimyem: ...so what exactly are you saying?

Just narrating my own experience

Of cos I know there is no link in the two and it should be coincidental

But the truth is that certain people once they move off your paths, things start moving in a new direction for some people
Ish

As Slimyem said, we need to live and take responsibility for our actions. You cannot live for life for 20+ years and hing your breakthrough on the fact that someone strolled into it neither can you blame that person for it. You should look at the mirror and blame/thank the way you have conducted yourself in the past

Mynd_44: As Slimyem said, we need to live and take responsibility for our actions. You cannot live for life for 20+ years and hing your breakthrough on the fact that someone strolled into it neither can you blame that person for it. You should look at the mirror and blame/thank the way you have conducted yourself in the past

True but when all said and done
People influence our decisions
Amy winehouse though she was a alcohol junkie had her issues compounded when she met blake fielder

The reality is that certain people are bad karma though the consequences of our (in)actions and decisions to keep constructive or destructuve people around us are our own to bear

biolabee:

True but when all said and done
People influence our decisions
Amy winehouse though she was a alcohol junkie had her issues compounded when she met blake fielder

The reality is that certain people are bad karma though the consequences of our (in)actions and decisions to keep constructive or destructuve people around us are our own to bear

True that people affect your decision but the bottom line is that it remains your decision and you chose to allow them. You could have done something else but you did not. The fault starts and stops at your door

^^
my brother, you and slimyem are absolutely right, everyone should be responsible for their actions and decisions. However, some things are just too coincident to be separated or ignored, that is why we need to pray to the good Lord to always make us goodluck to everyone we come accross.
For example, two of my husband's aunties use to call me......"iyawo mi oloriire", just because of good turn-around that happened to my hubby after we got married, the same way they could have called me "iyawo elese osi meji", if things went bad for him, even though i might not be instrumental to either his good fortune or his backwardness, its the coincidence of the whole thing that makes people think in that direction, yes, its bad to think that way, but, we are all humans, and human being will always be human being.

@op, it could happen the other way round o, its not only peculiar to wives, if you are doing very well before you married your hubby, and all of a sudden, things turn sour, pple will say that, that your husband has brught his badluck to your life, especially your folks, so, dont be bias, and be yourself, if what you posted is what is happening to you, take heart, and believe that, its a phase and it will soon pass, you can even call your spouse and encourage him, tell him that evryone has his/her/their trying time and this is yours and that you believe that all will soon be well.
May God help us all.

Mynd_44:
True that people affect your decision but the bottom line is that it remains your decision and you chose to allow them. You could have done something else but you did not. The fault starts and stops at your door

Ok sir

greatgod2012: ^^
my brother, you and slimyem are absolutely right, everyone should be responsible for their actions and decisions. However, some things are just too coincident to be separated or ignored, that is why we need to pray to the good Lord to always make us goodluck to everyone we come accross.
For example, two of my husband's aunties use to call me......"iyawo mi oloriire", just because of good turn-around that happened to my hubby after we got married, the same way they could have called me "iyawo elese osi meji", if things went bad for him, even though i might not be instrumental to either his good fortune or his backwardness, its the coincidence of the whole thing that makes people think in that direction, yes, its bad to think that way, but, we are all humans, and human being will always be human being.

@op, it could happen the other way round o, its not only peculiar to wives, if you are doing very well before you married your hubby, and all of a sudden, things turn sour, pple will say that, that your husband has brught his badluck to your life, especially your folks, so, dont be bias, and be yourself, if what you posted is what is happening to you, take heart, and believe that, its a phase and it will soon pass, you can even call your spouse and encourage him, tell him that evryone has his/her/their trying time and this is yours and that you believe that all will soon be well.
May God help us all.

Amen Oooo

greatgod2012: ^^
my brother, you and slimyem are absolutely right, everyone should be responsible for their actions and decisions. However, some things are just too coincident to be separated or ignored, that is why we need to pray to the good Lord to always make us goodluck to everyone we come accross.
For example, two of my husband's aunties use to call me......"iyawo mi oloriire", just because of good turn-around that happened to my hubby after we got married, the same way they could have called me "iyawo elese osi meji", if things went bad for him, even though i might not be instrumental to either his good fortune or his backwardness, its the coincidence of the whole thing that makes people think in that direction, yes, its bad to think that way, but, we are all humans, and human being will always be human being.

@op, it could happen the other way round o, its not only peculiar to wives, if you are doing very well before you married your hubby, and all of a sudden, things turn sour, pple will say that, that your husband has brught his badluck to your life, especially your folks, so, dont be bias, and be yourself, if what you posted is what is happening to you, take heart, and believe that, its a phase and it will soon pass, you can even call your spouse and encourage him, tell him that evryone has his/her/their trying time and this is yours and that you believe that all will soon be well.
May God help us all.

Amen Oooo
And that is what the topic is about

There is a concept called destiny
When God wanted to bless Abram finally he let Lot find his way
Jesus nEeded Simon Peter to fulfil his destiny

Moses needed Aron to deliver the jews and so on and so forth

However if na rationalistic stuff una wan yarn
Carry Go

biolabee:

Amen Oooo
And that is what the topic is about

There is a concept called destiny
When God wanted to bless Abram finally he let Lot find his way
Jesus nEeded Simon Peter to fulfil his destiny

Moses needed Aron to deliver the jews and so on and so forth

However if na rationalistic stuff una wan yarn
Carry Go

Well it should be the man to blame for his inability to find the one that best fits his destiny.

Apparently, yu guys missed the memo - It's always the lady's fault o

If the marriage is fruitless, it's her fault
If the guy's got roving eyes/ fingers - it's her fault as she most likely let herself go or wasn't prayerful enuf
If the guy dumps her after a long courtship - she was either too cheap or desperate or God knows what
If she gets played by some married guy - she should have been smarter
If she gets raped - she was most likely seductively dressed or gave come hither looks
If she has inlaw issues - she has personality issues or is a plain ol alakowe

Yet to see a scenario where it's not the female's fault. IT IS THE WIFE'S FAULT

Gloriagee: Apparently, yu guys missed the memo - It's always the lady's fault o

If the marriage is fruitless, it's her fault
If the guy's got roving eyes/ fingers - it's her fault as she most likely let herself go or wasn't prayerful enuf
If the guy dumps her after a long courtship - she was either too cheap or desperate or God knows what
If she gets played by some married guy - she should have been smarter
If she gets raped - she was most likely seductively dressed or gave come hither looks
If she has inlaw issues - she has personality issues or is a plain ol alakowe

Yet to see a scenario where it's not the female's fault. IT IS THE WIFE'S FAULT

You are tragically right
People should take responsibility for their actions and consequences

Yeah, so guys should stop blaming females for their moments of weakness. Everyone has one. Proper remedial action should be accepting one has goofed, picking oneself up n moving on for heaven's sake. Don't just spend another century blaming the weaker sex.

biolabee:

You are tragically right
People should take responsibility for their actions and consequences

Some people are packaged with badluck,they might not be witches nor wizards.Someone once said'if you have two witch following us,we inherit another 2 by marital contact, making them four'.that's why the wife should be more prayerful 'cos if anything goes wrong,all fingers will point at her even if it's not her fault.Madam ,permit me to borrow your words.May God help us all.

^^^
Bullcrap

greatgod2012: ^^
@op, it could happen the other way round o, its not only peculiar to wives, if you are doing very well before you married your hubby, and all of a sudden, things turn sour, pple will say that, that your husband has brught his badluck to your life, especially your folks,

This seldom happens.The wife spiralling down is no big deal usually compared to the husband.Its a chauvaunistic reaction.

slimyem: This seldom happens.The wife spiralling down is no big deal usually compared to the husband.Its a chauvaunistic reaction.

True

Everyone knows that marriage comes with a lot of financial responsibilities. Any man who doesn't handle them well will only find himself if big trouble. Blaming the wife is plain madness.


So also wives taking credit for their husband's success after marriage needs to have their heads examined. Could be that the man is now viewed as responsible and given more responsibilitiesn even promotion, at work. I know cos it happened to my husband. If he wasn't married, nobody would have considered him for that appointment.

It's true that one's marital status has a huge influence in his work - directly or indirectly. But blaming (or giving credit to) the spouse is the reason why Nigerians are in this much trouble. We have refused to tell ourselves the truth!

slimyem: It is a function of the very religious society we live in ,the need to have someone else to blame for your own failures or inadequacies and in the Nigerian scene of this case,the wife is the usual suspect.
Its a very shallow way of reasoning that derails one from browsing useful solutions to the problem at hand.
If you are with someone who is reasonable and sound in judgement,he would look beyond those unfounded opinions and blame games and find what is to his own advantage in all that happens to him.

why dnt u forget wot u knw, and think straight without d hate on religion. It is these types of negligence dt makes so many people fall into a wrong issue.
The worst part is:
1. Wen things turn are rosy, they dnt need God or religion
2. Wen things are not, the will tell u wot is God looking? There is no God

The truth is:
1. People perish from lack of knowledge: HOSEA 4:6

2. If u think u're wise, get undstnding. It will protect u. PROVERBS 4:5-7

3. And JAMES 1:5 urges u to ask God for wisdom if u ask it. He give u in abundance.

And lastly: there is a disclaimer in d bible, and that is point 1. HOSEA 4:6
if u perish, it means u refused to seek knowledge!

Some people jes won't connect spiritually. If u overlook it and fall into d wrong hands, blame no one.

slimyem: It is a function of the very religious society we live in ,the need to have someone else to blame for your own failures or inadequacies and in the Nigerian scene of this case,the wife is the usual suspect.
Its a very shallow way of reasoning that derails one from browsing useful solutions to the problem at hand.
If you are with someone who is reasonable and sound in judgement,he would look beyond those unfounded opinions and blame games and find what is to his own advantage in all that happens to him.

why dnt u forget wot u knw, and think straight without d hate on religion. It is these types of negligence dt makes so many people fall into a wrong issue.
The worst part is:
1. Wen things turn are rosy, they dnt need God or religion
2. Wen things are not, the will tell u wot is God looking? There is no God

The truth is:
1. People perish from lack of knowledge: HOSEA 4:6

2. If u think u're wise, get undstnding. It will protect u. PROVERBS 4:5-7

3. And JAMES 1:5 urges u to ask God for wisdom if u ask it. He give u in abundance.

And lastly: there is a disclaimer in d bible, and that is point 1. HOSEA 4:6
if u perish, it means u refused to seek knowledge!

Some people jes won't connect spiritually. If u overlook it and fall into d wrong hands, blame no one.

^what are you on about and what's with all the bible quotes?
How can you equate been logical to hating on religion?
I'm only hating on unnecessary bias and unfair judgement.I'm sorry if you don't get my point.
I don't get yours either

slimyem: It is a function of the very religious society we live in ,the need to have someone else to blame for your own failures or inadequacies and in the Nigerian scene of this case,the wife is the usual suspect.
Its a very shallow way of reasoning that derails one from browsing useful solutions to the problem at hand.
If you are with someone who is reaso
nable and sound in judgement,he would look beyond those unfounded opinions and blame games and find what is to his own advantage in all that happens to him.

You ate so on point slim.

slimyem: This seldom happens.The wife spiralling down is no big deal usually compared to the husband.Its a chauvaunistic reaction.

You are right there.
I dont know when the -alpha male approach will leave our sysyem.

Who make we come blame

dayokanu: Who make we come blame

If there is anyone to be blamed for your failures, it is you