I lost my parent years back I was in my teens then we are 8 in my family and I am the 2nd child with the help of members of the families I struggled to acquire School Cert. After which I enrolled at a roadside typing school.

I got a job as a typist in one Engineering coy the M.D of the coy had interest in my case and stepped in to assist me further my education (part-time) while I still worked for him. After some years precisely my 2nd year in university one thing led to another and we started going out as at then he had 2 wives yet I could not resist him.

He made me a woman and what I am today. I got pregnant after my service year and I decided to have the baby [b]though there was serious pressure from my family not to go ahead and even from his wives and families as well but we were unstoppable because we were determined.

But today I no longer feel comfortable having him around me as my …… whatever I have 2 children for him a boy and a girl I have a good job I cant remember the last time I asked him for anything because I am comfortable neither my family nor his gave their consent to the union I don’t know what to do. How do I go ahead I have guilt in my mind especially when I look at the whole situation. He still comes around once in a week to see the children and I.

He has now opened a new in branch in Lagos and he wants me to relocate to Lagos to manage the business for him (we live in Abuja) this I feel reluctant doing I work as an accountant in a reputable organisation ………. I have talked with him and he told me to decide on what I want. I desire to move ahead and detach myself from this bond but I don’t know how to go about it.[/b] Please help me out.

Maybe you believed you were paying him for the good he did for you. If you are no longer comfortable in the adultery you entangled yourself in, why not call off the relationship and move ahead with your life?

first and fore most where u legally maried?

If No is your answer, i think u still have your life , u can call it a quit and move on with life,
if yes, i guess u have to start all this paper work if you are really not interested in the marriage anymore.

But the most important thing his this, biblically he his not your husband.

the first wife he has is the legitimate wife.


so its a hard situation, but your best bet is to quit if you no longer intersted than enduring

meyome:

After some years precisely my 2nd year in university one thing led to another and we started going out as at then he had 2 wives yet I could not resist him.

He made me a woman and what I am today. I got pregnant after my service year and I decided to have the baby though there was serious pressure from my family not to go ahead and even from his wives and families as well but we were unstoppable because we were determined.

To me I would say you knew what you wanted and went for it. I would also want to think it's been so far so good. So tell us what went wrong or what your husband has done to you to make you feel this way now. You can't just wake up one day and start feeling like this - there has to be more to it.

There's somethin about married men that I'm yet to understand.

Discuss the issue with him and see how u'll resolve it. I really don't know what to say to u after having 2 kids with him

Situations!!!

@Poster

I have a sense that your not telling us the whole story here. You knew the man was married before you had babies for him and now your fed up? Deal with it sweetheart, you made your bed and now your sleeping in it !!! IT DRIVES ME TO THE WALL WHEN WOMEN ACTS LIKE THEY WERE BLINDFOLDED WHEN THEY GET INVOLVED WITH A MAN. THEY SEE THE BOLD SIGNS AND LETTERS ON THE WALL AND YET THEY JUMP ON HIS DI CK. LATER THEM GO START CRYING HOLYFIRE!!

Hmmmmm, women,women, women, they all think same way.

He is not your husband whom you can give up your work for. Afterall, he is a cheat thats why he cheated on his wife with you and will do the same again and again with many others. You say you have a good job, dont give it up for him.

He made me a woman and what I am today.

No your hardwork

though there was serious pressure from my family not to go ahead and even from his wives and families as well but we were unstoppable because we were determined

Your ears and eyes were closed

But today I no longer feel comfortable having him around me as my ……

He is old . . . and you have gotten what you want

I don’t know what to do

you should know better . . .smart lady , .you have gain the money and loss your sense


I

desire to move ahead and detach myself from this bond but I don’t know how to go about it. Please help me out.

so you have used and dumped the old poor man

@ Post

Sorry to hear about all that u are going through all I can say is exercise

just a little more Patience, hopefully things will turn around for the better,

They say whatever is going to be good, sometimes starts off really bad.

Best wishes.

no, you sort yourself out. You walked in with eyes wide open. Goodluck.

Why not find time to arrange a date/weekend break for the two of you, a kind of make or break holiday where you would be able to have a heart to heart with each other. And then from there you can make up your mind about whether you are really ready to walk from the union or stay to make things work.

I still just want to know why you are now unhappy? whats up?

Stolen meat tastes good.
Did I read you somewhere that both of you were determined?
You're now having double-thoughts after years of adultery with your benefactor justified by your need to improve your standard of life.
I'm glad that you still have a conscience.
Too little too late. His and your children are littered before you. An indelible memorial to your past choices.

But you can choose between continuing with your adulterous relationship and reconciling with God and nature_{by acting right for the first time in your life.}
If your children become victims of your past sins by suffering the same fate as the legitimate wives of this same man in their future respective marriages, don't become heart-broken 'cause it may happen right before your eyes.
And you will have yourself to blame. A resounding legacy to your past choices.

I wish you Good Luck.

@ poster
what are you going on about? you made your wicked choice in the past to suit yourself so moan about the situation now.?
see her talking about"i don't ask him for anything cos i can take care of myself",no be God! don't be deceived any guy after you now is only there for the money.stay with the old git(cos i am sure you just realised he is too old for you abi)? for the sake of the children. ( you ungrateful thing)

//

i am sorry, ammo say it how i see it.
1. You weren't feeling guilty when he was spending his money on you and you were being trained to make you as comfortable as you are today? but now that you "cat remember the last time you asked him for anything, cos you are comfy" all of a sudden, Mr guilt has visited you and you have allowed him to tell you some good story, where were Mr Guilt when you needed the MD then, where were Mr. Guilt when the wives of the MD and the kids begged you to leave dem papa alone?

2. i am so glad to hear that you made it somewhere in life, however, you dont owe the man nothing cos he knows what he was doing, he took advantage of the situation you were in, he gave you a cold water and expected you to cool his dikc, which you have done.

Now it is time for you to love the kids, if you wanna be with the man, be with him, but remember, to be with him only out of love and not out of pity.
In all you do, remember the kids as well and make sure that the kids are well taken cared of in the will of the MD.
If MD wanna relocate you to Lagos, not a bad idea at all, at least now you too can MD someone, and pray to God that it will be a handsome bobo

@ topic

geez.

the situations people find or get themselves in!


Not my portion in Jesus name.



poster

why not settle by building a house or finding some other way to sustain yourself, then cut loose from the guy.

Na wa for naija poverty where women will be jumping over themselves in this day and age to become someone's multiple wife.

tpiah:

@ topic

geez.

the situations people find or get themselves in!


Not my portion in Jesus name.



poster

why not settle by building a house or finding some other way to sustain yourself, then cut loose from the guy.

Na wa for naija poverty where women will be jumping over themselves in this day and age to become someone's multiple wife.

Second wifeship will never stop, as long as God still make women and men.

Fhemmmy:

Second wifeship will never stop, as long as God still make women and men.

mainly in the underdeveloped world, you mean. Though Africans do export polygamy to other places.

tpiah:

mainly in the underdeveloped world, you mean. Though Africans do export polygamy to other places.

There is hardly any difference btw a man that has 2 wives living under same roof and a man that had a wife and have a mistress 2 blocks from home.
Which is what most developed world are doing.

Fhemmmy:

There is hardly any difference btw a man that has 2 wives living under same roof and a man that had a wife and have a mistress 2 blocks from home.
Which is what most developed world are doing.

if you're not an educated/enlightened woman, you may not know the difference.

tpiah:

if you're not an educated/enlightened woman, you may not know the difference.

So you mean to tell me there is a glory in one and the other is bad?
My guy, none is better.
The man leaves the woman with emotional scars regardless of how you look at it or disect it.
Or it is lack of education that made Abiola has more than one?

Fhemmmy:

So you mean to tell me there is a glory in one and the other is bad?
My guy, none is better.
The man leaves the woman with emotional scars regardless of how you look at it or disect it.
Or it is lack of education that made Abiola has more than one?

religion and culture?

and no, if you're not an enlightened woman, you wont know there's a difference. Being educated doesnt automatically make someone enlightened.

tpiah:

religion and culture?

and no, if you're not an enlightened woman, you wont know there's a difference.

hahahahahaha.
regardless of the religion and culture, none is better.
but wont wanna hijack the thread.

Fhemmmy:


hahahahahaha.
regardless of the religion and culture, none is better.
but wont wanna hijack the thread.

Do you mind letting women say which one they find better?

You yourself- would you prefer living in the same house with other husbands of your wife, or being one of the outside boyfriends.

Morality aside, which one is more convenient for the woman? Think crabs in a barrel.

tpiah:


Do you mind letting women say which one they find better?

You yourself- would you prefer living in the same house with other husbands of your wife, or being one of the outside boyfriends.

Morality aside, which one is more convenient for the woman? Think crabs in a barrel.

cheiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.
The woman out there will always be better for the man, cos lesser wahala for the man to deal with at home, and they say what the woman dont know wont hurt her, but that was before oh, cos now even the thot of it alone kills the woman.
Anyhow, God will help us all.
I just cant stand the thot of my woman shagging oh.

Fhemmmy:

cheiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.
The woman out there will always be better for the man, cos lesser wahala for the man to deal with at home, and they say what the woman dont know wont hurt her, but that was before oh, cos now even the thot of it alone kills the woman.
Anyhow, God will help us all.
I just cant stand the thot of my woman shagging oh.

no, I meant should the woman keep her multiple husbands all in one house or would it be more convenient for her to have them living separately. With only one official husband.

We're looking at the woman's viewpoint now, not the man's.

A man's pride will rather allow him to settle for the one where the ladies will reside separately, and he can be going to do his thang

Fhemmmy:

A man's pride will rather allow him to settle for the one where the ladies will reside separately, and he can be going to do his thang

you keep dodging the question.



Is this what you mean:

Fhemmmy:

A man's pride will rather allow him to settle for the one where the other husbands will reside separately, and he can be going to do his thang[b] privately[/b]

tpiah:

@ topic

geez.

the situations people find or get themselves in!


Not my portion in Jesus name.



poster

why not settle by building a house or finding some other way to sustain yourself, then cut loose from the guy.

Na wa for naija poverty where women will be jumping over themselves in this day and age to become someone's multiple wife.

make she carry her cross
someone else will sleep with her husband if she eventually get married
u can't escape it,so be ready.

tpiah:

Is this what you mean:

You read my mind.