Logicboy03: Muskeeto, gaddem, you are my homie......

Epic story. I laughed for 2 minutes straight.

The christians will remember when we kept telling them that the bible is not for kids. It could be child abuse

Da-ny-ell:
Expecting to see some Christian apologists jump on this story and devour it like the bear devoured those poor children.
Oya, apologists, over to you!

musKeeto:

Lol, na Pastor Kun inspire me.. Hit and run things..
Though I don't expect any Christian to comment... Except for trolling purposes

musKeeto:

Too hot.....


@lb: btw, if you do not understand why the bear had to eat those youths, or why kids should be killed for disrespecting their parents, if you can't understand this.. You don't know what LOVE is .....

#theThingsIreadOnNl

Ihedinobi:

lol....these atheists again.....

First off, the pagan in the story already hates christianity and was looking for opportunity to spite the God fearing christian neighbours.

As for the bible passages, he and his son clearly misquoted the bible and read it to the children without explaining the context. You see, those youths that abused the prophet could have been dangerous and the Lord was protecting his anointed.

You see, God loves his anointed. Something you atheists can not understand.

Image123: amusing story, what exactly do you want to be said?

Image123: amusing story, what exactly do you want to be said?

musKeeto:
Though I don't expect any Christian to comment... Except for trolling purposes

musKeeto: My next door neighbors, who are Christians, keep calling me Lucifermore instead of Philmore, all because of an incident that occurred awhile ago. You see , the hairs on top of my head refused to grow ,so I have a bald-head. Whenever the neighbors two little brats {I mean children} come over to my house to play with my son , they always tease my son saying, "Your dad has a bald-head! Your dad has a bald head!" My son always reply " My father is an African King" {I am so proud of this little boy}

Anyway; one night my, holy-ghost filled, neighbors asked me to baby sit their children for them, I gladly agreed. They made me promise them not to talk about my "Pagan views" in front of their kids. I swore to them in the name of Jesus that I will not mention a word of my pagan views; as a matter of fact I will only read the bible to them.

So when the 2 bible huggers left, I gather the kids around along with my son for a reading of the bible. I said to my son, "Now you have a chance you answer these little *%$*#@ for calling your very handsome dad bald-head. Please turn to the bible verse that we couldn't wait to read to these little %$#**& and read it so they could hear what will happen to them the next time that they call your very gorgeous father, bald head"

So my son laughed and gleefully turned the bible to: 2 Kings 2: 23-24. And read aloud>>

“And he {Jehovah’s prophet Elisha } went up to Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said to him, Go up, you bald head; go up, you bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD {God Jehovah}. And there came two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them..

The little brats started to weep at the top of their voices, and my son read it again so they could get the point. Then my son quickly turned the bible to Exodus 21:17 and read it to them.

"He that curses his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death."{the kid were guilty of this sin}--

Again my son turned to: Exodus 21:15 and read:

He that hit his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death.{They were also guilty of this sin}

The kids were so scared {one peed his pants} they went straight to sleep {at 8. P.M. on a Saturday, which was unheard of for these two little $#@#@#@!}

When their parent returned they were surprised that the children were both asleep, while my son and I were up eating junk food and playing video games. They asked me how did I managed to accomplish such an amazing feat I told them that my son read the bible to them and they went straight to bed. "I guess god works in mysterious ways" I told them.

The next morning after the children told them what happen the pervious night, ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE {HA HA HA HA}: From that day on the parents call my Lucifermore and their children call my "SIR" or "MR. CARTER" never a mention about my bald head again.

I offered to make-peace with my neighbors by babysitting the kids again, but my holy ghost filled Christian neighbors both told me to go FU*K myself. I said what about love thy neighbor; & forgiveness they told me the "F" word again.

did I do anything wrong? Was I wrong to plot with my son to read the bible to these children? I was not the one who told those kids that god will send bears to eat them if they ever teased this handsome African by calling him a baldhead; it was not I who told them that their parent will kill them if they misbehaved. DON'T BLAME ME, BLAME GOD!


@Philmore Carter

UyiIredia: I just read the story when the OP was created.

musKeeto:
So what lessons do you take as a born again again again Christian from this story?

UyiIredia: That it's very easy to demonize the Bible if one is looking at it from the OT strictly and not the whole package. While killing cursing kids is no fun remember that cursing kids may become killing kids (it occurs) and looking for trouble is silly (this applies to the kids who cursed Elisha).