Here is a list of 33 funny exam answers. Really hilarious!!! I can not vouch for
whether these are authentic answers to
the English GCSE exam, but regardless,
they are funny. Enjoy!
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by
mummies and they all wrote in
hydraulics.They lived in the Sarah
Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The
climate of the Sarah is such that the
inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
2. The Bible is full of interesting
caricatures. In the first book of the
Bible,Guinessis, Adam and Eve were
created from an apple tree. One of their
children,Cain, asked, “Am I my brother’s
son?”
3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the
Red Sea, where they made unleavened
bread which is bread made without any
ingredients. Moses went up on Mount
Cyanide to get the ten commandments.
He died before he ever reached Canada.
4. Solomom had three hundred wives
and seven hundred porcupines.
5. The Greeks were a highly sculptured
people, and without them we wouldn’t
have history. The Greeks also had
myths. A myth is a female moth.
6. Actually, Homer was not written by
Homer but by another man of that
name.
7. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher
who went around giving people advice.
They killed him. Socrates died from an
overdose of wedlock. After his death,
his career suffered a dramatic decline.
8. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran
races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and
threw the java.
9. Eventually, the Romans conquered
the Greeks. History calls people Romans
because they never stayed in one place
for very long.
10. Julius Caesar extinguished himself
on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of
March murdered him because they
thought he was going to be made king.
Dying, he gasped out: “Tee hee, Brutus.”
11. Nero was a cruel tyranny who
would torture his subjects by playing
the fiddle to them.
12. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and
was cannonized by Bernard Shaw.
Finally Magna Carta provided that no
man should be hanged twice for the
same offense.
13. In midevil times most people were
alliterate. The greatest writer of the
futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote
many poems and verses and also wrote
literature.
14. Another story was William Tell,
who shot an arrow through an apple
while standing on his son’s head.
15. Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin
Queen.” As a queen she was a success.
When she exposed herself before her
troops they all shouted “hurrah.”
16. It was an age of great inventions
and discoveries. Gutenberg invented
removable type and the Bible. Another
important invention was the circulation
of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a
historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir
Francis Drake circumcised the world
with a 100 foot clipper.
17. The greatest writer of the
Renaissance was William Shakespeare.
He was born in the year 1564,
supposedly on his birthday. He never
made much money and is famous only
because of his plays. He wrote tragedies,comedies, and
hysterectomies, all in Islamic
pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an
example of a heroic couplet. Romeo’s
last wish was to be laid by Juliet.
18. Writing at the same time as
Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He
wrote Donkey Hote. The next great
author was John Milton. Milton wrote
Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he
wrote Paradise Regained.
19. During the Renaissance America
began. Christopher Columbus was a
great navigator who discovered
America while cursing about the
Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina,
the Pinta, and the Santa Fe.
20. Later, the Pilgrims crossed the
ocean, and this was called Pilgrim’s
Progress. The winter of 1620 was a
hard one for the settlers. Many people
died and many babies were born.
Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.
21. One of the causes of the
Revolutionary War was the English put
tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists
would send their parcels through the
post without stamps. Finally the
colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the
original 13 states formed the Contented
Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin,
and Benjamin Franklin were two
singers of the Declaration of
Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats
backwards and declared, “A horse
divided against itself cannot stand.”.
Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
22. Soon the Constitution of the United
States was adopted to secure domestic
hostility. Under the constitution the
people enjoyed the right to keep bare
arms.
23. Abraham Lincoln became America’s
greatest Precedent. Lincoln’s mother
died in infancy, and he was born in a
log cabin which he built with his own
hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the
slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14,
1865, Lincoln went to the theater and
got shot in his seat by one of the actors
in a moving picture show. The believed
assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a
supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booth’s career.
24. Meanwhile in Europe, the
enlightenment was a reasonable time.
Voltaire invented electricity and also
wrote a book called Candy.
25. Gravity was invented by Issac
Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the
autumn when the apples are falling off
the trees.
26. Johann Bach wrote a great many
musical compositions and had a large
number of children. In between he
practiced on an old spinster which he
kept up in his attic. Bach died from
1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so
was Handel. Handel was half German
half Italian and half English. He was
very large.
27. Beethoven wrote music even
though he was deaf. He was so deaf he
wrote loud music. He took long walks
in the forest even when everyone was
calling for him. Beethoven expired in
1827 and later died for this.
28. The French Revolution was
accomplished before it happened and
catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon
wanted an heir to inherit his power, but
since Josephine was a baroness, she
couldn’t have any children.
29. The sun never set on the British
Empire because the British Empire is In
the East and the sun sets in the West.
30. Queen Victoria was the longest
queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years.
She was a moral woman who practiced
virtue. Her death was the final event
which ended her reign.
31. The nineteenth century was a time
of a great many thoughts and
inventions. People stopped reproducing
by hand and started reproducing by
machine. The invention of the
steamboat caused a network of river to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented
the McCormick raper, which did the
work of a hundred men.
32. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for
rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist
who wrote the Organ of the Species.
Madman Curie discovered radio. And
Karl Marx became one of the Marx
brothers.
33. The First World War, caused by the
assignation of the Arch-Duck by an
anahist, ushered in a new error in the
anals of human history.

Dude, what the hell is this? Did u actually laff tu this? If yes, then u av real issues n u dnt even know.

nekaa: Dude, what the hell is this? Did u actually laff tu this? If yes, then u av real issues n u dnt even know.

you probably have facial nerve palsy and that's why u can't laugh to these answers.

**Yawn**
Too dry, get a new hobby. Just wasted mb openin this...

nekaa: Dude, what the hell is this? Did u actually laff tu this? If yes, then u av real issues n u dnt even know.

Mark this user! She's a slowpoke. This write-up is funny as phork! I love the entire piece.

'...he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very large'

Lol

'The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.'

Giftdavids: **Yawn**
Too dry, get a new hobby. Just wasted mb openin this...

@mb abi.Get a new phone cos chronic poverty can retard ur chances of happiness

@op Some people can't get the joke behind these answers since they do not have an idea of the original story. These stories are as funny as they can be. *Thumbs up*

Money aint ma problem dude!!!

justirich:
@mb abi.Get a new phone cos chronic poverty can retard ur chances of happiness

Giftdavids: Money aint ma problem dude!!!

humour is