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L-w-k-m-d - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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L-w-k-m-d by EnOuGh90(m): 12:40pm On Jun 06, 2013
During My school Days I Observed That:
(1)Since José Mourinho got sacked by Chelsea in 2007.
Chelsea have won 7 trophies and Arsenal have won 0."
(2)When you scream God's name during sex, I wonder if
you're trying to remind Him to punish u later."
(3)The day a Ghost got involved in an accident was the
day i stopped watching Nollywood."
(4)What's the relationship between Rain & PHCN in
Nigeria? It seems almost like an automatic switch
thing..
(5)Someone walks up to u drinking Ice-Cream and tells
u to help him with T-fare cos he's Stranded..pls shoot
Him!"
(6)He did the Exam so well that He Took the Answer
Scripts Home to show His Room-mates"
(7) That awkward moment when you type"Trophyless ­­"
on Google and the result shows"Arsenal""
(coolJust put currency sign in front of your pin and igbo
girls would add you. $2737A4A7"
(9) sweat from some girls' armpits will turn blue litmus
paper red."
(10)If your Girlfriend refuses to accept the Bible &
anointing oil or Qu'ran as Vals gift, free her, na WITCH"
(11)They say love is more important than money. Pls
try paying a lagos conductor with a hug?"
(12)In a Nigerian Home...If your friend forgets to greet
your parents, that's the end of that friendship.if you
agree"
(13)Women are like police, they might have all the
evidence in the world but they still want a confession!"
(14)People That Smoke Weed Before Going To Church.
You Wanna Compete With The Most High?"
(15)In a Naija Home, ur parents will call u frm ur room
to pick up something that is sitting literally 2inches
away from them.
(16)If God's Plan For You is BROWN TEETH, Even IRON
SPONGE Cannot Change It!"
(17)If 80k brazilian hair couldn't get you a good
husband, why not use it to pay a counselor to talk good
sense into your life"
(18) Ushers sef.. Dey won't allow one sleep comfortably
during service.. Thought the house of God is also my
father's house?"
(19)The hot girl next to me in class just fell asleep.
Maybe I should fall asleep too..so I can tell my friends I
slept wit her?"
(20)WHITE KID: "Shut Up Dad"!!; * Dad shuts up* DAD-
*Shut too* 9JA KID: "Pale, Shut up abeg"*wakes
up*....where am i?....DOCTOR: Oloshi..Igbobi Hospital"
(21)A slap is a manual override mechanism used to
rectify a person acting like a fool.....no one is above a
manual reset."
(22)Some Igbo people with their names tho, how can
you be naming identical twins"Praise and Worship"?"
(23)U opend Ur legs & he bought U BOLD 5, U opend 4
anoda guy & he paid for Ur BIS. Pls open 4 me too,
lemme buy U d Charger."
(24)And So, I was watching a yoruba movie...and this
Guy shot himself in the head THRICE...Awon
Oloriburuku!!"
(25)Someone Blocked His Dad on facebook, the Dad
also Blocked Him from entering the House
(26)One rapper just said "My blood is so full, call me
'bloody fool'".......Why lord?
(27) U can't recite a Bible Passage! but u can mention
68 Hotels & Clubs in Lagos without thinking? My Sista,
ur life is blinkin on a low ba3!"
(28)Marrying a lady whose cooking skills can only be
compared to Victor IKPEBA's English issuicide."
(29)All women MUST get married! No man should go
unpunished!"
(30)Its only a Yoruba Father that Prices SchoolFees!"
(31) You try to call your GF from a public call centre on
her street, and Her number appearsas 'Sweet Heart'
GOOD DAY PALS

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