I welcome you all to my church, I want you let you people know that this is my church and the name is

JESUS pursue satan ministries.

I am looking for member to fill some post. Like the assistant pastor(must be chosen by me the pastor), choir, usher, and any other post. My first preaching will come up this sunday and please don't be late to church,

Close you eye and let me pray for all of you,

Father Lord. Remove the front teeth of every secret enemies of the person reading this message that by their smile he/she shall know them in Jesus name(Amen)

Oh Lord bless whosever is reading this massage that refuses to close his/her as i am praying, and that is smile before i even say amen. Thank you father because i know you have answer me in Jesus name,

So indicate if you are one of my member and the position you wish to hold.
GOd bless you

Na wah oooo
People no even dey fear God again.
Don't bother about people filing those your vacancies,you can have them all to yourself.

What a pity

no ooooooooooooooooooooooo

no way .

guy , i go do ya treasurer.

mak me ya offering collector

lmao


ill be your er err choir conductor

Well i could be the church auditor u know,

@afribabe

You are the church auditor

@clemcykul
You are the choir director

@kayo
you are the offering collector
@segun
You are the treasurer

@dreday

You are the usher

Make you sure come early to church on sunday

starts song while clappn *praise da rod ohh sing o ohh sing o praise da rod*

hallejahhhhhhhhhhhh

Amen

You are a vely vely good choir mistress. Did you study raw in school, I will give you thlee crap

preeze krap vely wellu for me

preeze make sure u come eary to church on sunday

chey, wetin is happen hia why all the hurrabarroo in ze house of ze rod?? i thank ze rod say i no forrow all of ina wey zey zo diz thing. my hands is cleansed,

I welcome you all to todays church.
My preaching

Topic: LET THEM GO

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you,loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.

Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!! If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to , LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to past hurts and pains , LET IT GO!!! If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth , LET IT GO!!! If someone has angered
you , LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge , LET IT GO!!! If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction , LET IT GO!!! can somebody shout Ha-lle-lu-yah-yah-yah. Amen

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents, LET IT GO!!! If you have a bad attitude , LET IT GO!!! If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better , LET IT GO!!!If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him , LET IT GO!!! If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship , LET IT GO!!! If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves, LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed , LET IT GO!!! If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to , LET IT GO!!! Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2008!!! LET IT GO!!! Get Right or Get Left , think about
it, and then LET IT GO!!!

"The Battle is the Lord's!"
During the next 60 seconds, Stop whatever you are doing, and take this opportunity. (Literally it is only One minute) All you have to dois the following: You simply say "The Lords Prayer"

The Lords Prayer
Our Father, who are in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy Name, Thy Kingdom Come,
Thy Will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day, our
daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who
trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us
from evil. For Thine is the Kingdom, and the Power, and the Glory,
forever. Amen.


Next, stop and think and appreciate God's power in your life, for doing what you know is pleasing to Him.

If you are not ashamed to do this, follow the instructions! Jesus said,
If you are not ashamed, only if you believe.
"Yes, I love my God. He is my fountain of Life and My Savior. He Keeps
me going day and night. Without Him, I am no one. But with Him, I can
do everything, Christ is my strength."

May the sweet communion of the Holy Spirit and the loving fellowship of
our LORD and Saviour JESUS CHRIST rest, rule and abide with you now and
always,

the lord dey waka in mysterious ways

i can see that the guy is filled with the spirit. go and build a house for ur church na?

@mykali

Let me have more member and make sure u pay ur tithe and offering today

Where is clemcykul to lead in songs

@saucekid
I make u my assistant pastor

HELLO
ITS ME AGAIN!

GUNPOINT!!!


U KNW I CAN NVR PASS UP D OPPORTUNITY 2 OVRTHROW!!

I HEREBY DECLARE MYSEF D SPIRITUAL HEAD OF DIS MINISTRY!!!

I DISLIKE D NAME SHA, BT CHANGES WIL HAV 2 COM L8R,

ANY 1 WIT OBJECTIONS CAN KISS MY ASS. . . . .

ANY1

DIDNT TINK SO.

SIGNED
PASTOR GENERAL GUNPOINT!!!

you don mad pointgun

you wan claim cele leader abi?e no go work

@gunpoint,

From nowhere you want to claim the ministry that i built, It will not work. Get behind Gunpoint,

fraudsters

pastors that get their powers from 'baba'

When u see a man of God moving with power, una go say na Baba give na me and you go their?

pastor, pls i have one million naira, 2 give to any pastor that can discern and cure my ailness.if u tell me the ailness n cure it den u are a really really man of the gods and i will b ur evangelism leader. HOLY.

pastor pls ma girlfriend wants to do birthday and i wan to borrow 2 milion naira from the church coffer but i go return am very soon. thank u for ya cooperation.

pastor, i need ya annointing so that any babe i chyke go follow me shap shap.

@emmyjojo

Bring the money n the Lord will speak about your illness. Don't worry the Lord will do it. recieve your healing, Take it, come to Nairaland and testify later

@segunpc

The church is not a charity organization so i advice you go to bank PHB or UBA to borrow money

@mykali

That another will not be given to you, Because you want to use it for the devils work,

No service on today, Go and watch CHELSEA vs MAN U

for counselling and prayers chat with me Pastor chidipupay
my email address is chidexab2001@yahoo.com or call,

Partor Chidipupay

I bring you greetins in the name of Jah.

I'm humbly applying for the post of Events organiser in ur new organisation/company (thats spanish for church).

I'm vastly experienced in the business of crusades, retreats, surrenders, beleivers confrences, Total experience e.t.c.

I have worked with numerous pastors, reverends, Doctors, bishops, Arch bishops and even Pastr. Rev arch. Bishops.

I have worked for great ministries such as, No be God Ministries, God punish satan evangelical mission, Give and it shall be given unto you interdenominational Assembly, Tithe and offering gospel church, e.t.c.

I believe that you'll find my services very helpful as you build your new church and spread ur gospel to all the mugu's (thats french for sinners and heathen).

Remain blessed

Thanks

Yours Sincerey

Rev. Dr. Past. Evang. Engr. Esss.

@esss,

Yes sir, we will need your services, Me and my assistance saucekid, We will communicate our correspondence to you soon, Remain blessed

Is this supposd 2 be funny?

Troynow:

Is this supposd 2 be funny?

Abi o

@post
critic from a reader: Your jokes lack humor, dry, not understandable (as a joke)

does these look like a joke to you. We are trying to move mountains here and you are there criticizing us. May God have mercy on you