Does any of you know the intercultural differences(miscommunication) between Americans/Africans/South Americans

e.g.

Eye-contact: When an African child looks an elder in the eyes it's said to be disrespectful, but when an American chid looks the other way when an adult is speaking to him, it's also said to be disrespectful

Who knows more about this topic? please give me more examples

Thanks

Its quiet true and causes cultural problems.

Also what is considered assertiveness in Western culture such as going after what you want is considered rude and not home training in African culture.

We tend to say sorry when we are not even in the offensive. For example, if someone falls down, Nigerians would go like "Oh sorry, e pele, ndo etc. But tell that to an american, he would be like "You didn't do anything". They don't understand we say that because we feel their pain

stillwater:

We tend to say sorry when we are not even in the offensive. For example, if someone falls down, Nigerians would go like "Oh sorry, e pele, ndo etc. But tell that to an american, he would be like "You didn't do anything". They don't understand we say that because we feel their pain

i thot i was the only one! When i first arrived here i'd say sorry for everything (i was used to it), until one guy had to pointedly ask me what exactly i was sorry for (he stubbed his toe i think) . . . since then i learnt to keep quiet.

I stopped too. It still feels weird not saying anything. I just go llike awwwwwww

About the sorry thing it is so embedded that my friends constantly tell me its not my fault before I can even say sorry.

stillwater:

We tend to say sorry when we are not even in the offensive. For example, if someone falls down, Nigerians would go like "Oh sorry, e pele, ndo etc. But tell that to an american, he would be like "You didn't do anything". They don't understand we say that because we feel their pain

i used to say sorry a lot when it wasn't my fault. i just learned it from my parents because they would say sorry until this boy one day asked me why i was sorry, and of course at the time i didn't know what to say. but now, i still say regardless of what people say because it's in me and i'm just used to it.

The Americans would ask U "Are U Okay?". That usually pisses me off!!! Someone falls flat on his face and U asking him if his Ok?



Me I always volunteer the good ol' sorry

Uche2nna:


The Americans would ask You "Are You Okay?". That usually pisses me off!!! Someone falls flat on his face and You asking him if his Ok?
Me I always volunteer the good ol' sorry

Britiko people ask that too. Another one is calling your fathers age mate by their names. Even your uncles. Never you try that in Nigeria.

Uche2nna:


The Americans would ask You "Are You Okay?". That usually pisses me off!!! Someone falls flat on his face and You asking him if his Ok?



Me I always volunteer the good ol' sorry

you should ask: do i look okay?

doncaster:

Britiko people ask that too. Another one is calling your fathers age mate by their names. Even your uncles. Never you try that in Nigeria.

even my younger siblings don't call me by my first name. i don't want to sound stupid but it's mostlly white people that call their uncles and anyone older by their first name.

I still say I'm sorry becos I think its nice to sympathise with people when they hurt themselves or sumthin,
the typical reaction is pleasant suprise and it sounds better and has a more genuine ring than askin if they are ok.

OMO IBO:

this is funny. in my first year at uni. i lived in a flat in the halls of residence owned by the university. i would say welcome to these american and british student each time they came back from whenever. for some reason they looked me like there was something wrong with me.

one day, i sat in the kitchen as they came back home from the grocery store and i said welcome and they still gave me 'what r u saying?' look. i stopped them i asked why they do not respond each time i welcomed them back and they said they do not understand what i meant.

I thought the story was going somewhere and I was waiting. . . so what happened next.

Allow me, if I may, to shine a bit of light on the "looking into the eyes" of another.

In many cultures, it is considered rude (or worse) for a "common" person to look directly at a "person of position."  In the US, it is held that all persons are created equal.  Thus, even the President and First Lady, in spite of their position, are still people just like you and me.  Here in America, we say that they put their pants on the same way that the rest of us do.  Also, it is held that if a person is being truly honest that s/he can look directly at somebody else and feel not threatened. 

This very issue is one with which I have experience.  When I was a college student, one of my professors was from China.  He, too, felt that direct eye contact was disrespectful, and he was made uncomfortable by his students who looked him in the eye when they addressed him.  Likewise, it made us, his students from the US, feel as if we didn't have his full attention when he didn't look directly at us!  Of course, not all cultures are the same in this regard.

I have always looked directly at people when addressing them, got me into loads of trouble back in Nigeria. . . . but that is the way I was raised. My mum used to say never trust a person with shifty eyes, looking into someones eyes while addressing them is a display of honesty and openness

Whenever my boss calls me I answer, "saah?" It drives him crazy. I've been trying to stop it but it's reflexive. Also, my advisor couldn't stand that I always called her Miss Cornell. She said it made her sound old. I was like, you're almost 60. There is no way I will start calling you Brenda! That's cause for an automatic slap in Naija!

@omoovie:
I know what you mean with respect to addressing somebody by title or by name. I have learned to address this by simply calling people what they wish to be called. This way, I'm not disrespecting them, because I'm not disrespecting their wishes. For those with whom I'm not on a familiar basis, I ask them how I might address them. I tend to be somewhat informal, myself, and like to keep everybody on the same level, so to speak. For example, I address one of our local bishops by his first name, and he seems to have no problem with it!

omoovie:

Whenever my boss calls me I answer, "saah?" It drives him crazy. I've been trying to stop it but it's reflexive. Also, my advisor couldn't stand that I always called her Miss Cornell. She said it made her sound old. I was like, you're almost 60. There is no way I will start calling you Brenda! That's cause for an automatic slap in Naija!

Lmao!!!!!

@omoovie how is CTC these days?

omoovie:

Whenever my boss calls me I answer, "saah?" It drives him crazy. I've been trying to stop it but it's reflexive. Also, my advisor couldn't stand that I always called her Miss Cornell. She said it made her sound old. I was like, you're almost 60. There is no way I will start calling you Brenda! That's cause for an automatic slap in Naija!

Automatic Slap?? thats not all!! everyone would gather and ask you (with tons of disgust and outrage), "shey oo fe dagba sha?!! Abi oo ni iya ni ile?!!)
(dont you want to grow old?!! abi you no get mama for house?!!)

I was listening to NPR a while ago and an american professor of english talked about the sorry stuff.
He said "I'm sorry" is different from "sorry". He gave an example where a person can say "sorry about the loss of you mom." and said it isn't wrong usage.

doncaster:

Britiko people ask that too. Another one is calling your fathers age mate by their names. Even your uncles. Never you try that in Nigeria.

that is a 100% unacceptable. 100% acceptable for slapping in Nigeria

it is a different stroke 4 different folks
what is acceptable to you may b totally unacceptable to me.
but we all av to get along make best use of our changing circumstances.

Im oyinbo, in our culture we look directly into the eye, its the best way to know if one is lying, as for our parents we call dem ma or da, and call uncles & aunts by first names, where as my bf calls his dad sir, when i was introduced to some friends i was called madam i had to keep a straight face as hookers were also called madam,

Im oyinbo, in our culture we look directly into the eye, its the best way to know if one is lying, as for our parents we call dem ma or da, and call uncles & aunts by first names, where as my bf calls his dad sir, when i was introduced to some friends i was called madam i had to keep a straight face as hookers were also called madam,

omoovie:

Whenever my boss calls me I answer, "saah?" It drives him crazy. I've been trying to stop it but it's reflexive. Also, my advisor couldn't stand that I always called her Miss Cornell. She said it made her sound old. I was like, you're almost 60. There is no way I will start calling you Brenda! That's cause for an automatic slap in Naija!

This is just me even after a whole 6 years in my place of work,i still refered to my cliets(patiets) mr/ms,ends conversations and answers with ma/sir,i kept it very professional , my colleques,now sees and agreed with me is cutural thing and respect me for it,though some of my pts demanded i called them or refered to them by their 1st names only even the very old ones.

Well, I am German and the way I was raised by my parents was that you respect elders, never call anyone older then you by their first name.
I also tend to say sorry for anything that happens even if I had nothing to do with it. If I pass someone I say Excuse me, if someone falls or hurts themselves I say I'm sorry,
The looking in the eye I had to get used too though. I work in an elementary school now and the the white children look in my eyes when I speak to them or when they are in trouble for misbehaving, an African American child will avoid eye contact. Since I know it is a cultural thing I do not make them look me in the eye. I can respect their upbringing.
It is very important to educate oneself about different cultural behaviors and then to respect them.

@Poster
Cultural Misunderstandings isn't limted to inter country or geographial domiciliation clash alone.
I was brought up in a strict home where you have to respect everyone older than you( Even If He/She is a Day Older!).I was cool with this arrangement until I started working some years ago In a financial Institution Here In Nigeria,It was very difficult to start calling my Bosses by their First Name.
Very hard but I got used to it after many reprimands.

when addressing a young woman: western see madam as an insult on her age nigeria as a sign of respect
when addressing elders: western see bowing/curtse as an insult  nigeria as a compliment
when speaking to someone on the phone:  western culture turns off the music/tv or steps away from the noise.  nigerian yells over the noise
when speaking in person: western looks the person in the eye.  nigerian look everywhere but at the person
when shaking hands: westen firm handshake     nigerian a wet noodle
when going indoors: western ladies first/ person coming indoors first   nigerian push and shove and hope not to get trampled
when driving:  western leave a safe distance between cars and waiting your turn when entering narrow roads or turning      nigeria tailgaiting and ramming everyone in site


one thing that drives me crazy is nigerian say sorry for everything except for when they should be sorry. and the never say please or thankyou

agathamari:

when addressing a young woman: western see madam as an insult on her age nigeria as a sign of respect
when addressing elders: western see bowing/curtse as an insult nigeria as a compliment
when speaking to someone on the phone: western culture turns off the music/tv or steps away from the noise. nigerian yells over the noise
when speaking in person: western looks the person in the eye. nigerian look everywhere but at the person
when shaking hands: westen firm handshake nigerian a wet noodle
when going indoors: western ladies first/ person coming indoors first nigerian push and shove and hope not to get trampled
when driving: western leave a safe distance between cars and waiting your turn when entering narrow roads or turning nigeria tailgaiting and ramming everyone in site


o[b]ne thing that drives me crazy is nigerian say sorry for everything except for when they should be sorry. and the never say please or thankyou[/b]

@bolded part

I can say the same for Americans. I deal with the American public everyday due to the nature of my job. Alot of them will not say "please" or "Thank you." Notice I said, "alot of them" not all. Likewise, you should learn not to generalize because you are pissing me off with your crude generalizations. My parents are both Nigerian and they raised me and my siblings to say "please" and "thank you." I therefore find it rude when people do not say these words regardless of where in the world they are from. I also noticed from your posts so far that you like generalizing ALL Nigerians. I read somewhere where you said that Nigerians have no patience. Have you met all Nigerians in this world? I hate people who generalize No one forced you to marry a Nigerian and I am sure you do not have to live in Nigeria. If you don't like it there, then quietly pack your bags and go back to your country where apparently, everything seems "perfect."

No society is perfect. Nigerians got their issues and so do Americans, britains etc. Alot (not all) of Americans are whinners and complainers and are very two face (smile in your face, stab you at the back). However, I learnt to deal with it for as long as I live in this society. I am not going to go and register on dollarland.com (if it existed) and bad mouth Americans every chance I get the way you are doing. That is just low. Like I said, to be married to a Nigerian is not by force. To live in Nigeria, is not by force. We all have choices in life. Use yours and spare us all on this forum the unnecessary hateraid and constant complaints regarding Nigeria and its people. Take your misery elsewhere!!

Thank you.