I got the shock of my life when my fiancee told me that after our wedding she will still retain her surname.
I was surprise because I neva tot that it will be a bone of contention. A lot of africAn ladies are taking to western culture and that is y the rate of divorce is on d increase in africa.
I really need ur view on dis. as a guy will u go ahead and as a lady do u hv such plan?

Nosu: I got the shock of my life when my fiancee told me that after our wedding she will still retain her surname.
I was surprise because I neva tot that they will be a bone of contention. A lot of africAn ladies are taking to western culture and that is y the rate of divorce is on d increase in africa.
I really need ur view on dis. as a guy will u go ahead and as a lady do u hv such plan?

Atta-girl !! .... She saved you one of the shock of your life.

Finally somebody with head on her shoulder is using ''The method''

phew!

Its so easy 2 figure awt d kind of topixs dat make frontpage :-XIts so easy 2 figure awt d kind of topixs dat make frontpage

jidegirl12:

Atta-girl !! .... She saved you one of the shock of your life.

[/b]Finally somebody with head on her shoulder is using ''The [b][/b]method'' [b]

phew!

Wat do u meant wit ur 2nd statement

Nosu:

Wat do u meant wit ur 2nd statement

^^ oh Here :
https://www.nairaland.com/1374631/important-things-discuss-before-marriage

@jidegirl12: I read thru that some minutes ago, it is a wonderful trend and I learnt so much from it. Thanks

I was really shock.we been together for like 4 years now and i tot i knew so much abt her but after that incident, its suddenly done on me that there are still a lot l don't know abt her.

I think ure the man,u shouldn't allow any woman to dictate for you,it is nigeria culture for a woman to bear is husband name,I guess that's just her starting point,u better use straight face with it....

What's with all this "groupthink" thats so prevalent around here.

Op, if YOU want your prospective wives to drop their surnames for your own, then just tell them so, jeez.

Are you some kind of ninny and will you also call the general public to come and sleep with your wives, since its the whole world who must get involved in your matter.

You people should grow up for real, una dey too babyish for my liking.

Na una significant others go manage una sha.

Birds of a feather.

Dem be like animal farm, just bleating whatever they're told to bleat, gosh.

Depends on the person.
It's hard for me to imagine a Nigerian/African condoning such.
As for me, that's a big No. That decision alone tells you a lot about what you're gonna encounter if you eventually go down the aisle with her.
You gotta bail on that chic!

there was a grown a.rse male the other day whining about how his mama wasnt giving him attention, i should think issues such as these [ie thread title] are the least of you folks' worries!

not to mention i didnt see anybody instructing the big baby about how to be a man, on said thread!

kwangi: Depends on the person.
It's hard for me to imagine a Nigerian/African condoning such.
As for me, that's a big No. That decision alone tells you a lot about what you're gonna encounter if you eventually go down the aisle with her.
You gotta bail on that chic!

Your misconceptions will be the death of you.

SMH

Yes

Yes, I'm gonna keep my surname..

What is wrong in keeping her maiden name? Obviously u hv concluded it won't work so spare urslf the drama and call it quit.

What is in a surname that will become an issue for you two.once you people understand and respect each other,that should count.if she wants to hold her surnname,how will that add or reduce to you.men and unnecessary ego sha :/






mshewwwwwwwwwwwq childish tantrums

tpia@:
What's with all this "groupthink" thats so prevalent around here.

Op, if YOU want your prospective wives to drop their surnames for your own, then just tell them so, jeez.

Are you some kind of ninny and will you also call the general public to come and sleep with your wives, since its the whole world who must get involved in your matter.


You people should grow up for real, una dey too babyish for my liking.

Na una significant others go manage una sha.

Birds of a feather.

Hello hello, Can u pls keep quiet, didn't come here to ask for advice and only seeking for others view on dis Issue. So pls don't come out here and throw insult. Or u think NL is a place to exhibit ur face me and face u mentality.
I am a man that don't take rubbish and I stand my ground wen I need to and it didn't take an hour b4 I trash out the issue . It only bothers me that some ladies hold dat idealogy
I really dont care who the lady is or were she is coming from, if she isn't ready to drop her surname, she should remain on her own, she isnt ready for a marriage.

Nosu:


Hello hello, if she isn't ready to drop her surname, she should remain on her own, she isnt ready for a marriage .

Bulls Eye!!!

Nosa, Some women especially those who are from families where they are only girls use both names with - eg, Nhozi Okonjo- Iwela.
It depends on what you are both comfortable with, using her surname jointly with yours doesn't kill anyone however its what you are comfortable with.
Me and all my sisters use both names.
Listen to her reasons and if she wants to use both names, if its a deal breaker for you then let her go, don't agree now and try to force her later, she has been honest with you about this, if you can find a compromise if you can't move on.
However its a choice of hers, you can't make her do what she doesn't want to do and she can't force you accept what is not acceptable to you

Nosu: I was really shock.we been together for like 4 years now and i tot i knew so much abt her but after that incident, its suddenly done on me that there are still a lot l don't know abt her.

That is why questioning is good during courtship, don't just assume, ask questions, no question should be regarded as stup I'd as far as marriage is concerned and questions are never too many when marriage is concerned.

If you had asked this question before, it won't surprise you now and you would have quit or continued the relationship, depending on whichever you can live with.

May God help you o

Stand your ground law is deadly oo...

It causes fatalities ..


#Just Saying

Bawss1:

Your misconceptions will be the death of you.

SMH

What are the misconceptions?
Mention them, don't stop at shaking your head. You're supposed to be offering your opinion/advice as per the Op.

Nosu:


Hello hello, Can u pls keep quiet, didn't come here to ask for advice and only seeking for others view on dis Issue. So pls don't come out here and throw insult. Or u think NL is a place to exhibit ur face me and face u mentality.
I am a man that don't take rubbish and I stand my ground wen I need to and it didn't take an hour b4 I trash out the issue . It only bothers me that some ladies hold dat idealogy
I really dont care who the lady is or were she is coming from, if she isn't ready to drop her surname, she should remain on her own, she isnt ready for a marriage.

pele o baba no nonsense :p8-)

@OP, it was an issue between my then fiance(now my hubby) n i cos we are not from the same tribe but then he talked to me in a very gentle way making me see why i should take up only his surname n now i write it PROUDLY,enjoyin the questioning look on peoples faces when they see the tribal difference in the name.
Dont be surprised that a lady may want to but pls take it easy with them n talk sensibly on y it is better to respect their hubbies with his name.

shirley whyte: Yes, I'm gonna keep my surname..

whatsup shirley.....

@topic if she has a good reason to do so... if her success depends on the name, likeif she is chimamanda Adichie , totally dropping her surname can have negativ consequences....... But if there is no meaninful reason for it, then no i am not cool with the idea.

Actually, whethet or not she keeps her suname is not the issue in itself. I am concerned about her motivations for deciding to cling to the surname. I am only concerned that it might indicate some underlying 'though we are married, we are not exactly one' issues.

What is in a surname sef? I know families who decided to change surnames at some point. Its not much of a big deal!

Change of surname affects some important documents. Maybe she doesnt want to go through the stress of renaming documents

Much ado about nothing.

I can- in fact, I intend to encourage her to keep it just add mine to it as compound name to save her unnecessary trouble with documentation.

DarryOsh:

whatsup shirley.....

@topic if she has a good reason to do so... if her success depends on the name, likeif she is chimamanda Adichie , totally dropping her surname can have negativ consequences....... But if there is no meaninful reason for it, then no i am not cool with the idea.

Hello darryOsh, how are you?

Nosu:


Hello hello, Can u pls keep quiet, didn't come here to ask for advice and only seeking for others view on dis Issue. So pls don't come out here and throw insult. Or u think NL is a place to exhibit ur face me and face u mentality.
I am a man that don't take rubbish and I stand my ground wen I need to and it didn't take an hour b4 I trash out the issue . It only bothers me that some ladies hold dat idealogy
I really dont care who the lady is or were she is coming from, if she isn't ready to drop her surname, she should remain on her own, she isnt ready for a marriage.

The concept which you fail to grasp here is that of MINDING YOUR OWN CRAPPY BUSINESS.

It concerns NOBODY if your wives decide to take on your name or not. Smacks of poverty and grandiose delusion if someone wants to carry a name on her head as if nobody ever married before!

Abeg stop disgracing yourself and be a man!

If the matter pain you pass then straighten it out with the women involved, not strangers, abi you dont socialize ni?