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How Did Xenophobia Start: In South Africa - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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How Did Xenophobia Start: In South Africa by RSA(m): 2:39pm On Jun 12, 2008
How Did Xenophobia Start,

A Nigerian, a Mozambican and a South African are sitting in a South African pub having a pint of beer.

The Nigerian grabs his beer, downs it, throws his glass into the air, draws a handgun and shoots the glass in mid-air. He grins at the other two, puts the gun down on the bar andshouts: "In Nigeria we have so many glasses we never drink out of the same glass twice."

The Mozambican then downs his beer, throws his glass into the air, grabs the gun off the bar, shoots the glass, puts the gun back on the bar andsays: "Heela, in Mozambique we have so much sand which makes glass really cheap, so we too, never drink out of the same glass twice."

The South African finishes his beer, puts the glass down on the bar, picks up the gun, shoots both the Nigerian and Mozambican and says to thebarman:

"In South Africa we have so many Nigerians and Mozambicans that we never have to drink with the same ones twice."
Re: How Did Xenophobia Start: In South Africa by SENATORJD(m): 2:50pm On Jun 12, 2008
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA
very funny angry
Re: How Did Xenophobia Start: In South Africa by RSA(m): 2:57pm On Jun 12, 2008
A man asked a prostitute: "How much?"
She replied: "R100 on the bed, R50 on a sofa and R20 on the grass"

The man gave her R100, She replied: "I see you are a man of class"

He replied: "Shitty class, five times on the grass"
Re: How Did Xenophobia Start: In South Africa by RSA(m): 2:59pm On Jun 12, 2008
Your hair smells nice
 
Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and states that she wants to write a intimate harassment grievance against him. The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled by this decision and asks, "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"

The woman replies, "It's BEN, the dwarf."
Re: How Did Xenophobia Start: In South Africa by RSA(m): 3:07pm On Jun 12, 2008
Nathi : So, Sipho, last time I saw you, you were going to Caesar's PIZZA, how did you go?
Sipho : Very bad, my favourite PIZZA was not there that day.
Nathi : Mhhh, interesting, so what did you do then?
Sipho : Well, I decided to go to Big Daddy's restaurant for a BURGER. Eish, when I arrived there, the door was locked.
Nathi : Agh Shame my friend, that's bad.
Sipho : Ah well, I had to finally go to the café and got myself PAP and STEW
After a while when Nathi was gone, Sipho's wife wanted to know what was the whole conversation about.
Sipho: Well you see honey, that's what we sometimes do during lunch. We go out and eat at restaurants. Well the Lady was happy with the answer.

EXPLANATION:
PIZZAS (GIRLFRIENDS) = Taste good all the time.
BURGER (MISTRESS) = Eaten often now and then.
PAP and STEW (WIFE) = Eaten when there is absolutely nothing else on offer.
Re: How Did Xenophobia Start: In South Africa by SENATORJD(m): 3:39pm On Jun 12, 2008
RSA:

A man asked a prostitute: "How much?"
She replied: "R100 on the bed, R50 on a sofa and R20 on the grass"

The man gave her R100, She replied: "I see you are a man of class"

He replied: "Shitty class, five times on the grass"

grin cheesy grin cheesy
Re: How Did Xenophobia Start: In South Africa by Uche2nna(m): 3:41pm On Jun 12, 2008
RSA:

Your hair smells nice

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and states that she wants to write a intimate harassment grievance against him. The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled by this decision and asks, "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"

The woman replies, "It's BEN, the dwarf."




So where exactly was Ben sniffing @? grin
Re: How Did Xenophobia Start: In South Africa by kene20(m): 4:27pm On Jun 12, 2008
Nice jokes u got there cheesy cheesy
Re: How Did Xenophobia Start: In South Africa by Jeovy(m): 4:34pm On Jun 12, 2008
RSA:

A man asked a prostitute: "How much?"
She replied: "R100 on the bed, R50 on a sofa and R20 on the grass"

The man gave her R100, She replied: "I see you are a man of class"

He replied: "Shitty class, five times on the grass"


This is a killer joke grin grin grin ,nice one RSA
Re: How Did Xenophobia Start: In South Africa by Abbygyal(f): 5:17pm On Jun 12, 2008
nice jokes
Re: How Did Xenophobia Start: In South Africa by RSA(m): 7:59am On Jun 13, 2008
thanks guys,I've got more,

A blind man walks into a little restaurant and sits down. The
owner walks up to him and hands him menu.
*"I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just
bring me a fork used by a previous customer. I'll smell it and
Order from
there."*
*A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile
And picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the man's table And hands
it to him.*
*The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep
breath.*
*Ah, yes, that's what I'll have--meatloaf and mashed potatoes."*
*Unbelievable, the owner thinks as he walks towards the kitchen
and
tells his wife Gladys, the cook, what just happened.*
*The blind man eats and leaves
*Several days later, the blind man returns and the owner
mistakenly
brings him a menu again.*
*Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."*
*I'm sorry! I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a fork."*
*The owner retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind
man.*
*After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells
great.*
*I'll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli." *
*Walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is
screwing
around with him and tells his wife Gladys that the Next time the
blind
man comes in he's going to test him
*He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him
coming
and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Gladys, Rub this
fork on
your panties before I take it to the blind man." Gladys complies
and
hands her husband the fork.*
*As the blind
man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and
waiting.*
*Good afternoon, sir, this time I remembered you and I have your
fork ready for you."*
*The blind man puts the fork to his nose, sniffs, and says, "I
didn't know Gladys worked here!* grin
Re: How Did Xenophobia Start: In South Africa by RSA(m): 8:14am On Jun 13, 2008
Indian Funeral
Deceased: Bala
Surviving Spouse : Radha
No Kids
Pet Dog : named Cookie.
PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS REALLY HAPPENED.!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The wife while sitting next to the coffin, cried out aloud and said
"BALA WHY YOU LEFT ME, WHO IS GOING TO PLAY WITH MY COOKIE EVERY MORNING ? MY COOKIE ALWAYS LOOKED FOR U , WHEN IT SAW U BALA IT
JUMPED FOR U, AIYOO BALA MY COOKIE WILL JUST LIE ,WHO WILL IT JUMP FOR NOW , BALA WHO IS GOING TO BATH MY COOKIE AND TRIM MY COOKIES HAIR?" cry
Re: How Did Xenophobia Start: In South Africa by RSA(m): 8:19am On Jun 13, 2008
Kids Are Quick !!!

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'

MILLIE: I is,

TEACHER: No, Millie, Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE: All right, 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher
Re: How Did Xenophobia Start: In South Africa by clemcykul(f): 8:55am On Jun 13, 2008
tyte one dude keep em coming grin grin grin
Re: How Did Xenophobia Start: In South Africa by RSA(m): 12:51pm On Jun 13, 2008
Fathersday in Soweto!

Re: How Did Xenophobia Start: In South Africa by RSA(m): 1:53pm On Jun 20, 2008
NEW JOB TITLES IN THE NEW SOUTH AFRICA in preparation for 2010!!!

Murderer : Population Stabilizer

Orphan : Independent Youngster

Beggar : Financial Gatherer

Cleaner : Hygiene Specialist

Molester : Senior Practitioner in intimate Practices

Gardener : Landscape Executive and Animal Nutritionist

House Maid : Family Environs Upkeep Manager

Receptionist :Front Office Manager/Office Access Control Specialist

Messenger : Business Communications Conveyer

Window Cleaner : Transparent Wall Technician

Temporary Teacher :Associate Tutor

Tealady : Refreshment Overseer

Garbage Collector : Public Sanitation Technician

Watchman/security : Theft Prevention and Surveillance Officer or

Wealth Distribution Prevention Officer

Prostitute : Practical intimate Relations Officer

Thief : Wealth Distribution Officer

Driver : Automobile Propulsion Specialist

Maid : Domestic Operations Specialist

Employee without Portfolio : Administration Manager

Cook : Food Preparation Officer

Do Not Forget:

Unemployed :Township Management

Gossiping :Research Management
Re: How Did Xenophobia Start: In South Africa by RSA(m): 2:21pm On Jun 20, 2008
THE FACTS

The Xenophobic Attacks are Clearly Result of Jealousy, The Comparison Below Confirms this Observation.

NIGERIAN




SOUTH AFRICAN








Disclaimer
Re: How Did Xenophobia Start: In South Africa by studio43(m): 9:00pm On Jun 20, 2008
RSA,


u seem to be doin all the talkings all alone. grin
Re: How Did Xenophobia Start: In South Africa by Jeovy(m): 6:53pm On Jun 21, 2008
RSA:

thanks guys,I've got more,

A blind man walks into a little restaurant and sits down. The
owner walks up to him and hands him menu.
*"I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just
bring me a fork used by a previous customer. I'll smell it and
Order from
there."*
*A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile
And picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the man's table And hands
it to him.*
*The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep
breath.*
*Ah, yes, that's what I'll have--meatloaf and mashed potatoes."*
*Unbelievable, the owner thinks as he walks towards the kitchen
and
tells his wife Gladys, the cook, what just happened.*
*The blind man eats and leaves
*Several days later, the blind man returns and the owner
mistakenly
brings him a menu again.*
*Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."*
*I'm sorry! I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a fork."*
*The owner retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind
man.*
*After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells
great.*
*I'll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli." *
*Walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is
screwing
around with him and tells his wife Gladys that the Next time the
blind
man comes in he's going to test him
*He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him
coming
and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Gladys, Rub this
fork on
your undies before I take it to the blind man." Gladys complies
and
hands her husband the fork.*
*As the blind
man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and
waiting.*
*Good afternoon, sir, this time I remembered you and I have your
fork ready for you."*
*The blind man puts the fork to his nose, sniffs, and says, "I
didn't know Gladys worked here!* grin






nice one again

RSA,why are they running from the kid?
Re: How Did Xenophobia Start: In South Africa by RSA(m): 2:51pm On Jun 24, 2008
Responsibility mate!
Re: How Did Xenophobia Start: In South Africa by clemcykul(f): 3:06pm On Jun 24, 2008
good post

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