If All Weddings Went Like This... - Jokes Etc - Nairaland
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| If All Weddings Went Like This... by ayogabriel(m): 10:29am On Sep 02, 2013 |
We are gathered here in the presence of God and men to join these people in holy matrimony. We know they have been sleeping together in secret but now they can do it with the knowledge of everyone. And as marriage is holy, at least in theory, I put it forth that if there is anyone in this gathering who has a valid reason why these two should not be joined, speak now or forever hold your peace: Anyone…? Is there anyone...? C'mon, he must have slept with some of you? Someone....? Anyone....? I know someone here has slept with her too? Well, I guess they were all one-night stands. Moving on swiftly. Mr Groom, do you take this woman as your lawfully wedded bride, to love to cherish and to hold, to listen to her whining halfway through the night, always suck up to her father, to always lose an argument or else...,to give all your pay without reservations, to be the worker while she is the minister of finance, to ignore your relatives while taking care of hers, to listen to unending lies about her having a headache when you really need to release steam, put up with PMS... Sometimes faked... till death do you part? (I do?.....) Very well. And do you Miss Bride, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love to cherish and to hold, to cook for, clean up after, give up watching soaps and anything interesting when there is football, find the toilet seat up every time, Clean pee of it, take care of kids alone, house his in laws, cook tea for his friends during any important game for all the days of your life? (I do? .... ) Well then, I pronounce you husband and wife. What God has joined, let no man, neighbour, handsome workmate, barmaid, beer brand, ex's, in-laws, milkman, shamba-boy, driver or sexy secretary put asunder. You may kiss the bride... |
| Re: If All Weddings Went Like This... by helphelp: 12:56pm On Sep 02, 2013 |
you try small.... Sha no expect am for front page |
| Re: If All Weddings Went Like This... by Isiterere(m): 3:29pm On Sep 02, 2013 |
 helphelp: you try small....You are a kill-joy helphelp: you try small....You are a kill-joy |
| Re: If All Weddings Went Like This... by helphelp: 9:49am On Sep 05, 2013 |
lol.... Isiterere: |
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