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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Sammyjay Entertainments (1125 Views)
Sammyjay Entertainments by adheshina(m): 4:43pm On Sep 08, 2013 |
Naija Jokez Zone |
Re: Sammyjay Entertainments by adheshina(m): 4:44pm On Sep 08, 2013 |
Life's just too short to be single,snatch someone's Bf/Gf and be happy.... Move close to mine and u are dead |
Re: Sammyjay Entertainments by adheshina(m): 4:46pm On Sep 08, 2013 |
Football vs Sex. 1. Going to your bf/gf without being invited = OFFSIDE. 2. Dating a girl today and having sex on the same day = FREE-KICK. 3. Condom = GOALKEEPER 4. Condom breaks = PENALTY 5. Abortion = RED CARD 6. A girl with lots of energy = CAPTAIN 7. Having sex without a condom = OWN GOAL 8. Taking a lot of time without coming = MAN OF THE MATCH. 9.Banging 3 girls in a day = HAT-TRICK. 10. Having many chicks and banging all = MVP 11. Having sex with your ex = FRIENDLY MATCH 12. 8 years of sex without getting a child = ARSENAL 13. After 2 rounds, u request for more =EXTRA TIME. 14. Taking it gently when having sex = FAIR PLAY 15. Biting her n!pples = SUAREZ 16.Two legs on shoulder = THROWIN 17. Asking her 'how do you want it' = Taking instructions on the sideline. 18. A lady using pills after sex and later still got pregnant = DEFENSIVE ERROR 19.Girl being pregnant = GoOoOoOallllll 20.Ur guy collect ur chick= True pass 21.Having sex with a girl..and your mum open d door= Injury 22.You and your girl break up= Game over 23. Girl tell u to stop= YELLOW CARD Pass it on don't laugh only 1 Like |
Re: Sammyjay Entertainments by adheshina(m): 4:48pm On Sep 08, 2013 |
A thief was walking in a bush hunting for wht to steal he saw a lion. He knee down n started praying When he open his eyes he saw d lion kneeling down. He askd d lion are u a xtian too. D lion reply shut up don't u pray b4 u eat=)) How has ur day been? |
Re: Sammyjay Entertainments by adheshina(m): 4:50pm On Sep 08, 2013 |
Reply to get more |
Re: Sammyjay Entertainments by adheshina(m): 11:22am On Sep 09, 2013 |
Government announced that if u have 5 kids, ur salary will be increased to K500,000. A man heard the news and said to his wife, i have a kid with my girlfriend. Im going to bring him so we can add him to our 4 kids. When he came back, he saw only one of his kids remaining. He asked, where r the other 3? His wife replied, you r not the only one who heard the news. THEIR FATHERS HAVE COME FOR THEM. Put a smile on someone's face as i have done. Laugh of the day!!!=D |
Re: Sammyjay Entertainments by Nobody: 2:39pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
1) Your best friend catching Ɣõu̶̲̥̅̊ banging his girlfriend = BackPass 2) Banging a girl @ her house and enjoying the same with her twin sister in ur own house, the same Evening (Damn!) = Home and Away match. 3) Gang-banging four sisters @ a blow = Messi 4) Romancing a girl and never able to bang her = FIFa 3) Banging a girl in the lecture hall, with her pants on = Up-true Pass 1 Like |
Re: Sammyjay Entertainments by adheshina(m): 4:08pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
maishot: 1) Your best friend catching Ɣõu̶̲̥̅̊ banging his girlfriend = BackPass =D=Dı̣̣̣α̍̍̊и̣̣̣̥G̲̣̣̣̥н̣̣̣̝̇̇̇ɪ̣̝̇п̥̥̲̣̥G̲̣̣̣̥ ọ̥и̣̣̣̣̥†̥ ι̥ọ̥и̣̣̣̥d̶̲̥̅̊=D=D |
Re: Sammyjay Entertainments by adheshina(m): 4:23pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
AKPOS: Uncle, I learnt its difficult to get admission into University these days, except you are well connected… Uncle: Yes thats true. … AKPOS: Since you are connected, I came to ask you to help me get admission into university after my jamb. Uncle: Ya that’s true…am connected and I will help you. AKPOS: Thank you uncle. Uncle: You are welcome, so how is your result, is it Waec or Neco and how many credits did you get? AKPOS: Uncle, its waec, I had only 2 credits in Agricultural science and Yoruba language, but I failed the rest. Uncle: Well, that’s not bad,you can still be a doctor, not a medical doctor really, but native doctor (babalawo)..you will use your credit in Agric in collecting herbs from forest, and Yoruba language for incantations. 1 Like |
Re: Sammyjay Entertainments by adheshina(m): 1:19pm On Sep 10, 2013 |
It happened in a hospital in Warri, Delta State... Intensive Care Unit (ICU) patients were dying in the same bed, every Sunday at 3pm. Doctors thought it was something supernatural. So, a team of medical experts gathered to investigate the cause or causes of the mysterious deaths. The following Sunday, few minutes before 3pm, all the doctors & Nurses stood around that particular bed waiting to see what it was. Then suddenly Akpos (part time sweeper) entered the ICU, unplugged the Life Support system of that bed & then plugged his blackberry charger One word?? |
Re: Sammyjay Entertainments by adheshina(m): 8:30pm On Sep 11, 2013 |
Thank God always |
Re: Sammyjay Entertainments by adheshina(m): 8:33pm On Sep 11, 2013 |
Check out my mobile blog. http://www.adheshina.mywapblog.com |
Re: Sammyjay Entertainments by adheshina(m): 5:23pm On Sep 17, 2013 |
Akpors committed a crime, and was been chased by two police men. The police men chased him far and far inside the forest, immediately akpors climbed on the tree and hid there. Then the policemen ran far inside the forest, then one of the police men told the 2nd policeman, this was their convesation. Policeman1: (telling policeman2) akpors has escaped lets go back. Policeman2: (telling policeman1) ok lets get to a tree and rest. So the two policemen went resting under a tree not knowing it was the same tree akpors was hiding policeman1: (telling policeman2) if i catch akpors, hmm he will smell his anus. Policeman2: (telling policeman1) akpors is a fool, just watch, he will anwser me when i call him now so the 2nd policement shouted: Akpors! Akpors!! Akpors!!! Akpors that was hiding from been caught, was laughing up there, then he told the policemen this Akpors: if you like start shouting my name from now till next year, i wont anwser you, am not the akpors of before. I don wise up. one word 4 akpos. |
Re: Sammyjay Entertainments by adheshina(m): 8:52pm On Dec 11, 2013 |
Akpos story!!! You won't believe what happened to me yesterday night. I was coming back from somewhere around 9pm when i saw this beautiful damsel approaching me. She has the the beatiful face of Beyonce, The sumptious lips of Angelina Jolie, The backside like that of Kim Kardashian, The curves were like that of Mercy Johnson, She got the height like that of Angela Okorie, Her eyes were as beautiful as that of Ini Edo, She got the forehead of Rihanna, With bumper front package like that of Cossy Orjiakor. She was looking innocent like Gennevieve Nnaji. I knew i had to talk to her, it will be the greatest mistake if i allow her pass without talking. So i said "Hi" She didn't replied but she smiled.. So i continued "My name is Ocha, i will love to talk to you but am in a hurry right now, pls can i get your contact so that i can call you for us to meet?" She smiled again and said "Ok, ZERO HATE ZERO, TIRI TIRI HATE, SEFUN TWO TIRI, NOI NOI.. NA MY HENTIHEN LINE BE DIS. YOU WANT MY SAIN LINE?" I fainted!!
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Re: Sammyjay Entertainments by adheshina(m): 10:21pm On Dec 15, 2013 |
Oouch... Am so stressed out. I just returned frm mandela's memorial in south africa.. Oh boy! If u c crowd ehn na die. even d hold up 4 sky no be small tin... Oh! Our plane too full to d Yansh (bottom) wey pple dey lap some sef dey stand: if no be say na first class I dey,heat 4 don kill person.. I jst wind down 4 fresh air to enter my body.. Well,i jst tnk Good i returned safely.. I nid to rest now.. 2mao,i ll share d tins i brought okk? happy sunday... Lolx |
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