Are You Externalizing Your Problems? - Family - Nairaland
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| Are You Externalizing Your Problems? by esere826: 3:33pm On Oct 05, 2013 |
ARE YOU EXTERNALIZING YOUR PROBLEMS? I swear, this is an extremely wide subject touching on every aspects of our lifes from politics to entertainment However, I'll place it here because: 1) I might write a follow up that is familly centric 2) It could encourage parents to inculcate in their kids some extra positive habits |
| Re: Are You Externalizing Your Problems? by esere826: 3:38pm On Oct 05, 2013 |
The first time I discovered this concept of externalizing/outsourcing issues was during a research on ethics The writer explained that he once went to the woods (Nigerians might call it bush or jungle) and saw a group of teenagers who had just finished camping. The group cleared up the place very neatly, -no cans on the floor, place thoroughly swept etc The writer was about to commend the group of teenagers for being so neat until he saw what they did next. |
| Re: Are You Externalizing Your Problems? by esere826: 3:42pm On Oct 05, 2013 |
They dumped the trash into a stream flowing downhill The writer tried to tell the teenagers that what they were doing was wrong That although they had done a great job of tidying up after themselves they had succeeded in externalizing the junk to any other place that the stream would lead the garbage to Typically, the teenagers were upset with the writer and told him off As far as they were concerned, they had done well by cleaning their space |
| Re: Are You Externalizing Your Problems? by esere826: 3:44pm On Oct 05, 2013 |
After reading that ^^^, my eyes kon open and I became more concious of the things I do Let's take a look at some things we do 'well' that cause/externalize our pains to others: |
| Re: Are You Externalizing Your Problems? by esere826: 3:51pm On Oct 05, 2013 |
1) Sweeping the roads and then throwing the garbage into drainages -I once barked at one of those Lagos sweepers that I saw doing this. Extremely stupid if you ask me 2) Clearing your grass/lawn, and then using the cut grass to fill up potholes on your street -This might be good for a couple of days, but the stench and road spoilage after this is not worth it 3) Stealing pensioners money so that you can afford to travel around the world with your kids and your parents -Extremely wicked. But interestingly, some of these pensioners did the same to those before them |
| Re: Are You Externalizing Your Problems? by esere826: 4:04pm On Oct 05, 2013 |
4) 'Taking' someone else's boyfriend, girlfried, wife or husband and saying that you have found love at last -yeap, you have found love, but thanks to you someone else has lost love. ..me i guilty of this one 5) Buying stuff (handbags, shoes, garri etc) on credit and then not paying for it -You just robbed that lady of shoes that she could have worn herself 6) Borrowing money and not paying back, but going ahead in your piousness to pay tithes and offering -So the giver is a fool abi? she doesnt deserve to give offerings of her own money? So, You honestly think that you can play spiritual kalo kalo with someone else's money successfully |
| Re: Are You Externalizing Your Problems? by esere826: 4:12pm On Oct 05, 2013 |
7) saving your money (instead of paying for transport or buying a car) and then hitching daily rides with your friend -Although this could be smart, it could also be annoying especially if you have same financial strength as your colleague What you could do is to do some maths and help in filling the tank once in a while, or at least buy him beer regularly. 8 ) Getting a 10 to 14 yr old child from the village to wait on your own 10 to 14 yr old child -Are you really serious?, Are you helping the child or enslaving him/her? May jesus forgive you |
| Re: Are You Externalizing Your Problems? by Ishilove: 8:35pm On Oct 05, 2013 |
esere826: 4) 'Taking' someone else's boyfriend, girlfried, wife or husband and saying that you have found love at lastHmmmmm... You need deliverance  |
| Re: Are You Externalizing Your Problems? by esere826: 8:21am On Oct 06, 2013 |
Ishilove:  |
| Re: Are You Externalizing Your Problems? by pickabeau1: 8:33am On Oct 06, 2013 |
Nice write up The car pooling one is not really bad .... the guy may have issues n be cash struck The tithing thieves is wat I dont get The lady went for a man not appreciated ditto jolie on brad pitt |
| Re: Are You Externalizing Your Problems? by esere826: 9:50am On Oct 06, 2013 |
^^^I dey come make i go church come back |
| Re: Are You Externalizing Your Problems? by esere826: 5:01pm On Oct 06, 2013 |
pickabeau1:Its not bad at all, but I think the guy should fully appreciate that he or she is externalizing her problem to the owner of the car. The owner of the car will for example have to do some extra cleaning, and depending on the number of people that are being carried regularly the car maintenance cost might increase |
| Re: Are You Externalizing Your Problems? by pickabeau1: 6:06pm On Oct 06, 2013 |
True dat.. But please let me not derail you from your general principlw which is sound Your post does not identify how to take individual responssibility esere826: |
| Re: Are You Externalizing Your Problems? by esere826: 7:10pm On Oct 06, 2013 |
pickabeau1: True dat.. I'll adress that soon. My plan is to open two other threads: -one will talk about how those that have externalized their problem should be aware of what they are doing and could reduce the impact on the other part -the other thread will suggest ways that the parties that are carrying other people's 'problem' can manage the relationship I plan to use house guests as my 'case study' |
| Re: Are You Externalizing Your Problems? by pickabeau1: 7:14pm On Oct 06, 2013 |
Cool.. Put the thread links here |
| Re: Are You Externalizing Your Problems? by Feraz(m): 7:45pm On Oct 06, 2013 |
esere826: 1) Sweeping the roads and then throwing the garbage into drainagesHow about throwing banana peel on the road while travelling knowing how slippery it is and that is is likely to cause accident for oncoming vehicles? Nice write-up |
| Re: Are You Externalizing Your Problems? by esere826: 8:07pm On Oct 06, 2013 |
Feraz: Yep, this fits in perfectly someone tries to clean up his car space from banana peels garbage, smell and tripping probability throws it out carelessly for someone else to suffer all the problems he does not want to suffer |
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