Last three months or so,I made all nairalanders to know of my bid of raising this seemingly impossible capital ---N100 billion!
This was followed by howls of protests,abuses,criticisms,torrents of negative comments that causes noise in my brain.Everybody was telling me why I couldn't do it.I understand their comments.Raising even a million naira is hard even in New York,the financial capital of the world.So,i understand people's comments.Some of them think I'm a scammer.Well,I am.But,to the investors I seem to be the best guy they've met.I have told them my plans,I showed them my partners(both in Nigeria and abroad) and they know that we are meeting for business.Serious business.The reason people think I'm a scammer is because we are in a country peopled by 95% scammers.Most young people see the internet as a means to steal from people.And I'm a 26 year old under-graduate from University of Port harcourt who is not even rich.....but has a big dream.The dream to raise $1billion....or N150 million naira or N100billion!
All these figure centre on a billion,so no qualms.
So,let me ask why you,the reader,should invest in my private equity fund confidently.
Afterall,why would I buy the story of this 26 year old undergraduate,you would ask yourself.If I were me,I wouldn't invest in my fund until I know why.
So,let me tell you why.
1.I had wanted to start my own fund ever since I read the story of Warren Buffett(world greatest investor).I wanted to start my fund at the age of 12.That was in 1990 during the biggest stockbubble in world history.Small computer geeks like Dell,Bill Gates,Anita Roddick,Sergey Brin and Larry Page got rich alongside with big Money Masters like Steve Cohen,Swarzzmann,Warren Buffett,George Soros e.t.c got rich.I was jealous.I wanted to break all their records.I wanted to be the richest kid in the world.I was dreaming,sweating,thinking,reading all sorts of financial magazines.I got access to the above information from my friend's uncle.His Uncle was a financier,either a stock broker or something.I can't remember.I read financial papers like a mad boy.I wanted to be rich.I still read them today,I'll continue to study the smartest strategies of investing till I die.
Until something hit me when I turned 18.I found out that all these men that made these sort of mega cash either helped others made money or give others value.
I know I can't make money without helping some other people make money.
2.I employ the advice of Goldman Sach,the best financial advisors in the world.It's also the world's biggest bank.
The reason I do this is because I want to employ the best expertise in Nigeria.So,my plan involves having an brainpower edge.(This is what I really tell investors).My plan stands out from the plans of other fund managers who raise money and invest in boring investments.Investments every other fund manager is investing in.
3.I am working on garnering financial bigwigs of this country to act as my partners and as members of my board of directors.I have tried meeting big names like Mike Adenuga,Dangote,Soludo,e.t.c .I worked with brokers and other partners to get access to these people.....but I failed.I have failed in.doing this.I have tried to meet big names in our financial scene and failed.I tried to get a press release and failed.I tried to raise at least N10b by now and failed.Only a few partners secured me a N3m fund.I have an anonymous investor who wants to put N28m,my friend's friend who knows how passionate I am to this venture said he could connect someone to wire N100m.....(wow! I am fasting for that)...but he wants to put 12m of "his own money" even though he's paid N200k + a month.May be he'll get it from the bank.I don't want you to believe me.I just want you to meet my team of advisors.If you don't like me,or my advisors,don't invest!
3.I will be lending to distressed businesses.If they default,I claim their assets,and sell them for profit.
I want to revolutionalize the banking industry.I want to make banking sexier and more profitable.I study this everyday.
4.I will be investing in start ups!
Trust my skills,I know startups in Silicon Valley that havw a higher chance of becoming the next facebook.But I can't guarantee this.So,only 10% of my fund money shall be allotedto startups.
5.I will be investing in distressed real estate abroad.That is what Blackstone,the best private equity in the world,is investing in.Why shouldn't I invest with the smartest investors?
6.Complex debt instruments......That's for Morgan Stanley.

Ok...battery low!

Mr. Umoren, i can see you have some prospect, but you are pushing it in the wrongway... I'm one of the people that bullshit the idea initially... Check Buffet's story again, he first managed his funds, then managed others when they saw his prospect as a whizkid...

Before any real Investor(Not speculators) can believe in you, you will have managed funds that have history and financial records...

I do the same thing you want to do and i invest my funds myself hoping to have a networth of 100million before inviting others to join me in making wealth...

In Yoruba land, we believe in following people that knows the way and have gone through the way several times...

About raising $1b, just accept the little coming your way for now and build with it... Any other thing, you will just discover that you are 46 and still hoping to meet Dangote and Adenuga. In case you need to meet them, i will be happy to help in giving you strategy to that effect.

#IFSOMEONEPROMISETOGIVEYOUCLOTHESYOUFIRSTCHECKHISOWN#

At 1990 u were 12 but now u are 26. So impossible

this story is nt meant 2 be 4 d joke section........dis guyz iz a story teller i wonder hw many years it took 2 compile diz whole epistle.....

Yeah itz in d joke section....that's why I'm receiving funny comments........it was a mistake on my part

@olushowunm......I hv successfully managed my dad"s 12m pension fund when he retired from NPA.........I made profits consistently.I also build my own small business.I started managing his fund when I was in my SS3....when I got into the University,he redrew his fund and asked me to stop my business,which I did.He did these because he wanted me to concentrate in my studies.I understood him and got focused.Now,I'm back to follow my passion!

na which kind moderator put dis for Joke Section, dt mod must be high in Alomo Bitters

OK...