“You are your choices.” ~Seneca
Lately I‘ve been feeling a bit down in the dumps. A
few things have happened at work to make me feel
like nothing’s going my way.
I’m guessing that pretty much everyone
experiences weeks like this from time to time. You
know, where it feels like the whole world is against
you. No matter what you do, nothing goes right.
This has been my life for the past few weeks.
And my initial reaction was to feel sorry for myself.
To retreat to the safety of self-pity where nothing’s
my fault—it’s simply the world ganging up on me.
And then like a lightening strike out of the blue,
amidst my dark cloud of pity I had an epiphany:
I have a choice.
Instead of reacting in a way that renders me
helpless, I have the choice to pick myself up, dust
myself off, and turn those negative thoughts into
positive ones.
When it comes to filtering our thoughts, even
though at times it may not feel like it, we do have a
choice.
Just because some of our thoughts are
negative doesn’t mean we have to listen to
them.
Did you know that our brains produce 70,000
thoughts every single day? Just imagine trying to
take action on every single thought—all 70,000 of
them. It would be pretty much impossible, right?
In fact we actively “filter” our thoughts pretty
much all the time. Our brains are constantly
deciding which thoughts are useful and which ones
to ignore. So when a negative thought pops into
our heads, we do actually have a choice.
Either we listen to the thought and allow it to
trigger a whole host of other negative thoughts, or
we decide that we have better things to do in life
and we ignore it.
The truth is, you are not your thoughts.
Think about it. The thoughts you have inside your
head do not reflect who you are as a friend, partner,
parent, or worker.
This is an important point.
So many people get caught up feeling sorry for
themselves or worrying without even realizing it!
And then they beat themselves up about it when
they realize the negativity of their thoughts.
But here’s an interesting fact:
Most of the thoughts that roam around our
heads are completely inane and useless!
Your thoughts do not make you a bad person,
because guess what? Your thoughts aren’t
real. They are just fleeting ideas that you can
control if you take the time to learn how.
It’s pretty obvious, but the way you handle your
thoughts will massively impact your life.
Those of us who get caught up with spiraling
negative thoughts when things don’t go our way
will find it hard to progress in life and get stuff
done, as we’ll be dealing with things like fear and
anxiety.
Whereas those of us who work at “controlling”
those thoughts and reactions to difficult situations
in life will find it much easier to achieve and be
happy.
Imagine if you escaped the arms of self-pity and
negativity and converted most of the thoughts
inside your head to positive ones. Imagine what you could achieve!
So what can you do to tame your negative
thoughts?
1. Be aware.
Notice next time you experience a negative
thought. Often we are so “in our heads” that we
don’t even realize that we may have spent the last
20 minutes in the throws of self-pity or worries.
2. Keep calm.
Try not to have an emotional reaction to any
negative thoughts that pop up. Remember that you
are not your thoughts, and try to distance yourself
from them.
3. Catch the first thought.
If you can catch your negative thinking early on,
then it will be much easier for you to stop it before
it escalates into a big problem. Often something
that starts out as a minor problem ends up being
completely blown out of proportion.
4. Assess if the thought is true.
Most negative thoughts are not based on reality. So
ask yourself, “Is that thought 100% true?” Usually
this will help to break down the meaning of the
thought.
5. Look for a positive take on it.
Instead of finding ways to escalate the thought, do
the opposite and look for ways to prove that the
thought is not true. For example, if you’re doubting
your capabilities you could look for an example of
someone else who has achieved in this area. If
someone else has done it, then what’s stopping
you?
6. Don’t beat yourself up.
You are not your thoughts. Resist the urge to beat
yourself up when you catch yourself thinking
negatively. Everyone has negative thoughts from
time to time. Just be aware and choose not to listen
to all of them so you can get on with living your life.
Today, take power back from your negative
thoughts, and see how much more you can
achieve!
tinybuddha.com/blog/6-tips-to-tame-negative-thoughts-for-a-less-limited-life/