When making a life decision or just going about life in general, do you act according to what your parents would think of you? Or, do you value your opinion of yourself above theirs?

YeS!!!! I do stuffs Cuz i wonna do it not Cuz my parents want me to! they can Only give ther Opinions and Suggestion but that doesnt mean I've got to stick to that and nothing else afterall it's my life not theirs

I would Consider their decision thou but i wouldnt do it if it doesnt Suit me,

Considering the selfish decisions that my folks have made over the years and how it has affected me; I would act on my own volition. I think I'm beyond caring about what they think.

Lmaooo luna that actually made me laugh '' the selfish decisions Of ur parents??

Yes. Parents can make the most selfish decisions going.
You have to experience it to understand.

esp if they're ''[i]influentia[/i]l''

Exactly. Parent's make selfish decisions to; save face, satisfy their own needs, control everyone else's lives and many other reasons.

Sometimes I look at my parent's decisions (past and present) and it just makes me sick.

I know what U mean gurl , I just Hope mine do not Cause any trouble when im bout to marry Or when Im older I'll move Out

Some parents are just wayyy tooooo Sumtin! what do they even gain from it?? it just makes the Child UNhappy!

You know! Some parents just cause wahala for their children or get involved in every thing.
Waht makes me the most angry is when parents try to live vicariously through their children. it's just disgusting.

the selfish decisions Of your parents
it actually sad cos am in a messed up state b'cos of that.
but whatever

cos they think its right/wrong for their selfish reasons or thier unfortunate past.
if it about me, i would only consider and not accept thier views afterall i am the one feeling the inside of ma shoes

Parents just do not want you to make the mistakes they did.
my daughtes can talk to me on any topic . I give them advisce .But then i let go .
That is the problem most parents have they do not know how to let go. Some mistakes have to be made.
Only when it comes to their safty i put my foot down.
If my daughter stays out late , i will want her to come home with a friend or sleep over at a friend. even if this friend is the boy friend. Then who can take more care of her.
If I find her dress too short i will like to know who is bringing her home.
But i do not take desions for my kids . down to the last one 10 years old, then i feel they know what they want.
And it starts with the food they eat. Everyone eats what they want as long as they can cook it themselves.

Okay mamaput - what did that all have to do with this? i'm so confused.

@mamaput
you are obvoius a "year 2000 and something Mother"
the older ones and some self centered parent wont act like that.
They sure would critisize you ways
keep it up

Am looking at it from a parent point of view @ lunafish My mum fell sick when i was 23 and i was never close to my dad so my people never had an influence on me.
But if my mum (may she rip) would have to this day had a big influence on me.
because she was the kind that would not let go,

You say your parents want to live through you . Maybe they just do not want you to make the mistakes They made.
maybe they want youz to be better than them.
maybe they still see you as there "baby" and cannot let go.

Do I act according to what my parents want? Well that's what they wish. I mostly care about my own dreams.

Much of what we call love in the family is simply manipulation. My parents are the only ones who have provided tangible help to me when I was in need, either directly or through their friends, so I probably love them. But they can also be very manipulative, and they can also be counted upon to oppose any form of progress I want to make in my life if the idea is not from them. Some people why I don't expect criticism from friends. Well I get enouh already!!

Parents love to embrace with one arm and stab with the other. So I try to subject any feelings for them to rational scrutiny. I do not allow myself to be pressured into doing anything. I reject the idea that there's anyone who wants the best for me more than I want the best for myself. I trust my judgement more than that of anyone else. Sorry if you disagree.

yes i care about what my parents think of me. they love me no matter what and i know they alwayz want the best for me and though sometimes we may not agree on things it makes me feel good to know i got their support.

I will do what i know is best for me and evn though they might agree i know they still gon support me.

i dont know the kindda of family some of you have but imm@ say, i love my family to death and i really care about what they think. they know what i can do and what i dont like so they respect that. i inherited my fathers stubborness so dey know how disasterous i can be when im mad.

they respect me enough to tell me only what they think is true or right but if i say i aint doing it, they back off without much pressure. everything they have told me since i was growing up has been useful and dats y i listen to them. i take whatever they tell me and i sleep over it. if it is true, i will do it. if it aint, i will tell them i am not doing it and i will give them my reasons.

my parents can be stubborn sometimes but ever since i turned 17 and started handling issues on my own, dey pretty much let go off my tail. they know i aint a dummy and i dont swallow whatever they throw at me. whenever they throw the wrong one, i catch it like Peter Rufai and throw it right back at them. kapish.

Diddy4, please don't misunderstand me. I love my parents very much, just like you love yours. Please o.

i understand you perfectly. i know u love them. no arguing about that.

To a certain extent, yes. My parents are not the type to "disown" you or get angry if you don't take their advice (unless it's something they really feel strongly about) and it's made me appreciate them much more. One thing they rarely do is say "i told you so" if you ignore their advice and what you choose to do turns out wrong. A lot of Naija parents like to gloat when their children make mistakes after ignoring their advice ("Shebi i told ehn. You did not listen to me. Now look at your life" ) I find this immature and i'm glad my parents don't do this cause it makes me respect them even more.

When making a life decision or just going about life in general, do you act according to what your parents would think of you? Or, do you value your opinion of yourself above theirs?

When going about life in general or making life decision, I value my parent's opinion more than mine or more than anything because i know they always want the best for me. They are my best friend. They are a mixture of old and new skool and I'm like that as well.

I do have a mind of my own but it's just too similar to my parent's, hence i tend to act as they would. When we do disagree on things, i give my resons and they give theirs (insight). Which ever one decide on i get their full backing.

I have to say my parents are not too bad in this regard, my father will tell his opinion on stuff empahsis on the word opinion, whilst my mother call it advice but they always their piece and back off which works fine for me. I do know that sometimes they don't like my decisions but they don't question it afterall as my father will say " it is he who wears the shoes that know where they hurt"

it is he who wears the shoes that know where they hurt

For your father to be able to admit that to his children, he must be a very wise man indeed. Are you last born?

naijababe:

" it is he who wears the shoes that know where they hurt"

That's a beautiful and profound thing to say.

i dun care wut ma dad thinks. . .buh he supports wuteva decision i make coz he knowz ill alwayz do wutz right

@ Seun actually i am sixth in line to the throne, my dad can be too realistic sometimes

nope,i dont care
cos i wont enjoy my young life

I care but not always especially
when it comes to choosing ma spouse.
Ma parents can be such a pain in that
area. Their standards are so high in
everything. They expect more from me than I can give.
I really dunno how to cope anymore. . .

@mamaput. I love your parenting style.
I really used to care (Heaven, earth and then some) about what my parents thought of me, but as I grew older, I seemed to loose some of their trust (especially my dad) for no apparent reason, and that REALLY made me mad. Until that moment, to the best of my knowledge, I was the perfect son. Since I realized this, I stopped caring.

Maybe because I’m a guy and he knows the kind of things he did at my age (most of which I haven’t even done)…, whatever…, i couldn’t careless now.

I think we will all wounder at what our parents did.
Some of us forget they too were born and grew up.
They did not appear as ready made parents

yeah, i value parental counsel but its got to be taken in the light of a lot of other facts and in a well-balanced out scenario,

cos, some parents can be so
1. possessive
2. overprotective
3. dogmatic
4. authoritarian to the point of being bullies
5. uninformed

that they make you act out their scary movies or try to make you live out their dreams all by yourself.
your brain becomes a steering wheel being pulled in 12 different directions at once?!

I once knew a dude whose fiance wasn't allowed to marry him for like 5yrs as a graduate and the guy as a successful lawyer, and why? because, they were insisting on continuing the silly notion of their daughter not being a 'liability' to "any man", she married him @ the "young" of 34 with the guy knocking 40; just to satisfy whims and caprices and that their misplaced aristocratic sense of vanities.

remember Romeo and Juliet etc etc; their generations was sacrificed to the silly subjective struggles of their near-senile parents. Its happening all around, its best to be watchful.

on the other hand, your peeps can sense a lotta stuff you can't, they've being around you and have been there with and for you all these while, many times its best to run things by them but just know your own mind and conclusions sha.