It was on a good Sunday evening after a very hot sunny day. I have been asleep since noon, I woke up and took my bath wore my brown combat chinos and blended it with my black and white all stars snickers (one in town). I grabbed my new yellow ralph lauren polo (I was lablled 'ralph's kid' just cos of my love for polo ralph) top and slammed it on.. I walked (bounced) out of our face-me-i-face you compound feeling like a star while popping my collar and getting the dirts off my shoulders. As I materialised on the street which is a very busy road, all eyes was on me which makes me feel more special.... I was still a bazist (cigarette smoker) at the time so as I got to the junction I walked straight to mallam musa's kpako kiosk "ya mallam musa bani benson guda daya" (means: mallam musa give me one benson), I said as I stretched my long hand and grabbed the pack.. "Nawa kenan zaka bani!?" (Means: how much did u owe me now) Mallam musa said with a sad like face. "Haba mallam, hundred naira mana, ban manta ba aiy" (aah malam, I owe hundred bucks I no forget na), I said as I spark the light on the cigarette and bounced off.. "Idiiot aboki, because 1 cigar nahin he wan embarrass me for public" I said to myself as I blew the smoke in the air feeling refreshed inside.. I walked straight to next street to meet my friend so we can go to our normal spot to chill since it's weekend... I got to my friend's house and met another friend we both waited and talked till the other guy finished and we all rolled out like Ludacris.

We headed straight to the barracks, Dodan barracks precisely. We enter through the main gate and down to the barracks mammy market where there were different shops from food sellers to beer parlours etc etc... We normally drink pami mixed with stout or legend but that day my friend came up with his crazy idea, idea that I wished he never came up with.. "Guys how far wetin we go drink na, pepper no too rest oh" friend A said waiting for suggestion... "Omo me too no to strong oh, make we just form voltron drink 2 set waka na" I said as I looked both of them.. "Guy 2 set no go high our 2 na, abi u don forget say boys dey high like say tmrw no dey!" Friend B said. "Ok make we go drink burkutu na, dat one no cost and all of us go high well-well" said friend A. "U dey mad, dat tin wey na old old men dey drink nahin u wan make we take? Abeg I no dey oh" I quickly disagreed. "Because old men dey drink am no mean say young boys no fit drink am na, I don try am before and e mek sense" friend B said convincingly.. I have never tasted that stuff in my life but so I was left in a state of dilemma. I wasn't having much on me so I had no choice than to follow suit. So we all walked straight to the rugged burkutu joint.

What is Burukutu?.

And na u still go prison d oda day.... Shei na b4 or afta prison u tatse d burkutu..... I fear u oo... Remind me not 2 break ur sistas' heart....

we use it in Boori ritual.

So wetin consign us

Vladm: And na u still go prison d oda day.... Shei na b4 or afta prison u tatse d burkutu..... I fear u oo... Remind me not 2 break ur sistas' heart....

Hehehe as in eh

As we walked towards the joint, I can sight from afar, men red-red eyes. Eyes wey be say you fit take light that kain fela type-sized igboh. If nepa take light now u no go need torchlight for where dat kain eyes dey.. See men wey don jogodo finish, elderly men at that! I was shocked! There was a very big pot (in fact na drum) on a fire which is burning profusely.. Three shabby and dirty-looking women were around the pot turning a brown liquid substance which busy boiling inside the mighty pot. They (women) were all sweating profusely near the ever heated pot of burkutu that no way their sweat will not find it way into the damn drink. Benches were arranged under a roof a few distance away from the fire thou u can still feel the heat from under the roof.. Rough looking men were seated on the benches half concious. Some were sleeping already, while others were slumbering.. From their looks it's obvious they are either soldiers or mopols. They all looked like some monsters or aliens. Suddenly I felt a very cold fear from my head down to my spine but I controlled it.. "Make dis people no go change am for pesin for here oh, dis one wey there eyes be like mensurations" I thought.

"Fine boys, oya make una siddon na, shebi na drink una wan drink" one of the drunks said to us with a voice that sounded like the devil's. I felt like running away at that moment, "abi dem wan arrest us, make I escape now o" I tot. "Why dem go arrest una, wetin na do dem? No be drink na come buy?" A voice from my heard whispered to my ears.. "Na true oh, after all na our money we wan spend" I said to me as the 3 of us find a strategic angle where we can be observing as thing unfold and sat down.. "Madam give us one paint rubber" friend A requested.

Vladm: And na u still go prison d oda day.... Shei na b4 or afta prison u tatse d burkutu..... I fear u oo... Remind me not 2 break ur sistas' heart....

dis one don happen tey before I go federal palace hotel..

Which my sista heart u wan break?

Guys abeg time out.... I wan hussle here.. 31st night tinzzz loading 65%

I drank that thing in Saki like mad. It actually makes sense, sour and highly highing

experimentist: Guys abeg time out.... I wan hussle here.. 31st night tinzzz loading 65%

Na burukutu u go drink enta New Year abi??

The old looking woman came and dropped 5ltrs white paint container filled to the brim with the local drink. She also brought a calabash along, but we rather asked for cups and she return the calabash I came back with 3 plastic cups. "Chei, omo dis one na coco oh, na to go buy akara be dat oh" I said jokingly and everybody scattered laff. We all picked our cups up, there a smaller cup in d container which we all used to fill our cups up. I was hesitant to drink the stuff but my friends were busy gulping the kunu-like drink. "Omo na one day pesin dey die oh, if these 2 muntulas fit drink dis tin me sef go drink be dat" I tot within me as lift the cup to my mouth and gulped it up. As the liquid finds it way from my mouth down to the throat I felt like throwing up but as coded guy I maintained and acted as if the drink is ok. "So na dis kain tin dis people dey drink wey dey mek dem do like mumu" I tot as I lighted up a stick of cigarette to step the drink down...only one cup that I took and the world is already spinning.. I suddenly felt as if we were sitting upside-down. "Omo wetin dey happen na? Why we sidon like dis? Abeg mek una stand up make we sit down well" I said to mr A. "Hw we wan sidon again na, abi u don high?" Mr B responded.. "No oh I neva high oh, na u don high, u no see as dis men sidon well we com dey upside-down?" I replied. "Guy e be like say u don dey mad abi? Oya tek more drink" mr A said as he filled my cup up and passed it to me. I managed to collect the drink from his hand and almost poured it on the table. I drink it to half and dropped it on the table, no on an empty crate that we used as table... I drank about 5 cups of burkutu and I was maad high. I didn't know which way to go. I was confused, helpless and unstable. Then suddenly I felt my tommy started rumbling, "yeeee, omo I wan shyte oh, abeg mek una help me before I shyte for body oh" I complained bitterly but my friends kept laughing at me.. The thought I was joking until they heard a loud sound "gboooprapraprapaaaa" the sound echoed loudly and caught one of the soldiers attention. "Mmmmm, dis boy don sh'it for trouser oh!" D soldier man shouted.. "No oo oga I never sh'it oh, na only mess I mess oh" I apologised.. "Wetin mek u mess for here, abi u think na ur papa house u dey wey u go dey mess anyhow?" Another soldier said while he swung a dirty slap on my neck that I felt a small drop of sh'it coming down from my yanssh. "Ah oga abeg I no go sh'it, sorry mess again" I pleaded. My 2 friends were just laffin their dirty yansh out! "Una dey craze una no go help me beg oga abi" I cursed them but yet they continued to laff like some foools. They later decided that we go so I can find a place to drop my sh'it.. "Oya make we go big gutter make you sh'it, I get one wrap of igboh we kukuma smoke am there" mr B concluded. "Oya make we dey abeg before I shit for my boxers" I said as I walked-staggered holding my friend's shoulder. We got to the big canal known as 'big gur', I managed to pulled off my comabt chinos and hung it on a nearby tree. There were faeces everywhere in the big gutter cos the canal is behind a police barracks and almost all the boys in the barracks shyte in the canal. It has become a normal thing to shyte there. Even small children come to shyte there every morning leaving their own toilet at home. And u know how police barrack toilet dey be, especially dis particular barracks cos you can tell from the look of the environment.. I just wonder how falomo police barracks toilets will look like considering the view of the blocks in the barracks. You can see how dilapidated they blocks look when coming from falomo bridge.

To shyte at big gur, one have to be very careful. 1, you must watch your steps so you step on someone else faeces. 2, you have to stand on the edge of the gutter and bend ur a'ss down so u can be dropping your droppings straight to the canal. I found my way to the edge of the canal with only my boxers on. I was so drunk and high of burkutu so I was extra careful so as not to fall in the gutter myself. My friends just waited under the tree while wrapping there weed to smoke and also laffinn at me. "Na God go punish una 2 there, see their big heads them" I cursed them.. As I was shyting I also felt like I was flying before I could say jack I heard "gboooooaaaaaa" I fell inside the canal, the same canal that all the barrack brosses and children come to defecate.."Hahahaha, e don fall for inside sh'it oh" someone shouted I didn't even know the pesin cos I wasn't myself at the time. My friends rushed to my aid but it was too late. They brought me out with my whole body covered with shytes n stuffs...they later brought 2 full buckets of water and a medicated soap which I used to wash myself.. After washing I found a cool spot to rest my head, i requested for a wrap of weed and lit up to smoke away the pain...

THE END

Is this for real


shey.........u r amateur drinker.

PAGAN 9JA:


Is this for real


shey.........u r amateur drinker.

bro I no sabi burkutu, abeg just give stout and I will drink 99 bottles.

Hahaha

Interesting

I remembered my first day dem....
I was in school back then and one of my friend shigo calld me dat we need to high today cos of the dispensing practical test we wan do o...na so i follow am like sheep, along the road we saw one of our friend B, he asked us wia u people dey go dis morning cos ur wakawaka na trouble o, he joked. 'Na Burukutu house o' shigo answered 'o'boi e be lyk say i go join cos i neva drink am before' B said and we all trouped off to the BKT joint.
We dropped at the place, omo see d way guys dey embrace calabash of BKT(burukutu)...i took d first rubber and it was like this is $hit cos its not highing me at all. the i decided to banz on my B&H to balance up the equation (though shigo don give me Sk cos i be chain smoker back den), the next i could remembered was that i started dozing. Even my friend 'B' is already laughing and when we asked him what is the matter he answered that me and shigo too near him say he wan zoom us wit him eyes go far naw
I immediately reminded my guy not to forget our practical 'cos fail in practical is tantamount to faill in all. My people, as we enter laboratory, com see as people dey small and tiny for my eyez....anyway i manage to score 75% dat day but for shigo......he graduated a year after me