Story, story, (story). Once upon a time, (time, time!):

And so, it came to pass that, in the good old olden days, in ancient Lagos, a drunk that smelled like the Nigerian Brewery plc, ancient Iganmu, found himself next
to a priest on a molue (rickety bus). The drunk’s shirt was stained with Guinness stout, his face was full of bright red lipstick marks, and he had a half-empty
bottle of ogogoro (i.e. Sapele water; Craze-Man-In-De-Bottle; Agbagba; MOPOL Fanta; Kinkana; Akpeteshi; Push-Me-I-Push-You; Abua 1st Eleven; etc) sticking
out of his shokoto (trouser) pocket. He opened his City People tabloid and started reading. A couple of minutes later, he asked the priest:

“Hic… hic-hic … Father, what causes arthritis? …Hic!”

“Mister, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your fellow man,” the priest replied.

“Imagine that,” the drunk muttered. He returned to reading his newspaper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, turned to the man and apologized:

“I am sorry; I did not mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?”

“Hic… hic-hic … I don’t have arthritis, Father,” the drunk said, “but I just read in the City People that Pope John Paul had arthritis. …Hic!”

That is the end of my first story for today.

Dude . . .I'm not catholic . . .but i have to say this . . .

You don't have repect for the dead, and more so . . . .In the person of PJP the II

May God forgive you becos if your judgment for this act was left to my decision . . .DUDE . .your Lineage would hear my name and run in fear . . .

Be warned. _{congratulation . . .the award 4 the most stupid joke this week goes to YOU . . .EPLURIBUS}

Revised Angelic Verses (RAV) translated from the Original Brokin Edition (OBE) of the Gospel According to the ravishing fourth wife of Prophet Abraham, from Agoyin Kingdom, in Ancient Dahomey, called Prophetess (Princess) Mojisola Gbenga-Ikelebe (alias Sissy Cotonou).

Story, story, (story). Once upon a time, (time, time!):
And so, it came to pass that, in the good old olden days, in ancient Nigeria, during a state visit to the world renowned lunatic asylum in Aro, Ogun State, General Okikiolakan Aremu Igbochukwu Matthew Olusegun Sikiru Obasanjo (GCFR; OND; JP) asked the Director of Psychiatry:

"How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?"

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient, and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said Baba Senator Iyabo (alias OBJ)."A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than both the spoon and the teacup. Right?"

"No" said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed in the presidential ward, Your Excellency, Sir?"

That is the end of my first story for today.
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APPENDIX 2:

Revised Standard Version (RSV) translated from the Original Brokin Edition (OBE) of the Holy Book of Psychedelic Lies according to General Overseer Ibrahim. Gbadamosi (Evil Spirit) Babangida (GCFR).

Story, story, (story). Once upon a time, (time, time!):
And so, it came to pass that, in the good old olden days, in ancient Oshogbo, a married man went to confessional and said to the priest:

“Father, I had an affair with a woman, em errr, ehmm, emmmm … almost. "

“What do you mean by 'almost'?” questioned Reverend Father Ogedengbe.

“Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then, I stopped.”

“Rubbing together is the same as putting it inside,” explained the Right Reverend Father Ogedengbe. “You’re not to go near that woman again. Do you hear me? Now, say five "Hail Mary"s, and put N5,000 in the box for the poor.”

The man left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the box for the poor . He brought out a wad of mint-fresh 1,000 naira notes, counted out five of the notes, rubbed them on the box for the poor, paused for a moment, and then decided to leave the church.

Reverend Father Ogedengbe quickly ran over to the man, and exclaimed aloud:

“I saw that! , Yes, I saw you … you didn’t put any money in the box for the poor! I caught you.”

The man replied:

“Well, Father Ogedengbe, I rubbed up against it and, like you said, it’s the same as putting it inside!”

That is the end of my second and final story for today.