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| Strictly For Feminists by Nobody: 4:45am On Aug 10, 2014 |
Is it weird for feminists to see marriage as an achievement?? An achievement is suppose to be an upgrade, right?? If marriage is an upgrade, wouldn't that suggest singleness as a downgrade? I had an argument with a friend and I was basically hating on a mutual friend of ours. I attributed the mutual friend's little fame to her husband and her father. In defense of our mutual friend, she started to list all the things this mutual friend of ours had accomplished and she mentioned getting married. This infuriated me of course and when I called her out on it, she said, "Getting married is an achievement and being single is also an achievement". This confused the heck out of me, and we went back and forth for almost an hour. I still don't get where she's coming from and I just wanted to know if I am the one missing something here. She accused me of being an iconoclast.  |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by pfijacobs(m): 4:56am On Aug 10, 2014 |
U go wait tire... Nor go marry... Dey find feminist.... Mstchew.... 9 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Nobody: 5:04am On Aug 10, 2014 |
marriagae is an achievment....for a man or a woman  |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Nobody: 5:08am On Aug 10, 2014 |
Ladystewie: marriagae is an achievment....for a man or a woman huh?? 'Speak' English please pfijacobs: U go wait tire... Nor go marry... Dey find feminist.... Mstchew....LoL, this thread is not an advertisement for a feminist spouse. Hiss your way back to elementary school and learn how to fvcking read. 8 Likes |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Nobody: 5:09am On Aug 10, 2014 |
it's an acievement for both sexes IMO BananaBender: |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Truckpusher(m): 5:13am On Aug 10, 2014 |
BananaBender: Is it weird for feminists to see marriage as an achievement?? An achievement is suppose to be an upgrade, right?? If marriage is an upgrade, wouldn't that suggest singleness as a downgrade?Shollypop just sharrap for once and concentrate on our wedding plan before I'll call off the whole thing.  3 Likes |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Truckpusher(m): 5:17am On Aug 10, 2014 |
Ladystewie: it's an acievement for both sexesSpeak feminist ideologies and her booboo will stand  |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Nobody: 5:19am On Aug 10, 2014 |
Truckpusher: Speak feminist ideologies and her booboo will stand Do not derail my thread dude. I really want answers. Go back to bed, Sniper wants you. 1 Like |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Truckpusher(m): 5:24am On Aug 10, 2014 |
BananaBender:Sniper wants me ,but I want you so bad you know. I really wanna spank the hell out of that feminist asss Back to topic......O yes, getting married and remaining married is an achievement ,you can't talk about what you've not gotten in your life. It's just like me waking up in the morning and be talking about Ferrari and Lamborghini all day long with what I've read only on papers like I own one. 6 Likes |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Nobody: 5:40am On Aug 10, 2014 |
Truckpusher: Sniper wants me ,but I want you so bad you know. No, that's a wrong analogy. Anyway, we don't even have to talk about marriage to address my question really. *sigh* Didn't I say strictly feminists??!! Oya, bye-bye |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Truckpusher(m): 6:02am On Aug 10, 2014 |
Hehe look who is here alone in this room with me. Mimi how nau?  |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Nobody: 6:06am On Aug 10, 2014 |
So what's your point?  2 Likes |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Nobody: 6:43am On Aug 10, 2014 |
Elantracey: So what's your point? Olodo! BananaBender: Is it weird for feminists to see marriage as an achievement?? An achievement is suppose to be an upgrade, right?? If marriage is an upgrade, wouldn't that suggest singleness as a downgrade? |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Kanwulia: 6:53am On Aug 10, 2014 |
Feminists do not see marriage as an achievement. We only see GOOD MARRIAGES TO SUPPORTIVE HUSBANDS AS AN ACHIEVEMENT!  Big difference. Marrying a cow IS NOT AN ACHIEVEMENT! Being single is not an achievement. Being single, happy and productive in life is an achievement. Big difference! Being single and spreading misery all over the world because of depression is not an achievement! 27 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by cc150615(f): 7:02am On Aug 10, 2014 |
Kanwulia: Feminists do not see marriage as an achievement. one lollipop sweet for u, op That's all the answer u need 4 Likes |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Nobody: 7:09am On Aug 10, 2014 |
Just to make sure I get you.... Kanwulia: So in this scenario, is it the catch of a supportive husband that is the achievement?? Wouldn't that translate to the fact that women that haven't caught a supportive/good husband are unfulfilled or somewhat less improved than those that have? Being single, happy and productive in life is an achievement. So, to you it is based on preference. If one wants to be single, being just that along with productivity and happiness makes them an achiever. On the other hand, if your goal is to be married, getting married to a supportive husband or a "good" husband is the achievement? |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by RoyalRoy(m): 7:10am On Aug 10, 2014 |
Kanwulia: Feminists do not see marriage as an achievement. Great analysis 1 Like
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| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Kanwulia: 7:19am On Aug 10, 2014 |
BananaBender: No comparison between a married woman/man and a single woman/man. Between a miserable married woman/man and a fulfilled married woman/man. . . . . Yes! A good marriage with teamwork is always an accomplishment, compared to those who have FAILED to achieve that! Not all marriages are healthy! Ask those who are in BONDAGE MARRIAGES where there are second-class citizens in their own homes! BananaBender: ABSOLUTELY! A content single person is always better than a miserable single person! YOU CAN NEVER COMPARE A MARRIED PERSON TO A SINGLE PERSON. . . FEMINIST OR NOT. Their experiences can NEVER BE THE SAME. They do not face the same challenges. Feminists or not. . . a woman has the same basic needs. . . JUST LIKE A MAN DOES! 13 Likes |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Nobody: 7:33am On Aug 10, 2014 |
Kanwulia: Ehen! This is where I am really going. The opposite of married is single, right?? LOL! If marriage (good marriage) can be seen as an achievement, that automatically translate to the fact that an upgrade was made. You took a step higher.......but from where?? Singleness? Even if you tell people that your goal is to be single, and you're doing a damn good job at that. No one says Congratulations like they do when you say I'm getting married. They(single, married) kinda, sorta, have this inherent comparison. You can't separate the two. If my friend had listed getting married as an achievement in a different context, where we were comparing our mutual friend's marriage to another person's marriage, then it would hv made sense. She mentioned the change in status as the achievement. I just can't see why the change in relationship status should be an achievement even if she has the best husband in the world. That's somewhat controversial. 2 Likes |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Kanwulia: 7:45am On Aug 10, 2014 |
BananaBender: This is not about SINGLE VS MARRIED! Don't try to make it so! They are 2 different levels! Neither an upgrade or a downgrade. They are 2 SEPARATE categories! BananaBender: Only in a poverty-stricken environment. . . where ignorance reigns supreme. You don't owe anyone any explanation on how you choose to live your life. When you start explaining. . . .you are feeling insecure and lack self-confidence! BananaBender: That is your friend's opinion. . .she is entitled to it! You stick with yours. Life is never a competition. It has nothing to do with feminism! 12 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Kanwulia: 7:47am On Aug 10, 2014 |
RoyalRoy: cc150615: Thanks! 1 Like |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Nobody: 7:56am On Aug 10, 2014 |
Kanwulia: Both of you share the same opinion anyway. I guess I'll take your advice and stick with mine  |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by red101(f): 8:27am On Aug 10, 2014 |
how is it not an achievement if you accomplish your goal to get married? so you are saying that people should not set a goal to get married? Maybe they are lonely and not happy being single so the change of status to having a partner is a cause for celebration. Divorce parties and ceremonies are on the rise now. you can google it. if it makes you feel any better to see people celebrating singleness and new found freedom.LOL |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Kanwulia: 8:38am On Aug 10, 2014 |
BananaBender: My opinion is different from hers. She sees an elevation without 'merits'. All she has is a 'label'. . . MARRIED! Being married is not necessary an elevation. There are many married women who do not even know where their husbands are 90% of the year. They don't even communicate! They are called 'MARRIED BUT LIVING SINGLE'! Every situation is different. 2 Likes |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Nobody: 8:42am On Aug 10, 2014 |
red101: how is it not an achievement if you accomplish your goal to get married? so you are saying that people should not set a goal to get married? Maybe they are lonely and not happy being single so the change of status to having a partner is a cause for celebration. I guess setting a goal and accomplishing it would make it an achievement. LoL, I just have an issue with calling either an accomplishment. It just doesn't sound right calling what a vast majority of people in a country do an achievement. Maybe my issue is why you'll set the goal in the first place,...............It just makes me uncomfortable when people see getting married as an achievement. |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Nobody: 8:45am On Aug 10, 2014 |
Kanwulia: Actually, I think you misunderstood me or I didn't explain clearly. She actually does see a merit cos the guy is a "good" guy or to use use your words, a supportive guy. We both agree that the guy is a great guy. |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Kanwulia: 8:46am On Aug 10, 2014 |
BananaBender: Okay then. That is her opinion. Na she dey wear the shoe abi? |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Nobody: 8:56am On Aug 10, 2014 |
BananaBender: You get a certificate for a marriage. Thats an achievement. When you escape a bad marriage and get a divorce, you get a certificate. Thats an achievement. Somehow being single does not weigh into this mix. Being single is as much an achievement as eating breakfast every morning. |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by RoyalRoy(m): 9:00am On Aug 10, 2014 |
onirugbon1: Mai Gemu....lolllz |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Nobody: 9:02am On Aug 10, 2014 |
BananaBender:hehehe don't I just love bananabender's fieriness? @topic; it depends on the preference of the individual. Some feminists see marriage as an achievement and some others eg me, do not see it as an acheivement. A person can support gender equality and still crave marriage maybe because she wants long term companionship from the opposite sex or because one of her goals in life is to establish a family with a husband and kids. It all comes down to what that particular feminist has set out as her goals in life.1 Like |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by red101(f): 9:02am On Aug 10, 2014 |
BananaBender: arghh are you a philosopher or something like that? I don't know maybe it's an achievement because of how it makes you feel. ex. celebrating your birthday, new car, graduation or newborn child, marrying someone you love etc. things that bring you happiness. |
| Re: Strictly For Feminists by Nobody: 9:09am On Aug 10, 2014 |
red101: LoL. No, I'm not. I think my problem stems from the fact that I think getting married should be organic. That is, it is not something you are supposed to set a goal for and then work towards. It should just flow naturally. When you meet the right person, it should just makes sense that you guys go to court and sign that paper. Or maybe I have met too many people like Onirugbon1 that I am 'unconsciously' on the defense when I hear people call marriage an accomplishment. |
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