ADMISSION! ADMISSION!! ADMISSION!!!
University of Heaven (Uni-heaven) is hereby requesting candidates to apply at our prestigious University.
Please note that any candidate applying must pick our new man form, and drop the old man at heart transformation hall in our office complex in Calvary. The forms are free due to the fact that our registrar, the Lord Jesus Christ had paid for it with his blood.
Any candidate who failed any of these faculty of grace's preliminary courses here on earth will not be shortlisted-Salvation, Sanctification,Spirit baptism.
Please note that any candidate with Satan Identification Number (SIN) will not be permitted at Holiness Highway, the narrow way that leads to the New Jerusalem Amphitheater.
Visit Calvary today to be shortlisted for the matriculation ceremony known as "Marriage supper of d Lamb" where old and new patriarch will be reunited. The final list will be released on the rapture day. We hope you'll make it then.
Signed.
-TRINITY