I get funny messages like the one below from criminals whose origin i dont know, you probably have seen a couple of these mails as well. What do you make of them? The ones are enjoy the most are messages from jobless spammers on facebook who request for "relationship" and require you to send emails to their email address.

Find some of my response below:

This one requested me to send her a mail

WETIN YOU WAN TALK WEY U NO FIT TALK HERE
ABEG NO LET ME VEX TOO MUCH FOR HERE O
LIKE SAY MAKE I THROW YOU KNOCK FROM HERE!!!

This wan want make i send mail, make she fit send my photo

no thanks. i am not interested. wht will i do with your pics?
i am d wrong person to play pranks with. i will make your acct public n get facebk to lock u out

This wan want relationship

wrong number
abeg me no get time for all this ken talk u no check my wall know say me no go get time for this kin tori
abeg shift commot for hia before i pour you hot water.

this wan say he like my profile

pls dont like my profile. bikonu
i say me i no dey interested. you no understand turinchi abi?
u wan make thunder strike you

Photo Credit: WikiHow.com

My Dear,

I know this proposal letter might be a pleasant surprise to you as we don't know ourselves before. I am from Central African Republic, now seeking asylum in Dakar Senegal under (Refugee Camp).I contacted you as a cause of my serious search for a reliable and trust worthy person that can handle a confidential transaction.

My Late father former owner of a Diamond Mining Company, but was assassinated by the rebels during the recent civil war in my country, and properties destroyed, but I narrowly escaped with some very important documents of (US$4.5Million) Four Point Five Million U.S Dollars deposited by my late father in a high financial company here in Senegal in my names as next of kin.

However, I'm seeking a trust worthy foreign personality like you to help me transfer this money pending when I will come over to your country for us to meet for investment of the money. Furthermore, I only want this to be done this way because your country is politically stable for any profitable investment, and I also want to add here that if accepted by you, you will serve as the original beneficiary of the money.

I feel confidence therefore, to introduce this offer to you, for your participation and all your assistance regarding this transfer, I have decided to give you 20% of the total money immediately the money arrive in your account. Therefore, you are requested to furnish me back immediately you receive this request to transfer this money from Senegal to your country resident account or any account of your interest.

On commencement of this transaction I want to let you understand that the future of myself depends solely on this money. So please keep this business to yourself only to avoid raise eye brow of any third party.

I am eagerly expecting your urgent response.

Yours Sincerely,

Joy.