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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke (7820 Views)
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Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 6:28pm On Aug 17, 2014 |
Ananse visited his friend kofi . Kofi called his wife and asked her to serve them drinks. when the wife was done with the serving, she sat down right opposite Ananse with her legs open. Ananse could not control himself so he enjoyed the view. when kofi went inside the house, kofi’s wife said to Ananse,”do you like what you see”? Ananse said YES. Kofi’s wife said ,”you can have it, but it will only cost you ghc 5,000, and Ananse agreed so they fixed a time, 12pm the next day when the husband kofi, will be at work. So the next day, Ananse came over at the exact time and they enjoyed themselves then he paid her. When kofi came back, this was what transpired between them: kofi: Honey was Ananse here to day? Wife: [AFRAID] yes kofi: At 12pm right ? Wife: [AFRAID ] yes kofi: OHH, Ananse my good friend, always keeping time … Wife: Honey, why do you ask? Kofi: He came over to my office this morning and borrowed ghc 5,000 from me promising to bring it back to you at the house by 12pm, so did he bring it ? * describe Ananse* Read more funny jokes here=> www.funnysort. |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 6:49pm On Aug 17, 2014 |
The sahara hunger Two christians were lost in the sahara desert on their way to Libya. One is David and the other is Christian. They were terribly dying of hunger and thirst when they suddenly came upon an oasis with what looked like an emirate with a mosque in the middle. David said to Christian “Let’s pretend as if we are muslims otherwise we wil not get food or drink. I am going to call myself Muhammad Gambo” Christian refused to change his name “My name is Christian and I wil not pretend to be what I am not. When they got there, the Imam of d Mosque received both of them well and asked for their names. David said “My name is Muhammad Gambo” Christian said “My name is Christian” The Imam turns to the helpers of the Mosque and said “Pls bring some food and water for Christian only. Then he turned to the other and said “Well Muhammad Gambo, I hope you are aware that we are still in the month of Ramadan? The guy fainted. 4 Likes |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 9:40pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped open, and every now and then, a $50 bill fell out onto the footpath. Noticing this, a cop stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $50 bills falling Out of that bag.” “Oh, rats! Darn it!” said the little old lady. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.” “Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop. “Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?” “Oh, no, no,” said the old lady. “You see, my yard is right next to the baseball stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through a hole in the fence, right into my garden. Then I thought, “why not make the most of it? So, now, on game days, I stand behind the fence by the hole with my shears. Every time some guy sticks his dingus through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, “O.K., buddy! Give me $50, or I cut off your thing!” Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing. “OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?” “Well, you know,” said the little old lady, “not everybody pays.” Read more funny jokes here=> www.funnysort. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 9:46pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
An old woman walked into an antique store and looked at a diamond necklace in a glass cabinet. Suddenly, she let out a fart (she polluted the air). She coughed, trying to disguise it, because a shop assistant was walking by. She then called the assistant over and asked how much the necklace was. The assistant replied, “If you just farted looking at it, you’ll shit yourself when I tell you the price!” Read more funny jokes here=> www.funnysort. |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 10:47pm On Aug 19, 2014 |
A small boy asks his Dad, "Daddy, what is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense." So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father having sex with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Shit". Read more funny jokes here=> www.funnysort. 1 Like |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 8:43pm On Aug 20, 2014 |
An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout "PRAISE THE LORD!" Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, "There ain't no Lord!!" Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for GOD to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted "PRAISE THE LORD. GOD I NEED FOOD!! I AM HAVING A HARD TIME. PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME GROCERIES!!" The next morning the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD." The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, "Aha! I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries, God didn't." The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and said, "PRAISE THE LORD. He not only sent me groceries, but He made the devil pay for them. Praise the Lord!" Read more funny jokes here=> www.funnysort. 1 Like |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 9:11pm On Aug 20, 2014 |
Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher: "can kids of our age have kids?" Teacher replied " NO Never!!" Boy said to girl : "see i told you not to worry!!!!". Read more funny jokes here=> www.funnysort. |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 10:27pm On Aug 21, 2014 |
Dad: Shame on you, Peter. Why did you hit your little sister? Peter: Well, Daddy, we were playing Adam and Eve with the apple and all. Well, instead of tempting me with that apple, she ate the thing herself! Read more funny jokes here=> www.funnysort. |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 10:30pm On Aug 21, 2014 |
Mrs. Peterson went to the doctor: “I’m terribly worried about my boy. He thinks he’s a chicken.” The doctor asked, “And how long has this been going on?” “Almost a year,” Mrs. Peterson replied. “Well for goodness sakes! Why didn’t you bring him to see me sooner?” “Because we needed the eggs!” Read more funny jokes here=> www.funnysort. |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 7:14am On Aug 22, 2014 |
A man entered a mosque carrying a brand new smooth machette and asked “Who is a muslim here?” The whole mosque went as silent as a grave yard. The man asked again, “How can a full mosque have no muslim?”. No one replied. The man then grabs the nearby young man and goes out with him and tells him, “son come help me slaughter my goat for I don’t know how to do it”. After the young man had slaughtered the goat, he tells the man that he doesn’t know how to skin it and that the man would have to go back to the mosque and get someone else to help him on that.The man returns to the mosque with a machete dripping with blood. When the Imam saw this, he immediately shouts “Praise the Looooooooord! The whole mosque responds,”halleluyaaaah!!!” |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 7:52am On Aug 22, 2014 |
From: The Boyfriends Association Of Nigeria To Girlfriends With regards to the meeting held today, the Boyfriend Association of Nigeria decided to go on a two months strike starting from 1st December, 2014. This strike is not to cause any riot or any form of breakup with our beloved girlfriends. We plan to use this strike period as a time for appraisal and re-dedication in our supposed relationship. During this period, all forms of communication (formal or otherwise) is allowed but all form of FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE will be put to rest. We assure our girlfriends that this supposed strike period, our commitment will be 100% and won’t be questioned, also, this period will not, WE REPEAT, will not pose a threat to the relationship. Full boyfriend responsibility will resume on the 1st of February, 2015 to enable both parties plan for the upcoming valentine(14th February, 2015) . We thank our girlfriends for their anticipated “Good Behavior” during this period. Signed; Publicity secretary BAN 1 Like |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 8:48am On Aug 22, 2014 |
Some updates fit kill person: “To hair is human to forgive is design” “I hate guys with low selves of steam” “You are a blessing to your generator” “I am a soccer for guys with six park”. “My BB charger is no longer walking” “Anybody who supports this killings is a carnival” “Be magnified Oh Lord, you are highly exhausted” Read more funny jokes here=> www.funnysort. |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 10:32pm On Aug 22, 2014 |
An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors:green, red, orange, blue, and yellow. The old man just stared. Every time the young man looked, the old man was staring. The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?" Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son. Read more funny jokes here=> www.funnysort. 1 Like |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 11:18pm On Aug 22, 2014 |
Teacher: u know the importance of period? Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away. Read more funny jokes here=> www.funnysort. |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 10:57pm On Aug 23, 2014 |
“Johnny, where’s your homework?” Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. “My dog ate it,” was his solemn response. “Johnny, I’ve been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?” “It’s true, Miss Martin, I swear it is,” insisted Johnny. “I had to smear it with honey, but I finally got him to eat it.” Read more funny jokes here=> www.funnysort. |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 11:13am On Aug 24, 2014 |
Teacher: Do you know Why the chicken say, "Meow, oink, bow-wow, moo?" Akpos: He was studying foreign languages. Read more funny jokes here=> www.funnysort. |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 12:00pm On Aug 24, 2014 |
Teacher : Who is the President of Iraq ? Little Johnny : I don’t know Miss Teacher : You need to focus more on your studies. Johnny : Please Miss, can I ask a question ? Teacher : Yes. Johnny : Do U know Angela ? Teacher : No, why ? Johnny : You need to focus more on your husband Read more funny jokes here=> www.funnysort. |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 12:05pm On Aug 24, 2014 |
In a classroom Teacher asks a student to count from 0 to 10. Student : 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 Teacher : Where is 5? Student : Yesterday I heard in the news that 5 died in a car accident….. o_O Read more funny jokes here=> www.funnysort. |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 7:17pm On Aug 26, 2014 |
Two boko Haram boys, Habib & Akpo are making letter bombs. Habib: “I’m not sure whether I put enough explosive in this envelope before I sealed it.” Akpo: “Well, then open it and look.” Habib: “But if I open it, it will explode!” Akpos: “Don’t be stupid – it’s not addressed to you! Read more funny jokes here=> www.funnysort. |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Nobody: 6:21am On Aug 28, 2014 |
Good one. |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 12:12pm On Aug 29, 2014 |
“An abstract noun,” the teacher said, “is something you can think of, but you can’t touch it. Can you give me an example of one?” “Sure,” a teenage boy replied. “My father’s new car.” Read more funny jokes here=> www.funnysort. |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 12:13pm On Aug 29, 2014 |
Teacher: You aren’t paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing? Pupil: No, teacher I’m having trouble listening! Read more funny jokes here=> www.funnysort. |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 12:23pm On Aug 29, 2014 |
Teacher: Why can’t you ever answer any of my questions? Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn’t be much point in me being here! Read more funny jokes here=> www.funnysort. 2 Likes |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Gossiptunez(m): 8:27pm On Aug 31, 2014 |
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Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 6:38pm On Sep 05, 2014 |
Two friend went to prostitute's house for sex. The first one went in and come out and said "Nna my wife is better than her" The other one went in and come out and said "you are right o! Your wife is better than her" if u get the joke just "laugh it off" Read more @ www.funnysort. |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 6:48pm On Sep 05, 2014 |
This fucking stuff happen between a man and his wife. Man: my dear, it's like the light in the toilet is now automatic Wife: what happen? Man: when i open the door, the light came and after i urinated and close the door the light went off! Wife: Drunk idiot! Olodo! You have gone to urinate in the fridge again, mumu!!! Read more @ www.funnysort. |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 10:07pm On Sep 07, 2014 |
A bank manager confused with his maths, asked his secretary to help out, “I have $ 23,000,000, what will you take off to get 25%?” She replied “Sir, honestly I will take off my blouse, my skirt, my bra even my panties” Read more @ www.funnysort. |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 8:10am On Sep 20, 2014 |
The following conversation ensued between Akpos and his wife- Wife: Our maid is pregnant…. Akpos: That’s her problem Wife: Neighbours are talking… Akpos: That’s their problem.. Wife: I’m worried Akpos: That’s your problem Wife: They say it’s yours Akpos: And That’s my problem..!!! So keep that your fucking mouth shut Read more funny jokes @ www.funnysort. |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 8:14am On Sep 20, 2014 |
Akpos’ WAEC result is Finally Out. The following conversation ensued between he and his father: Papa Akpos: Akpos,I learnt your WAEC result is out. Akpos: Daddy, you remember Arthur who used to emerge first in our class at the end of every term ? he failed. . Papa Akpos: That’s terrible,what happened? Akpors: You also remember Izzy who used to tutor me in the house? He failed too Papa Akpos: what’s with the poor performance? Akpos: Daddy I don’t know. That’s how it is. Even Kelvin who won the Cowbell Science and Maths competition failed. Papa Akpos: so how was your own result? Akpos : You also remember Osas our senior prefect? He failed too. Papa Akpors: (Angrily) Boy, tell me about your own result!! Akpos : (angrily) If all those people failed, do you expect me to pass? Am I a wizard? Read more funny jokes @ www.funnysort. |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by Wapsam(m): 8:21am On Sep 20, 2014 |
Akpors buys a new Automatic BMW X6 sport. He drives the car perfectly well during the day, but at night the car just won’t move at all. He tries driving the car at night for a week but still no luck. He then furiously calls the BMW dealers and they sent out a technician to him. The technician asks, “Sir, are you sure you are using the right gears?” Full of anger Akpors replies, “You fool, idiot man, how you could ask such a question, I’m not stupid! I use D for the Day and N for the Night.” Read more funny jokes @ www.funnysort. |
Re: Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke by okwili419: 12:20pm On Aug 03, 2019 |
when will send more |
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