Ewoooooo :oAmaka has gone to the US who took her?na wa o was all I kept repeating as I remembered my best friend loud laugh.And my mama say make I stay do Nysc God forbid o.I see person wey wan carry me for free go she dey beg me to stay.Ibe is a good man naa person wey bust me 50k without shaking I never talk thank u finish e land me another 30k naim my mama say make I no follow go US abeg o.These words keeps haunting me each time i try to pick the pieces of my life together.I remember this day as a mother remembers her child always.Bestie is in lagos now with two kids and runs a fashion house.Mama is in germany for holiday as nester my kid brother sent for her.ibe who made me believe the myth of an american dream was seen last in texas as himself and his white wife made a surrogate mother out of me and had me deported back to Nigeria in the space of five years.My night meditation always is who is responsible for my wasted five years?Bestie did no wrong inviting me to her coursemate party where I met ibe,mama warned me as a mother about following a strange man to a foreign land,nester begged me not to leave as he promised to make a first class and get a good job which he did since he felt I was frustrated after making a third class out of school,Ibe told me repeatedly its my choice to make as he isn't going to force me to go with him.As my mind keeps giving me the job of who to blame my spirit keeps assuring me of a good tomorrow.So I decided who wins today as i ended the battle. looking at the mirror for the first time in two years I shouted down my mind wrapped the blame theory which engulped my head and threw it away and believe me it felt great,I gave my spirit the opportunity to lead me because its yearning for it I pray it makes me a better person Today, I decided my fate and that of my unborn generation I pray to make them proud with this choice .My family and bestie wants me back as all left when I became a shadow of myself and was comfortable being it.So I have decided to reach out to them as they are all have got and make my more years to come count SO HELP ME GOD.comments and critcisms are welcomed thank y'all.