[b][/b]They won’t let anyone limit their joy
When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from comparing
yourself to others, you are no longer the
master of your own happiness. When
emotionally intelligent people feel good
about something that they’ve done, they
won’t let anyone’s opinions or accomplishments take that away from them. TalentSmart has tested more than a million people and found that the upper echelons of top performance are filled with people who are high in emotional intelligence (90% of top performers, to be exact). So, I went back to the data to uncover the kinds of things that emotionally intelligent people are careful to avoid in order to keep themselves calm, content, and in control. They consciously avoid these behaviours because they are tempting and easy to fall into if one isn’t careful.
While the list that follows isn’t exhaustive, it presents nine key things that you can avoid in order to increase your emotional
intelligence and performance.
1. THEY WON'T LET ANYONE LIMIT THEIR JOY.
When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from comparing
yourself to others, you are no longer the
master of your own happiness. When
emotionally intelligent people feel good
about something that they’ve done, they
won’t let anyone’s opinions or accomplishments take that away from them.
While it’s impossible to turn off your
reactions to what others think of you, you
don’t have to compare yourself to others,
and you can always take people’s opinions
with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self- worth comes from within. Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain—you’re never as good or bad as they say you are.
2. THEY WON'T FORGET.
Emotionally intelligent people are quick to
forgive, but that doesn’t mean that they
forget. Forgiveness requires letting go of
what’s happened so that you can move on. It doesn’t mean you’ll give a wrongdoer
another chance. Emotionally intelligent
people are unwilling to be bogged down
unnecessarily by others’ mistakes, so they
let them go quickly and are assertive in
protecting themselves from future harm.
3. THEY WON'T DIE IN THE FIGHT.
Emotionally intelligent people know how
important it is to live to fight another day. In conflict, unchecked emotion makes you dig your heels in and fight the kind of battle that can leave you severely damaged. When you read and respond to your emotions, you’re able to choose your battles wisely and only stand your ground when the time is right.
4. THEY WON'T PRIORITIZE PERFECTION.
Emotionally intelligent people won’t set
perfection as their target because they know it doesn’t exist. Human beings, by our very nature, are fallible. When perfection is your goal, you’re always left with a nagging sense of failure, and you end up spending your time lamenting what you failed to
accomplish and what you should have done differently instead of enjoying what you were able to achieve.
5. THEY WON'T LIVE IN THE PAST.
Failure can erode your self-confidence and
make it hard to believe you’ll achieve a
better outcome in the future. Most of the
time, failure results from taking risks and
trying to achieve something that isn’t easy.
Emotionally intelligent people know that
success lies in their ability to rise in the face
of failure, and they can’t do this when
they’re living in the past. Anything worth
achieving is going to require you to take
some risks, and you can’t allow failure to
stop you from believing in your ability to
succeed. When you live in the past, that is
exactly what happens, and your past
becomes your present, preventing you from moving forward.
6. THEY WON'T DWELL ON PROBLEMS.
Where you focus your attention determines your emotional state. When you fixate on the problems that you’re facing, you create and prolong negative emotions and stress, which hinders performance. When you focus on
actions to better yourself and your
circumstances, you create a sense of
personal efficacy that produces positive
emotions and improves performance.
Emotionally intelligent people won’t dwell
on problems because they know they’re most effective when they focus on solutions.
7. THEY WON'T HANG AROUND NEGATIVE PEOPLE.
Complainers are bad news because they
wallow in their problems and fail to focus on solutions. They want people to join their pity party so that they can feel better about
themselves. People often feel pressure to
listen to complainers because they don’t
want to be seen as callous or rude, but
there’s a fine line between lending a
sympathetic ear and getting sucked into their negative emotional spiral. You can avoid getting drawn in only by setting limits and distancing yourself when necessary. Think of it this way: if a person were smoking, would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the second-hand smoke? You’d distance yourself, and you should do the same with complainers. A great way to set limits is to ask complainers how they intend to fix a problem. The complainer will then either quiet down or redirect the conversation in a productive direction.
8. THEY WON'T HOLD GRUDGES.
The negative emotions that come with
holding onto a grudge are actually a stress
response. Just thinking about the event
involved sends your body into fight-or-flight mode. When a threat is imminent, this reaction is essential to your survival, but when a threat is ancient history, holding onto that stress wreaks havoc on your body and can have devastating health consequences over time. In fact, researchers at Emory University have shown that holding onto stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease. Holding onto a grudge means you’re holding onto stress, and emotionally
intelligent people know to avoid this at all
costs. Learning to let go of a grudge will not
only make you feel better now but can also
improve your health.
9. THEY WON'T SAY YES UNLESS THEY REALLY WANT TO.
Research conducted at the University of
California in San Francisco shows that the
more difficulty that you have saying no, the
more likely you are to experience stress,
burnout, and even depression. Saying no is
indeed a major challenge for most people.
“No” is a powerful word that you should not be afraid to wield. When it’s time to say no, emotionally intelligent people avoid phrases like “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not
certain.” Saying no to a new commitment
honors your existing commitments and gives you the opportunity to successfully fulfill them.

gift01: If you can sit down and edit this properly, we would learn more. Don't rush. Its not a competition

no mind am,him think say na competition.

[quote author=slimjoe007][/quote]

[b][/b]critics........