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Please Help A Confused Brother. - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by bukatyne(f): 1:32pm On Aug 27, 2014
Nashville: Young man,

Life itself is a struggle and you need to keep on moving. Some of the most successful people you see today have had more disappointments than you; but the reason why they are so successful is that they never stop trying. Thomas Edison who invented the light bulb tried almost two hundred times before finally succeeding. Abraham Lincoln who is hailed as probably the best US President ever, lost close to thirty elections before becoming president. So you know what? You are not alone in failed attempts - but that does not mean you are a failure.

There is no strong force behind your failure. It probably just means there is something about that business you have not figured out. You may think your business plan is great, but I will advice you to show a trusted friend or relative about it and let them critic it for you. You may not even understand all the risks involved and that is why you have been failing in the business. Something is missing and you need help. There are a few options here for you.

1. Go back to paid employment - you were doing well and this is a sure guarantee of steady income. It may also give you more time to learn about the business and its operating environment so that you are better able to assess the risk involved. It is not necessarily giving up, its just like going back to learn more and besides you have bills to pay.

2. Form a partnership with someone else. This may seem like you are giving out your idea, but often times, one man is never an island. We all need help even in running our own businesses and you may find someone that will compliment your strengths. So he may be strong in the areas where you are weak. Nobody is Mr. Know-it-all and I think that may be your greatest problem. You might not know you need help but you do. So bringing someone else into that business as a partner may open new doors for you and also help you see some knew dimensions you have not thought of.

3. Get coaching and mentors. Building successful businesses is not always very easy. You need to talk to people who have been there before and learn from them. Let them tell you about the things you should watch out for. No business plan is perfect and you are already finding out now. Get experienced people to work with you and help you.

4. Don't give up on your dreams. This is the truth. If you feel you have a product to offer, then pursue it; but pursue it with sense. Give yourself time and do not rush. Doing business can be tough in Nigeria and you must ensure your family has enough to eat before venturing into it. Don't blame God or your wife. Your wife has been perfectly understanding and you need to thank her for that. You need to work on yourself and make sure you are well equipped to be an entreprenuer.

@Godmystrenght, I see you

My elder bro has spoken..

OP, I would say look into this advice and also go for special prayers. I like the fact you are a Christian and believe in prayers so it is easy. There are several facets and special prayers/deliverance will help because:

> It might be something you or wifey did when you were younger (Have you ever duped any one small or big? Did the person curse you? or pray in pain? You know some youths can be very naughty and take everything as a sport)

> Have you noticed such pattern in your family?

> It might be what your parents did in the past

> Did you inquire from God before starting the business? Getting the property you are selling? Renting your office space etc.

> It might be frustrations of the devil or someone not happy with your progress

On another note, you might not be cut out for business or it might not be time.

As for wifey, she is just been disappointed. You acknowledged earlier she was your pillar of support before she became discouraged. Don't worry, God will put smiles on your faces

Hang on, it is well

Please and please do not even think of cutting corners. Sorrow may last for a night but joy cometh in the morning Ps 30: 5b
Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by Godmystrength: 1:35pm On Aug 27, 2014
bukatyne:
@Godmystrenght, I see you
I do agree with his points and i hope to show it to someone by weekend....
Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by whyalwaysme: 1:39pm On Aug 27, 2014
Like I said. No one can ever fully understand.

For example I bought all my office furniture about 3 years ago planing to set up. Now they are still lying at home.
The physical part is at least 70% working another N1.5m my business is running at full steam.
I have the clients and the network.
Why do the big transactions stall when they are about to crystallize. In my business if a client is not comfortable it is obvious. However they usually bring along their lawyers.
Also I dont get duped all the time. I was duped of a large sum out of the client's error and another person' s greed. the money was meant to fire up my business.
Spiritually.I always believed that God rewards honest labour.
When I was in paid employment i never used to pay tithes but I was not lacking maybe because i was single. Deals were coming also. Going to church was occasionally.
However as I matured i got closer to God and started paying tithes, visiting motherless babies and also sowing seed. But it amazes me that now that I need his help Im seeming abandoned.
If you think I dont pray enough well I dont know if you are the judge of what prayers get to God.
But I believe that in your most sober and quiet time you can communicate with God.
I also believe that sometimes you can get a sign.
I have never got any sign. So naturally as a human being i ask questions. I then open up my mind to absorb knowledge from other facets of life to answer my questions.
In such situations do I get some strange yearnings.
I have a very open mind to learn and im never ashamed to learn new things.
Religion has blinded some people in Nigeria but if im being influenced by diabolical forces i will fight. If I need to relocate to chibok to be successful then I will do so.
I require realistic and intelligent answers to my issues like Eddlad' s.
I have since planned to diversify but the bulk capital still has to come from the business which I know best.but I have to plug the leak first before I make sure I can use the pail.
Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by whyalwaysme: 1:54pm On Aug 27, 2014
bukatyne:

@Godmystrenght, I see you

My elder bro has spoken..

OP, I would say look into this advice and also go for special prayers. I like the fact you are a Christian and believe in prayers so it is easy. There are several facets and special prayers/deliverance will help because:

> It might be something you or wifey did when you were younger (Have you ever duped any one small or big? Did the person curse you? or pray in pain? You know some youths can be very naughty and take everything as a sport)

> Have you noticed such pattern in your family?

> It might be what your parents did in the past

> Did you inquire from God before starting the business? Getting the property you are selling? Renting your office space etc.

> It might be frustrations of the devil or someone not happy with your progress

On another note, you might not be cut out for business or it might not be time.

As for wifey, she is just been disappointed. You acknowledged earlier she was your pillar of support before she became discouraged. Don't worry, God will put smiles on your faces

Hang on, it is well

Please and please do not even think of cutting corners. Sorrow may last for a night but joy cometh in the morning Ps 30: 5b


Pal,
I dont know.o. I bought all my furniture before I registered my firm. I just could not rent the office because it would start running so I had to quit 1st.
I cant say for sure but almost 100% sure not my parents they are very strict Christians. My dad was overpaid his pension by 45k and he went the next day to return it. He taught his kids the dignity of honest labour.
I got closer to God after I started a family but I have never received a sign from God.
I have asked Him for certain things which are not even material but they did not happen
Even in my most sober and when im closest to him.but being who I am. If something is not working i will ask questions. I dont move blindly.
Supposing i was supposed to be a Muslim or a Buddhist?
It may seem blasphemous but I like to have answers to my questions.
Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by bennyrazz: 2:09pm On Aug 27, 2014
egopersonified brought me to this thread, well tnks cheesy well I kinda of concur with the advise Nashville, Royalroy have giving. @Op, All I want to add is that, you need to find your calling. I don't think real estate is your calling/destiny. In Yoruba, they call it owo asela, once you find it, you will sing a new song and dance a new dance.
Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by RollingFella(m): 2:13pm On Aug 27, 2014
Blockus: OP...


I cant get past losing 2 Million Naira in your first business deal even with 7 years experience.. It may truly be a spiritual problem cos most people who lose such monies in business are those who go into business blind.

I think you should go get a 9 - 5 job and go back to the drawing board to figure out where you went wrong.



i slightly disagree with you. loosing money does not necessarily mean going into the business world blind. sometimes, your real business experience comes with some losess. Quite a handful of people believe that doing business is a sure route to financial emancipation, but business itself is an educational and lifetime strategic process whereby the the businessman gets better and more experienced with each transactions and business dealings. In business, you win some, you lose some. When you win some, you become more daring, courageous, strategic and more of a risk-taker. When you lose some, you re-strategise, re-organise, re-calculate the risks involved and review all unfavourable situations with a view of making them favourable.

@OP, building a business from the scratch requires a lot of 'balls and guts'. It is like swimming in an ocean without knowing the beginning and the end of the ocean. It requires a lot of sacrifices, unquantifiable faith and belief in God and your abilities. Also, if you are/were in a paid regular job, do not be in a haste to leave the job untill your business is solid to a reasonable extent, such that the proceeds can make you not to touch your salary for at least one year or more. As your business grows and becomes more establised, you gradually withdraw from paid employment.

At the moment, you can try and partner with any of your business friends in future deals pending when you will make some gainful recorvery. Partnering with your former boss in any future business deals may not be a bad idea, with both of you having a 'sharing formula'. However, in any partnership, try to make an offer that your potential partner will hardly refuse so as to make him/her to be more commited in seeing the deals materialise. Never mind if you offer a bigger portion of the 'sharing formula' to your partner. Remember also that if business is not your calling in life, your hustles may turn out to become 'long suffering'. You need to tap into the network of the almighty to get these revelation. Sometimes, its what we want and not what God wants.
Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by uglyogre(f): 2:25pm On Aug 27, 2014
even if you join those religion, you wouldnt fare any better. life is harder for some than others,for reasons i can't fanthom. but what i know is that when life goes spiritual, you should also go spiritual. God is greater than any babalawo, or astrologer or soothsayers. when i was going through my own challenges, i said it either i seek him, he hears me or i die in the process of seeking him afterall i had nothing to loose, i shut myself away from the rest of the world, i left behind every doctrine i had ever been taught, i left behind every success formula i had ever read, i went into fasting and prayer, i sought the face of God the way i knew, felt and was pressurized to, i prayed the whole of psalms. it was that God answered me or i die trying. My brother, it wasn't long my breakthrough came. i didn't need to visit any man of God(not that they are easily accessible anyway).Maybe you should do the same. this is the only way you know and it has got to work. this too shall pass

1 Like

Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by Nobody: 2:25pm On Aug 27, 2014
Read Jeremiah 33:3 If you really love God as you said you do, seek his face to know what is wrong or what you should do to prosper. Deuteronomy 8:18.

After reading your posts, I advise you to pray using the scriptures above. Obviously you have a christian background so you know how to pray.Using these scriptures ask God to show you what is happening and how to deal with it. Like someone advised particularly if you are in Lagos, go to MFM headquarters at Onike,Yaba or the Prayer City on the Lagos Ibadan expressway.
Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by bukatyne(f): 2:27pm On Aug 27, 2014
I understand where you are coming from

These things are not straight as an arrow and I was just trying to look at all angles

Can you go back to understudy your boss or work for him? (This is for you to learn the ropes while still earning something your family can survive on)

As for your kids' schooling, are there cheaper schools they can go to even if it is public (I know standard but at all at all na im bad pass) and you tutor later at night so that they necessarily do not miss any level and you withdraw them when you become balanced

When your wife says you taking steps to do different things, she will definitely come around


whyalwaysme:


Pal,
I dont know.o. I bought all my furniture before I registered my firm. I just could not rent the office because it would start running so I had to quit 1st.
I cant say for sure but almost 100% sure not my parents they are very strict Christians. My dad was overpaid his pension by 45k and he went the next day to return it. He taught his kids the dignity of honest labour.
I got closer to God after I started a family but I have never received a sign from God.
I have asked Him for certain things which are not even material but they did not happen
Even in my most sober and when im closest to him.but being who I am. If something is not working i will ask questions. I dont move blindly.
Supposing i was supposed to be a Muslim or a Buddhist?
It may seem blasphemous but I like to have answers to my questions.

1 Like

Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by bukatyne(f): 2:33pm On Aug 27, 2014
When there seems there is no light at the end of the tunnel, breakthrough is around the corner

Don't give up, don't join any shady stuff, don't go seeking answers in unsavory places.

And do not go fighting diabolical powers with diabolical powers if you find out they are responsible. (No house fights against itself)

whyalwaysme: Like I said. No one can ever fully understand.

For example I bought all my office furniture about 3 years ago planing to set up. Now they are still lying at home.
The physical part is at least 70% working another N1.5m my business is running at full steam.
I have the clients and the network.
Why do the big transactions stall when they are about to crystallize. In my business if a client is not comfortable it is obvious. However they usually bring along their lawyers.
Also I dont get duped all the time. I was duped of a large sum out of the client's error and another person' s greed. the money was meant to fire up my business.
Spiritually.I always believed that God rewards honest labour.
When I was in paid employment i never used to pay tithes but I was not lacking maybe because i was single. Deals were coming also. Going to church was occasionally.
However as I matured i got closer to God and started paying tithes, visiting motherless babies and also sowing seed. But it amazes me that now that I need his help Im seeming abandoned.
If you think I dont pray enough well I dont know if you are the judge of what prayers get to God.
But I believe that in your most sober and quiet time you can communicate with God.
I also believe that sometimes you can get a sign.
I have never got any sign. So naturally as a human being i ask questions. I then open up my mind to absorb knowledge from other facets of life to answer my questions.
In such situations do I get some strange yearnings.
I have a very open mind to learn and im never ashamed to learn new things.
Religion has blinded some people in Nigeria but if im being influenced by diabolical forces i will fight. If I need to relocate to chibok to be successful then I will do so.
I require realistic and intelligent answers to my issues like Eddlad' s.
I have since planned to diversify but the bulk capital still has to come from the business which I know best.but I have to plug the leak first before I make sure I can use the pail.
Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by crackhaus: 2:53pm On Aug 27, 2014
whyalwaysme: Its not even as if I dont get deals.
I get deals regularly such that i should never lack money and im am situated in a good location.
But why do these deals crumble before they crystallize?
Chronic near success syndrome caused by what?
You keep saying you get deals regularly, but they always crumble before they yield profits.
I gotta ask, how exactly do they crumble? What do your clients say is their reason for backing out?

Do you have any projects that have been completed by you from start to finish?

What exactly is your area of expertise in real estate? Are you an architect, an agent? What does the company you started focus on exactly?

These deals you keep getting, where do you get them from? Do you have a strong contact that secures projects for you?

I'm sorry about the questions, but if you can't answer all...just let us know exactly what your area of specialization is in real estate? You say you are a professional, so I'm assuming an architect... but please correct me if you will.

3 Likes

Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by Nobody: 3:21pm On Aug 27, 2014
Blockus:
**Me?! shocked shocked undecided undecided **

Have you ever seen me give good advice before?!

*Falls from the mat* cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by Nobody: 3:24pm On Aug 27, 2014
Op, i will say, dust your CV and go get another paid job. Then build up from there.

I don't believe there is any supernatural force hindering your progress. After all, you went doing badly when you were a paid employee.
Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by Nobody: 3:48pm On Aug 27, 2014
Phema: Op, i will say, dust your CV and go get another paid job. Then build up from there.

I don't believe there is any supernatural force hindering your progress. After all, you went doing badly when you were a paid employee.


babe, how is lil phema kicking? wink
and how ya body too? smiley
Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by whyalwaysme: 3:53pm On Aug 27, 2014
Thanks everyone,
Starting a business is not easy as many have stated.going to take a paid job is not a bad idea but for me it means going backwards not forward. Even If I will dust my cv I will select where I will work because i cannot work for peanuts.
I have to weather the storm. You can't blame me for thinking all sorts. The kind of disappointments i encountered were disheartening. I am only praying for just one breakthrough and I will diversify and still fuel up my real estate business.
If you aren't in it you cannot imagine the profits. Just one mega deal can make you for life.
The big ones dont come everyday but the small ones that pay bills are necessary. I have seven mouths to feed daily plus other expenses.
Madam is a big pillar of support but she is really really worried now.
I believe in myself and I believe that a major break will come but when? I hope not too late. Because i definitely will not regret.
Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by Nobody: 3:56pm On Aug 27, 2014
Smh @ I cannot work for peanuts lipsrsealed
I didn't feel this story right from the beginning. undecided
Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by Enahi(f): 4:06pm On Aug 27, 2014
@ Op Life is not a bed of Roses. Nothing good comes easy,you need to stop been negative in your thoughts. My advice for you is that you should speak life into your situation, our words are powerful. Proclaim what's rightfully yours in the morning and the evening. Speak words of positivity into your life and that of your family,change your thoughts from negativity to positivity. Don't wallow in self pity,it doesn't change anything. Always look at the bright side of every situation,always have a grateful and thankful heart towards God. Perhaps you also need to change your Church. Also search yourself,maybe there is something you ain't doing right.
Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by breathless(m): 4:24pm On Aug 27, 2014
OP, know that alot of men like you in and out of this forum are going through the same phase in their lives right now. I've discovered that in this part of the world, what we can't explain we mystify. There's absolutely nothing new or strange about what you're going through. You'll neither be the first nor the last. As christians, when we sing "Abraham blessings are mine", we forget the ordeals, trials and frustrations he went through. Someone once said you are not yet a failure until you blame someone or something for your predicament. That does not mean I don't share in your pains. I do because I know what it means to in this phase in a man's life.
Bros, lucky for you, your spouse has been supportive. I've seen marriages shattered because of issues like this.
Like someone suggested, take a paid job (that will help you provide for your immidiate family needs), then start rebuilding you business.
I guess you may have ommitted some steps in actualizing your dreams of self dependent as an entrepreneur. Its more than having the qualifications, experience, capital or a bankable business plan. I'm sure if you ran your business by the side while still in paid employment, you would be able to absorb this shortcomings and "failures" and learnt through the ropes and mistakes to make you a better business owner.
I have a friend who is a banker with same degree like yours but is doing his on the side. He's passing through the same road now but is not frustrated because his paid job is keeping the home front running.
Don't worry, your days of sorrow will be over sooner than you know. God bless you in Jesus name.

1 Like

Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by Nobody: 4:53pm On Aug 27, 2014
WHYALWAYSME you have one of the richest thread around in that it has many quality advice so i start by saying be silent and go through over & over again. You are a pessimist but pls become a realist(its define in a post above). Your name and attitude tells me what it is as much as i dnt take for granted your fears(but it wasnt so in paid employ). You went into this biz confident like titanic cos you you knew or thought you knew your capabilities. After first few failures you started seeing your fears instead of your God whom you think you r seeing. As long as you only see this force aftr you it will continue to be after you so shift your focus to God/success only not fear that may not be real. You did not consider in your plans that it may not go as planned or God's timing regardless of your specialities/competence or something(no one truly is sure of tomorrow). Get a paid job/another biz again so that when you start putting lil food on table your mind can be calm to know what next-wether to do it alongside your job for start, do it differently or even something else. Cast your pride/shame aside, yes your wife said a huge point. Start somthing else now.

1 Like

Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by davidif: 5:14pm On Aug 27, 2014
whyalwaysme: Dear Nairalanders,
I write this with a very heavy heart because there's not very much that is interesting to me anymore.
I am a professional in the real estate business and I am married with 2 very healthy young children.
I have worked for about 7years before I decided to work for myself. Armed with my experience, determination and a strong belief in God I went to work.but alas it has been disappointments all the way.
Right from the very start I was cheated of over N2million in one of my 1st transactions and the money was meant to be a huge support for my business and fall back for my family.
I devised a very good business plan before I branched out on my own but I have this nagging issue of disappointments.
I set up a transaction and everything goes smoothly until when it is about to conclude everything falls apart. This has happened several times and my wife who works in a financial institutions and has been very supporting kept telling me to relax that all will be well.
Friends, at times it gets so rough that we cant even eat and she will have to borrow or go to her sister's house to get foodstuff.
I pay my tithes and I pray and fast but the disappointments keep coming.
Recently my wife brought a transaction to me which would assisted in paying off some debts. I got a property which they inspected and and loved. They wanted to pay but my colleague who represents the onwer delayed getting the title documents until he had to travel out of the country for a week.
Just yesterday he told me that before he got back the owner had sold the property. I still tried to get an alternative but every other thing was way above budget.
I was so sad because it was a sure banker deal but it crashed just like many others sure bankers before it.
When I got home there was no food to eat in the house.my rent is overdue and my kids do not go to school anymore because i cant pay their fees anymore.
I called my wife to talk to her because she was demoralized that there was nothing in the house and before I could start to say a word my own pillar of support told me that I should look for something else to do that my business is not working. That it is like a basket that im pouring water into. I was so sad because she wasn't far from the truth. She was tired of stories.
Now I am almost convinced that there is a very strong force blocking my success. My parents are loners . Never keeping much company and retired from civil service and I cannot imagine who can be after my success.
I have cried to God so many times to pity me and at least for my kids sake open doors for me but each time I get disappointments.
Now I begin to ask. Have I been wasting my time? I love my profession I studied it in school and I have seen people become very successful and I believed that I can be too.but the disappointments are just too much. What joy does a man have when you put in honest labour and yet cannot provide for your family?
I have been tempted to sell my soul to the devil just to make my family comfortable but faith that God will turn things around kept me. Now I ask having been praying to my imagination? My own wife has lost confidence in my ability to provide.
I have asked God so many times but I have not even seen a sign. This has affected me that I have started indulging in habits which are not healthy and depression is setting in.
Why is God not answering? If I have a child and I do not provide for the child despite several pleas and the child steals to survive do I have any moral right to castigate him or her?
It is said no one knows tomorrow, how do I now know that tomorrow will be better? What happens if 5years from now im still chasing my tail?
I put in a lot of diligence and professionalism in my work but I feel there is strong outside influence derailing my success.
Please if there is any advice other than to pray please let me have it
Do not ask me to pray because I have prayed and I have been prayed for but I am faced with something bigger which i cannot see.
I need to know what I am up against because you cannot fight an enemy you dont know.
Please help.
Thanks

Bro, the advice i can give you is to watch this.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2YUaeyditU
Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by Nobody: 5:22pm On Aug 27, 2014
alutacontinua:
babe, how is lil phema kicking? wink
and how ya body too? smiley

Very well dear. Little Phema is a kicker. wink grin

Hope you're doing aii?
Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by whyalwaysme: 5:24pm On Aug 27, 2014
Friends,
Thanks for all the advice. I will send in my cv but will still work harder. To be a man is not a days job like they say
Thanks again
Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by chidekings(m): 7:01pm On Aug 27, 2014
funny but food for thought,how did u break up with ur former girlfrends?
Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by greatgod2012(f): 7:37pm On Aug 27, 2014
@egopersonified, your mention brought me here.


@op, what more can i say, so much, i mean very much has been said, it's now left for you to tap into the well of knowledge dug here.
So, keep on living, keep on hoping, remember that tough time never last, but tough people do.
It is well.
Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by ayando(m): 8:32pm On Aug 27, 2014
whyalwaysme:

I kept following but but all he kept saying was I will. Until he traveled.

Friends,
I thank you all for your contributions but. There is something wrong somewhere. I can feel it. In business you make mistakes and learn. In a situation where you follow a transaction carefully and surgically and yet it fails. A client suddenly backs out such that even other parties involved wonder what happened.
I never expected to be an overnight millionaire but start small and grow big.
I have clients and I get referrals regularly but I cannot imagine how 2+2 cannot sum up to 4 again.
This has gone on for over 3 years. I have cried in the dead of the night to God to provide for the kids he gave me and yet...I am not making progress.
Do I have to be fraudulent or diabolical to succeed?
Okay say I go back to paid employment how long to I have to work and what is the guarantee that I will not have a relaps.I am a very optimistic person but when a
Success is not easy but some situations are overwhelming.
. Don't dwell on your past failures, it creates fear in your thought which becomes a reality with it. You need to start renewing your mind. Am serious here. Secondly, don't dwell too much on your strength; do what is necessary and hope for the best. You need to employ the art of praises even in the midst of all these challenges. This is the difficult part because your mind will mock you and tell you how silly you are. This is the height of humility that will cause God to act. He has no choice but to act. Please don't be discouraged. There is so much force in the mental sphere, begin to project a positive outlook to your deals. We attract what we think of most. It is a force which we can't see. I pray you get the desired result and thank God for your wife.

1 Like

Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by nwababy: 8:48pm On Aug 27, 2014
Op, op, op eeh. How many times did I called you? Most people in their lives have passed through difficult period. There's no how you will describe your situation to be the worst of all. Many people are passing through tough situation yet they find time to smile. It will never be easy Never. You have to brace it like a man call your family together and keep be steadfast in God;there's nothing again you can do as a christian but to pray and believe. nothing good comes easy. Nobody here can give you the answer you're seeking for. You seem to knw the word of God use it and keep the faith. Do not relent. You're human, you will get to complain but after complaining pick your faith and keep trusting in God. One day, you will forget all your sorrow within a twinkle of an eye. That day is near just believe But remember it will never be easy!
Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by cococandy(f): 9:14pm On Aug 27, 2014
Pls get rid of the 'forces against me' mentality.

1 Like

Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by cococandy(f): 9:19pm On Aug 27, 2014
You already said it all.
egopersonified: .
Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by Nobody: 3:09am On Aug 28, 2014
How do you treat your clients? VERY IMPORTANT, are you one of those who want to make all the lost money at once? Do you go an extra mile and offer them something better another agent does not or are they just representing cash to you?

I am very particular about customer service, it doesnt need to be big but the smallest thing can make me change my mind even if we were just about signing a deal.
Recently hubby and I were about using one of your colleagues, we liked the person because he seemed decent enough and focused, we were about closing even though the charges were high when we added a little change and the person added such a high cost. As mouth offering as the package he was offering was I told Hubby I am not interested and hubby most times trusts my judgement and that was it for this person even when he came down later it was too late, I understand that business is about profit making but it is not on one client in one day that you make all the money, starting off is more about getting your name out there, making clients feel you are the best out there, getting them to depend and rely on the services you provide and getting references from satisfied clients.

Look inwards and work on what needs work, the moment you start looking for diabolical forces to blame you loose it as there are so many frauds out there who will read your contenance and totally defraud you of everything you have left in the name of fighting "enemies".

Another thing is always have a plan B, if it doesnt work after sometimes, take time off and get back into work, restrategise and replan. We all have tried one business or the other and have failed but it doesnt mean life ended, you pick up lessons grow and replan, even the best of us have had challenges.

I too have failed, but I knew why I failed and it was because of my own short comings and sometimes lack of understanding not because anyone was after me. During my very bleak periods, one "Prophet" came to an office I was perching in and started to "prophecy" that someone who I wasnt particularly close to in my family was a witch and hindering my progress, and I needed to sow a seed for deliverance to break the curse. I told him to be prepared to go and prove at a court of law the allegation of witcraft against my family member knowing its a crime, others were calling me mad because they knew my state and wouldnt understand why I wouldnt just go along, and I told them I will take responsibilities for my failures and successes and blame NO ONE ELSE. This was at my lowest of the low moments oh. I had NOTHING, even feeding well was a challenge, had like 20 units of PHCN light available so I couldnt even watch TV at home had to switch off the fridge periodically.

The next month my break through came. The darkest hour is usually the closest to dawn if I had now gone to dash that man money in the name of deliverance I would have given him the glory due to God, my own faith, prayers and sense of responsibility saw me through.

Take stock, stay calm accept errors and restratigise

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Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by damiso(f): 11:45am On Aug 28, 2014
aisha2: How do you treat your clients? VERY IMPORTANT, are you one of those who want to make all the lost money at once? Do you go an extra mile and offer them something better another agent does not or are they just representing cash to you?

I am very particular about customer service, it doesnt need to be big but the smallest thing can make me change my mind even if we were just about signing a deal.
Recently hubby and I were about using one of your colleagues, we liked the person because he seemed decent enough and focused, we were about closing even though the charges were high when we added a little change and the person added such a high cost. As mouth offering as the package he was offering was I told Hubby I am not interested and hubby most times trusts my judgement and that was it for this person even when he came down later it was too late, I understand that business is about profit making but it is not on one client in one day that you make all the money, starting off is more about getting your name out there, making clients feel you are the best out there, getting them to depend and rely on the services you provide and getting references from satisfied clients.

Look inwards and work on what needs work, the moment you start looking for diabolical forces to blame you loose it as there are so many frauds out there who will read your contenance and totally defraud you of everything you have left in the name of fighting "enemies".

Another thing is always have a plan B, if it doesnt work after sometimes, take time off and get back into work, restrategise and replan. We all have tried one business or the other and have failed but it doesnt mean life ended, you pick up lessons grow and replan, even the best of us have had challenges.

I too have failed, but I knew why I failed and it was because of my own short comings and sometimes lack of understanding not because anyone was after me. During my very bleak periods, one "Prophet" came to an office I was perching in and started to "prophecy" that someone who I wasnt particularly close to in my family was a witch and hindering my progress, and I needed to sow a seed for deliverance to break the curse. I told him to be prepared to go and prove at a court of law the allegation of witcraft against my family member knowing its a crime, others were calling me mad because they knew my state and wouldnt understand why I wouldnt just go along, and I told them I will take responsibilities for my failures and successes and blame NO ONE ELSE. This was at my lowest of the low moments oh. I had NOTHING, even feeding well was a challenge, had like 20 units of PHCN light available so I couldnt even watch TV at home had to switch off the fridge periodically.

The next month my break through came. The darkest hour is usually the closest to dawn if I had now gone to dash that man money in the name of deliverance I would have given him the glory due to God, my own faith, prayers and sense of responsibility saw me through.

Take stock, stay calm accept errors and restratigise

I agree with most of this and alot of other posters. Customer service and client loyalty are VERY VERY important people patronise from people they like and trust and sometimes you might have to make lil or no profit to build that loyalty and trust.


Don't give up hope brother It is well with you and sorrow may endure for the night but joy cometh in the morning.

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Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by Nobody: 9:28pm On Aug 28, 2014
fear is the number one problem and it robs one of so many things.
I dont beleive that there are any spiritual forces involved.
Life can be like that sometimes . . ups and downs

We do however miss what life is telling us when we go through tough times and what we are looking for in sokoto is in our trouser.

Businesses succeed and businesses fail
If you know the number of businesses that have failed even here in the UK, you will be surprised

Where is Woolworths, Blockbuster video, Habitat, Clinton Cards, Comet, Jessops today?
Yet enter any shop today and all the kids and adults are buying this nonsense rubber loom bands or whatever they are called undecided

Business is not just a open shop and put signboard thing. It takes a lot. You are relying on people to put their hand in their pocket and spend their hard earned money.

You are not the only estate agent, so have you looked at what others are doing that you dont do? Have you created a niche for yourself? What makes you stand out? What is your mission statement?

You say you dont have a car. How do you get to your clients? Are you always late? or do you expect clients to take you to the properties in their own cars? How do you dress? Do you look presentable and tidy? Are you professional? Dont forget that you are not in the worlds most favoured professions. Many people dont trust estate agents and car dealers. You also work in a profession where anyone can open a shop and claim to be an agent

My advise to you is to have a change of mindset. No one is chasing you. Put that your car back on the road and do kabu kabu. Put food om your table and send your kids back to school. You owe them that.

Re-evaluate the situation and take things from there. If it means going back to paid empoyment then do it; peanuts or not. You are a man with responsibilities now.

All is well and I pray that your testimony will even surprise you very soon.

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Re: Please Help A Confused Brother. by Iranoladun(f): 3:08pm On Sep 16, 2014
I was invited to your page by Mdme Chaircover. Hope you are doing well Madam?
I've been off nairaland for a while.

@ OP You have been given so many quality and practical advice. I especially like Bukytane, Chaircover and Aisha2 advise; you need to redefine your business strategy and find a niche/your USP (Unique Selling Point). There is probably one of your strength that you can sharpen and concentrate on in addition to always being ready to go the extra mile for clients. I read in one of your post where you said you cannot go back to paid employment and earn peanut.

You need to get off your high horse and face reality. NOTHING IS CAST IN STONE and sometimes in life YOU NEED TO STOOP TO CONQUER. Put your shame aside and wear the toga of necessity!

I also observed you claimed you bought your office furniture three years ago and they are currently in your home lying fallow. That is money that is simply being eroded by this act day in day out; office furniture do not appreciate; they are probably worth half of their purchased value now. Have you thought of selling those furniture and using the proceed to fix your car? Like my Sister - Chaircover suggested turn that car into kabu kabu while still practicing your Estate agency business. I don't know which city you are in; but if you are in Lagos or any other big city. You can do 'rush hour' kabu kabu i.e. 6am to 9am and 5pm to 8pm to make some money for you and your family basic needs. The timing will also give you time for business appointment with clients

You can also offer semi pro bono services at construction site etc. When we were building our house there was a certain gentleman that was always hovering around. Initially I was never comfortable with him until he introduced himself as an um-employed graduate of Estate Management. He always offer to help us do so many things which I always turn down even though occasionally my hubby wanted to give in until one particular day our block supplier got delayed and we were almost running out of 9 inches block. This young man went away and within 30 minutes came back with a truck load of 300 units of 9 inches block (He took a big risk knowing that we may turn down his offer again). The quality was the same with the ones we were using. Thus, we bought the blocks from him and thereafter gave him some other small jobs.

No one is after you; It is well with your soul!
cool

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