firstEVA:
madam was I talking to you? Mtschewwww. Busybody.

Japhet04:


but there is also one thing I noticed you did

°°°°°°^°°°^°°°°°°°°°°YOU LIED °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
like this comment if you noticed it too

I reserve further comments

firstEVA:
Johnfavour I see you.

Naijasinglegirl:
In my course of 'blogwhoring' some entertainment and fashions blogs, the images I see from bridal shower events aroused my curiosity.
Photos of happy ladies holding pink balloons, wearing crowns, blushes, cakes etc.

It seems this western trend has become an important segment in the series of Nigerian pre-wedding events.

Last year, my colleague that was about to tie the knot kept pestering one of her 'daddies' for money to host her bridal shower party.
I thought this was the responsibility of the groom-to-be? Or maybe the groom-to-be is not into western culture? Or the bride didn't want to feel left out?
She made it look like a do or die event.

I had questions to ask but I didn't want to come across as jealous so I had to keep my mouth shut.

A few weeks ago, a friend told me to accompany her to the market to buy items she needed for her bridal shower party. When we got there, I was surprised to see her buying egusi, vegetable leaves, palm oil, goat meat etc. Why would she be buying stuffs like that when this was more of a western thing? I needed to be at the party to see things for myself but alas, I wasn't invited.

The only solution to satisfy this curiosity was to gate crash a random bridal shower since NSG friends/colleagues didn't deem her worthy enough to send an IV.

Finally, I had the opportunity last weekend. I went for a book launch in a hotel and on getting inside, some ladies dressed in skimpy clothes walked past me with balloons to the left wing of the hotel.

I didn't know when I aborted my initial mission and followed them.

''You are here for Esther's bridal shower right?'' one of them asked me.
'
'Yes'' I replied

I couldn't believe my luck.

I was led to one of the mini-suites where I met about 18 other unfamiliar faces including the bride. I had to act cool to avoid suspicion.

The bride-to-be was looking more like a widow than a bride and she wore her crown like it was a crown of thorns.
It was more like she was forced to host the party.

Other females were dressed in bum shorts with the exception of me, the uninvited guest.
I sat at the far end of the king-sized bed looking like an election observer.

The party better be worth it, I prayed silently.

Forty minutes gone and the party was yet to start. I was getting impatient! Were these people awaiting the arrival of Toke Makinwa or what?

Every time I made a decision to leave, the party inviting cake seemed to tell me 'loser, don't you want a bite of me? and then I'd find myself replying ''ok, ten more minutes."

Finally, the MC, one slim girl with the driest sense of humour arrived.

The first thing she said was ''Because your name is Esther and you are bleached does not make you established.''

All the bush girls were laughing hysterically at this 1967 joke except me. (These girls need to read my blog. Lol)

She continued cracking more dry jokes.

The only thing that made me laugh with them was the MC's face. Her hideous makeup was funnier than her jokes.

Afterwards, we were called out one after the other to give a one minute speech about the bride. I was the first and the MC refused to take no for an answer.

''Esther is a good and nice girl, she's getting married and I'm so happy for her'' I blurted out ignorantly.

At least I got her name right, thanks to the girls I followed in.
Afterwards, we were called out for truth&dare game. Me, being the first once again.

I was dared to call my boyfriend on speaker to tell him I miss kissing him.

I just stood in front of all them scrolling my contacts. I saw my daddy's number, I saw my friends boyfriends numbers, I saw my brothers number. I got to letter Z and no boyfriend number.

Then it hit me! I am Naija Single Girl without a boyfriend. I didn't have the strength to explain that to these daughters of Eve so I hurriedly dropped my N1000 fine. Literally, society charged me for being single. *sobs*

After the other girls had played the game, it was time for refreshment.

One of the girls started sharing hot coke and cabin biscuit of all things.

See, I don't know about you reading this but the amount of cabin biscuits I ate while in primary and secondary school are not less than 3781 pieces (yup! I kept count).

''Is this all you have?'' I asked the girl that handed me the biscuits with boiled coke.

''Ehen'' she rudely replied

''What of that cake over there?''

''We are not cutting it! Its for the wedding!!'' I was pissing her off already.

Huh? What were these yahoo girls telling me? So the cake was a scam too? It was just a decoration in the room??

You broke Nigerian girls need to chill!

Bridal shower is not by force!

The pain I felt was so painful. Lol

The hot coke was beginning to burn my throat. Before I could think of a way to 'steal' my N1000 back from the truth & dare container, the sad looking bride-to-be had already pocketed it.

Literally, I was the chief sponsor of the cabin biscuit and these minions won't even give me my change which amounted up to N590.

They were no male strippers like it happens abroad, just some a-cups girls on low cut dancing azonto while we cracked our cabin biscuit.

I regretted not going for the book launch.

Is this what happens in a Nigerian bridal shower or did I miss my way?

http://www.naijasinglegirl.net

pickabeau1:
funny post...

wehave inculcated too many western traditions and despised our own

nowadays pry schoools even celeb halloween n vals

jechona:


If am to access you based on your write-up. I see a woman who is likely going to end up single or a married trouble maker.

I guess nobody have told you that all fingers are not equal.

And from your write-up if am not wrong, I observe pride, troublesome and an insulting virtue in you which is very bad.

Thank God you did not succeed in stealing that 1k back, because the beating you would have received from those buddies ehn!!! God would have blessed me if you come back alive.

Finally, I mean no disrespect to you so please don't feel bad at my post, just get the little lessons from it and make yourself a better person.

Thank you.

lovinam:
Rotfl

Pinkielytee:
Lwkmd
abeg who's the poster of this thread. I need to follow your blog asap. This is so hilarious. Na so I laff till I fall from my bed

Originalsly:
Very interesting and entertaining. NSG is one of the best writer/blogger period when it comes to style and delivery.

Naijasinglegirl:
Gracias Sir

debbydee:
dry

jechona:


If am to access you based on your write-up. I see a woman who is likely going to end up single or a married trouble maker.

I guess nobody have told you that all fingers are not equal.

And from your write-up if am not wrong, I observe pride, troublesome and an insulting virtue in you which is very bad.

jechona:

If am to access you based on your write-up. I see a woman who is likely going to end up single or a married trouble maker.
I guess nobody have told you that all fingers are not equal.
And from your write-up if am not wrong, I observe pride, troublesome and an insulting virtue in you which is very bad.
Thank God you did not succeed in stealing that 1k back, because the beating you would have received from those buddies ehn!!! God would have blessed me if you come back alive.
Finally, I mean no disrespect to you so please don't feel bad at my post, just get the little lessons from it and make yourself a better person.
Thank you.

Ishilove:
Naijasinglegirl, it seems you rushed this update. So many (modified) errors, but very funny as usual.

doublezero7:


U call dat dry? Haba! U've really got a confused sense of humor den!

doublezero7:


Errm...for a couple of hours now, I've been contemplating whether to respond to your comment or not! Unfortunately for you, I will! And unlike the last poster, I want to deliberately insult you! My reasons are; 1. You're stupid enough to take the post seriously, when you could just have had a good laugh! 2. You came to the wrong thread to talk shii! 3. You took a dig at my girl? WTF!!!

First things first, who made you a judge to come here and 'access and observe' other people's post? I guess you just wanted to feel relevant, bah? You indeed came to the wrong thread! Whenever you want to show your stupidity, move somewhere else! You sef dey observe person? Really, go observe your head first! If the story aint good enough for you, go write yours!

Secondly, you in your uncommon stupidity said "Thank God you did not succeed in stealing that 1k back, because the beating you would have received from those buddies ehn!!! God would have blessed me if you come back alive." Does that even make sense to you at all! What's your connection to NSG that God would have blessed you if she came back alive? Are you her father? I'm sure you meant God would have punished you though!

Finally, go make yourself a better person and stop being a jerk! Peeps here are here to have fun! So STFU and go to the 'Religion' section if you want to give moral advice!

One advice for you sir/ma, never talk back at my girl! I'll be right behind you!

debbydee:


Bros, i no abuse you. Am i not entitled to my opinion.

Oga mind yourself.

Naijasinglegirl:

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Please allow our counsellor wallow in his bitterness. You are too nice.

doublezero7:


Aww babe...I wasn't abusing you either dear! You are entitled to your opinion. I'm sure d sense of humor thingie isn't your fault! Love u loads tho!

debbydee:


its ok. Maybe i was not just in the mood. hope your day is going fine.

doublezero7:


Most def! My day doesn't have a choice than to be fine! Hope yours has been gud too?