Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,194,363 members, 7,954,474 topics. Date: Friday, 20 September 2024 at 07:55 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Outcast (1286 Views)
Outcast / How Can I Get The Last Outcast Shipped To Me In Kenya (2) (3) (4)
Outcast by Chuksemi(m): 10:15am On Oct 06, 2014 |
Few years ago, a woman was married into our family. She was a lovely jovial woman, fun to be with and all of that. But then it was discovered that her fore bears were "osu". In Igboland an osu is someone who was dedicated to the gods, after this dedication, usually done if the person involved committed a terrible crime beyond normal forgiveness by the gods. This person and his family are sent out. They live close to the shrine. They and their descendants cease to have any sort of communication with the other free people. Not minding the advent of christianity- this believe though severely reduced still holds sway. As an igbo man or woman. You would not be allowed to marry an osu. Though you may interact with them. I am personally against this believe. As it sounds totally hypocritic that someone who claims to be a christian would tag a fellow human with such a despicable name. Now this woman I talked about had children, but she had to leave with them. They were not allowed to come back and they held no grounds in their father's compound. She cried and begged, but they didn't heed. I remembered this incident yesterday so I wrote a poem about it. |
Re: Outcast by rotwailler(m): 10:22am On Oct 06, 2014 |
Cheap mtn bundle plan. 250mb....300 Naira 500mb.....550 Naira 1gig.....1,100 Naira 5gig.....5,400 Naira 10gig....10,800 Naira We accept recharge pins,VTU,bank transfer etc. We are into bulk data reselling business and the plans we bring to you are legitimate plans bought in bulk from MTN. It is not a cheat or a tweak. • Data rollover to the next month, if you re-subscribe before of current plan. • Activation in less than 5 minutes They are valid and legal data plans from provider in conjunction with MTN The data can be used on any device including Android, Tecno, iphone, Tablet, Htc, laptop, BB10, Nokia, lumia, Windows, Galaxy Phone, Mtn Fastlink Modem etc.... To check your Data Balance, dial *461*7# whatsapp me on 07066586998. |
Re: Outcast by Chuksemi(m): 10:28am On Oct 06, 2014 |
Out cast free verse Eyes tight, shut tight Pain runs through my veins Anger dances in my heart Fear numbs my fingers I mix them all The verdict came on his own My family gone I am all alone Solitarily I walk now No one to talk to or share my pain Joy has left me Leave I must or Die I would but My innocence speaks not Her voice drowned by a thousand voices screaming in unity, leave Go, go, go, it echoes over again My greetings hit the wall Splash it sounds on my face Spits I take, insults I embrace. Fabrics torn out by once comrades My well of tears has dried up My stream of pain has overflowed Fruits from my bowels fail to cheer me up They are not innocent They would suffer same fate Worse it gets, wet head rest God- unto you do I cry My fore bears knew thee not But I do, I do Lovin' you I did, did not I? Why the curse on me The curse of an outcast 1 Like |
Re: Outcast by Chuksemi(m): 10:32am On Oct 06, 2014 |
I wrote this like a lamentation coming from the lips of the woman involved. Intended to make it a quintet, but the last verse, I don't know, can I get away with that? Cc: oma4u, timparker, texanomaly, firestar, larrysun, ishilove, haddon. Please drop a review, thank you. |
Re: Outcast by Writeditor: 10:58am On Oct 06, 2014 |
Touching story. I don't review poetry but this is good. And since you're writing from her point of view shouldn't "her voice" in the third stanza be "my voice"? 1 Like |
Re: Outcast by texanomaly(f): 8:24pm On Oct 06, 2014 |
This poem is from your heart. It means something to you. It could very well impact others. That is the important part. I think sometimes we worry so much about the rules that our message suffers. You obviously felt her pain. Don't try to change what you feel. If you go back after a while and something sounds, or looks better to you, change it. If you want to change it because you think it doesn't follow the rules, leave it. Following all the rules does not make great poetry. Having an impact on others or even just yourself is what really counts. Nice job. |
Re: Outcast by texanomaly(f): 8:25pm On Oct 06, 2014 |
Btw. Where are she and her kids now? |
Re: Outcast by timpaker(m): 8:51pm On Oct 06, 2014 |
great piece I must say. Like tex said, just focus on making a good poem. Poetry forms does not. However, it might interest you to know that what you have there is a form known as Dramatic Monologue, cuz you're using a character in fiction or in solo mode (pardon me, I'm too lazy to spell sololoqui, you know that moment when you just talk and lament on your own) to deliver a lengthy speech explaining a feeling, action, or motive. . Great job! |
Re: Outcast by Chuksemi(m): 10:21pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
Writeditor:Thanks much . I was actually refering to the voice of innocense. Using personification. |
Re: Outcast by Chuksemi(m): 10:22pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
timpaker:Okay, dramatic monologue. That has been written down |
Re: Outcast by Chuksemi(m): 10:23pm On Oct 07, 2014 |
texanomaly: They've left. Last time I heard of her, she stays with her mother. It is indeed quite saddening. Thanks much. |
Re: Outcast by Illuminatus(m): 2:22pm On May 22, 2015 |
I liked the first twelve lines. I believe they were the best part of the poem. The latter part seems...forced. I don't know, it just doesn't lap with how you started. Otherwise, it's a very good poem. Passed across the message, touching. Thumbs up. |
(1) (Reply)
[story] I Called It R.*.p.e (rated 18+)… Part 7 / Waiting For ' Up Nepa' and other short stories / Big Brother (18+)
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 36 |