As i write i am on my way to lagos from calabar and i am kinda feeling the need to drop the annoying, funny experiences i am getting from my fellow passengers. As a matter of fact i categorize them into groups of person you would likely meet in the bus any other time you are making a road trip like this......yea curse me if you like,"ëhen i no get money to fly e concain you ?'. THE CATEGORIES OF PEOPLE I OFTEN ENCOUNTER GOES AS FOLLOWS;

THE POLITICAL FANATICS
OMG i no bin no say Nairaland e warriors were as vicious in real life as online, this guys argues and argues and argues....from GEJ to kwankwaso....to TAN..TO PDP...TO APC...TO EL-RUFAI...BH....TO $9.3mil just about everything making headlines ON NATIONAL DAILIES.....dude i no sure say those guys una dey fight for dem knowany of you.....HABA! ...i swear it will make a good piece of reality tv to see you guys exchange fitfull punche). your mates no argues like this but dem dey thief our money for senate, bros abeg mek i hear word!
and stop wearing okirika starched shirt

THE OVER RELIGIOUS:
Ever since we boarded the bus this mid thirty lady without a ring ( mayb na d over religious life mek u no marry) have been hissing some spiritual words i cannot comprehend, even to the disgust of other passengers and the first bus pastor that prayed thunderously before our departure. The annoying part is i sit next to her, she prays hitting her legs and hand shouting blood of jesus ...before and after every over taking. come-on woman the last time i check the bible says we should believe when we pray and should not repeat our prayers unnecessarily as it show a sign of disbelief and fear just like the saducees and pharisee...erhn "i dong forget the bible verse sha* pastors online mek una help me (me speaking in my vexed mind). i really hope you were a NLnder so you can read this ones you go online

THE BUSY BODY PAPPARAZZI CHICK
MEhn u wan do your wash nain come travel for road come de oppress us with you busy body abi?.....i have lost count of the number of phones and gadgets in your possession, you answer calls like say na u be okonjo iwealla..i tire ooo sometimes two of your phones d ring at same time. i tried to check if na runs girl u b buh datz none of my business....my own be say you for use ARIK dan to worry us with your ring tones. WTF....abeg shift jaree!

THE RICH QUIET KID
This boy luggage naim full buss....na one full taxi dem carry bring him load......the boy fresh sha, but ur luggage dey disturb my legs hear for back sit. At a point i thought this butter was deaf and dumb nt until em I phone6 beep with very mild sound and he spoke...i suspect you missed your flight coz i dont think you belong here.....ah even like as you no send d paparazzi chick sef >: *lol roftl.

THE GLUTTON LOVE BIRDS
This guys n girl have been cuddling, kissing and buying everything edible:snail,g nut,zobo,bobo,kulikuli,chinching,meat pie et al choi, na robot mouth una get sha .The chik chop pass bird sef...i dey watch to see when those concoction go react naim una go no say d journey stil far* yey! Before i just finish naim we smell something for bus like rotten egg...driver abeg off this ac befre i suffocate> #Now ol eyes on them both hehehehehehee

THE WANNA BE DUDE
This guy has been seëking attention since for park with im swihili phoneee....am really getting freaked out with you. you carry novel but right from calabar u never pass the foreward page..abi you dey read for reverse? and for christ sake, stop reading it out loud..#some bori hold me...am about to loose my mind, i shouldve carried my Beats jack headset by Dre....

THE STONE FACED NIGGA WITH DARK SUN SHADES
I swear this guy looks like an armed robber, sss, or mayb na force guy em be......Since we enter bus for park i no hear em voice nor see im eye, may God be with us! but borss u for gud for nollywood muvies oo (on my mind)

THE POOING, URINATING CHICK
I dong vex tire for you......this girl bekons on the driver to stop at every roundabout and fueling station for her to urine, poo and do some oter stuff wia i no no*Abi na d girls stuff dey worry you ....pls kindly allow this journey to progress as planned. yours faithfully!

THE OVER SABBI DRIVER
This man talk wan pass parrot ....haba. every topic you sabbi......pls stop teling us how you use reverse drive from benin to shagamu carry escape from armed robbers...na so you good you no dey drive F1?
Abeg look front jor

THE GEEK/NAIRA LANDER ON BOARD
Yea, thats me! i have been praying for network to come so i can post this out to my fellow nairalanders about my mind buggling experience. serious, its nothing shot of a mad bus out here! i have been observing them all and taking down points. Seun if i no mek front page for this suffer head wia i de cary write dis tin na PEG english i go carry course you!
Abeg mek una wish me luck to make front page and safe journey ooo
just passed onitsha....dis place dirty sha!