(Don't take this too seriously)

I was given admission into UNIBEN, Benin city, to study history, not my dream course, my substitute course. Those that wrote jamb will understand.
After screening and stress in file submission, I appeared in class, not as a witch doctor but as a student. The lecturer said, we are going today's lecture by reviewing some NIGERIA HISTORY. She asked, who said, I SHALL RETURN AND DIE IN THE LAND OF MY FATHER? Nobody attempted to answer the question. I raised my hand and replied, KING JAJA OF OPOBO, 1875. Very good she said.

WHO SAID THE LAND USE ACT WILL FEED THE NATION? Nobody attempted to answer. My hand went up and she called on me; OBASANJO, 1976: I REPLIED. She snapped the rest students, you all should be ashamed of yourselves. This boy whom I presumed just resumed knows about NIGERIAN HISTORY than you all that have been attending classes since the first day of resumption. What a shame. I weep for you all.
A loud voice came from the back of the class, WHAT'S MY BUSINESS! Who said that? The lecturer asked, I stood up and replied, ABACHA, 1995; A student from the middle scornfully said, I AM BETTER THAN YOU. Who said that? She asked again, I replied, ABIOLA TO BABANGIDA, 1997: Another student yelled furiously, now EAT THIS! I jumped up, waved at the lecturer and shouted, INDIAN MISTRESS GIVING APPLE TO ABACHA, 1998.

As the class was getting rowdy, someone said, LITTLE SHIT, IF YOU SAY ANYTHING AGAIN, I WILL KILL YOU. I shouted at the top of my voice, CHRIS UBA TO NGIGE, 2004. The lecturer fainted.

As we gather around her on the floor, a girl said, OH GOD, WE ARE IN TROUBLE. I whispered, CHIMAROKE NNAMANI, AYODELE FAYOSE AND LUCKY IGBINEDION, 2007.

Angrily, a guy said, DON'T REPLY, HE IS A FOOL, I smiled and said, OBASANJO TO BABANGIDA, 2011. All the students took to their heels.

The lecturer got up and asked, WHO SENT YOU? I replied, GOODLUCK JONATHAN TO BOKO HARAM, 2013; she retorted, ARE YOU FOR REAL? I replied, FASHOLA TO EBOLA, 2014....