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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Poems For Review / Longer Night Shorter Day (Tribute to the Common Men in the Street) (715 Views)
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Longer Night Shorter Day (Tribute to the Common Men in the Street) by Nobody: 9:49pm On Nov 04, 2014 |
Longer Night Shorter Day And so they have it all days For the known hours in-sight Veins deserve rest Thus, Litle hours of night remarks as day And so they have it all days The made-to-believed hard destiny! See them early morning designed with patches of drools Their early morning sweat freshen them up after all And so they were born same as -the mud-splashed moving carton custodians Except for one deversity - The privilege: To rule and be ruled And so the lives in longer night continue Though, not the fortune peculier to one It is the commonwealth that gives 'merits' And though, not not merit by all but Except with western's passports -an inept designed piece before work In the summer through winter you see them substituting practical for theory The power behind mansion living in cottage You see them hovering around the lazy bones' mincemeat Lo and Behold! For the self-given first-class creations - Natural it looks in their selfish eye-views Shy away the fairness and justice that defines the Costodian of Nature And hopelessly the scavages live and die With no ever dream of smelling what independent-living gives Froud of the highest order! Asking the privileged... And so shall the living in longer night shorter day continue? éclat Nov. '14 1 Like |
Re: Longer Night Shorter Day (Tribute to the Common Men in the Street) by noble4d(m): 11:16pm On Nov 04, 2014 |
Hallo Ridhwan, how u doing?... I like the fact that you make use of simple English to pour out your emotion and the image is clear, I could easily picture each stanza as if I'm in a movie ...But to be honest with you, your stanzas or verses are scattered, your use of punctuations are out of line, and little error in your spellings. Poetry is not only about diction and imagery but also the form(s) and structure you imploy in writing them. You can follow the link in my signature to learn more of the types and structures of poetry or send me a pm. noble cares. 1 Like |
Re: Longer Night Shorter Day (Tribute to the Common Men in the Street) by Nobody: 12:59am On Nov 05, 2014 |
noble4d: Tnks so much Mr. for the acknowledgement, the observation and most of all, for being a critic. I so much appreciate it. I'm just a growing up boi with keen interest in poetry. Would not mind if help could come from 'nowhere' to boost this interest. I'll follow the link as you suggest. Tnks once more |
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