Longer Night Shorter Day
And so they have it all days
For the known hours in-sight
Veins deserve rest
Thus, Litle hours of night remarks as day
And so they have it all days
The made-to-believed hard destiny!

See them early morning designed with patches of drools
Their early morning sweat freshen them up after all
And so they were born same as
-the mud-splashed moving carton custodians
Except for one deversity - The privilege: To rule and be ruled

And so the lives in longer night continue
Though, not the fortune peculier to one
It is the commonwealth that gives 'merits'
And though, not not merit by all but
Except with western's passports
-an inept designed piece before work

In the summer through winter you see them substituting practical for theory
The power behind mansion living in cottage
You see them hovering around the lazy bones' mincemeat
Lo and Behold! For the self-given first-class creations - Natural it looks in their selfish eye-views
Shy away the fairness and justice that defines the Costodian of Nature

And hopelessly the scavages live and die
With no ever dream of smelling what independent-living gives
Froud of the highest order!
Asking the privileged...
And so shall the living in longer night shorter day continue?


éclat
Nov. '14

Hallo Ridhwan, how u doing?... I like the fact that you make use of simple English to pour out your emotion and the image is clear, I could easily picture each stanza as if I'm in a movie ...But to be honest with you, your stanzas or verses are scattered, your use of punctuations are out of line, and little error in your spellings.

Poetry is not only about diction and imagery but also the form(s) and structure you imploy in writing them. You can follow the link in my signature to learn more of the types and structures of poetry or send me a pm.

noble cares.

noble4d:
Hallo Ridhwan, how u doing?... I like the fact that you make use of simple English to pour out your emotion and the image is clear, I could easily picture each stanza as if I'm in a movie ...But to be honest with you, your stanzas or verses are scattered, your use of punctuations are out of line, and little error in your spellings.

Poetry is not only about diction and imagery but also the form(s) and structure you imploy in writing them. You can follow the link in my signature to learn more of the types and structures of poetry or send me a pm.

noble cares.

Tnks so much Mr. for the acknowledgement, the observation and most of all, for being a critic. I so much appreciate it.
I'm just a growing up boi with keen interest in poetry. Would not mind if help could come from 'nowhere' to boost this interest. I'll follow the link as you suggest. Tnks once more