Hmmmm I was discussing with a friend who is bent on getting married and having a family of his own before March 2015, the funniest part of the story is that he is not into any relationship at the moment; so I was wondering if they will be chance for courtship because of the rush.
In the cause of our discussion I asked him why he want to get married and I got this mind blowing answer from him, to me that answer is too dumb I don't know if u will see it the same way I saw it: "I want to get married because it is what the society requires of me" was his answer. I was lyk OMG is this dumb mentality coming from someone I call my own friend? But on a second thought I like giving room for people and their opinion about things.
Pls room..... Why would you want to be married?

Marriage is just to fulfill societal expectations.


Life is one way street....

You can decide to live your life doing what you like or live by the rules of the society.

To each their own.

I don't consider marriage necessary at all.

Trust me, many people won't admit it - but a lot of people get married because it's what the society requires at some point.

Some do for financial stability, some do because they want to avoid back-talk from friends and family, some do because they got pregnant, most do just to be among the i-am-married group with the misconception that it automatically makes them seem more mature & wise.

All of those reasons above are dependent on society - so yeah your friend may have given something silly as a reason, but he had a point.

Don't believe a guy at dis age and level of education will say somtin like dat.

There are just so many reasons why I want to marry:
1) To be with my best friend and love of my life forever... the distance is killing, want to wake up everyday beside him
2) To have lovely kids and watch them grow
3) God says we should go and multiply, so I gat to multiply, afterall if my mum didn't marry, there wouldn't be 'me'...
4) To conquer the sin of fornication forever
5) To have a lovely family where I will invest my resources....

eeetttccccc

MarvellousGod:
There are just so many reasons why I want to marry:
1) To be with my best friend and love of my life forever... the distance is killing, want to wake up everyday beside him
2) To have lovely kids and watch them grow
3) God says we should go and multiply, so I gat to multiply, afterall if my mum didn't marry, there wouldn't be 'me'...
4) To conquer the sin of fornication forever
5) To have a lovely family where I will invest my resources....

eeetttccccc

Apart from number 4, which is a religious belief, you can do everything else without getting married.

Marry because the society expects you to abi? What a horrible mentality. Just to fulfill righteousness right? No wonder the sob stories are too many in Nairaland and other blogs. These same people will come to Nairaland and seek for permission to carry out any action in their marriage. No wonder these same people live like singles when married, wearing no rings and bedding as much people as possible and exchanging stds. No single difference between married people and single ones. No wonder Marriage is a sham in this country.

Op, i will get married because i have found someone worth walking down the rest of my life with, someone with similar goals as i do, someone i have found to see is a partner for life!! For companionship. I will never get married to please anybody or to please society because the society doesnt give a damn if im hungry or jobless so therefore they have no biz with my marital status. I am an adult who knows what she wants and never allows unnecessary interference in my life. Its my life and my life only. I will live it Nobody will live it for me. I make mistakes i face the consequences. I make good decisions i benefit from it, Not the society. I dnt owe any explanation to the society. The only person who has that much control over my life is God.

carefreewannabe:


Apart from number 4, which is a religious belief, you can do everything else without getting married.

1) You want to cohabit or what?
2) how do you have your own kids if you don't get married? ? putting adoption aside.
3) how do you multiply if you don't get married? ?
5) Best known to mua.....


Those are some of my reasons, so they may not matter to you...

MarvellousGod:

1) You want to cohabit or what?
2) how do you have your own kids if you don't get married? ? putting adoption aside.
3) how do you multiply if you don't get married? ?
5) Best known to mua.....


Those are some of my reasons, so they may not matter to you...

1. Anything wrong with that?

2. I will have kids with my partner when the time is right. No marriage necessary for him to get me pregnant.

3. See no. 2.

carefreewannabe:


1. Anything wrong with that?
2. I will have kids with my partner when the time is right. No marriage necessary for him to get me pregnant.
3. See no. 2.

if you can do the above, the why accept 4??

Essentially, marriage protects the woman from exploitation. That is why men find it confining. Men want all the associated advantages without the responsibilities involved. They cohabit and she cooks, washes, cleans and gives herself to him. He convinces her that it is a good thing for her too and that she also is 'enjoying' it, and that the legal endorsement is not necessary since he 'loves' her. Then he finds a better and younger model of cook/ washer/ lover and kicks her out. No alimony, no child upkeep, no strings or stigma attached to him, only to her. The chop and clean mouth attitude, leaving the dirty plates behind for the woman to take care of.

Sophyrocks:
Marry because the society expects you to abi? What a horrible mentality. Just to fulfill righteousness right? No wonder the sob stories are too many in Nairaland and other blogs. These same people will come to Nairaland and seek for permission to carry out any action in their marriage. No wonder these same people live like singles when married.

You speak the truth. people have given love and marriage a bad name. all i see i opportunists trying to get a better life and when it is not as comfy as they want they go out looking for comfort and i think the rate men are cheating these days is alarming. 70 percent of married men are cheats. especially those between 30 and 50. some ladies still maintain their relationships with boyfriends and cheat once in a while with them but men cheat like the are being given an excess amount of viagra every day. you speak the truth dear,if mr right does not find you i will find you and make up for the wrongs of my kind.

MarvellousGod:



if you can do the above, the why accept 4??

I don't think that s*ex without marriage is a sin. This is your belief, not mine.

cupidhero:


You speak the truth. people have given love and marriage a bad name. all i see i opportunists trying to get a better life and when it is not as comfy as they want they go out looking for comfort and i think the rate men are cheating these days is alarming. 70 percent of married men are cheats. especially those between 30 and 50. some ladies still maintain their relationships with boyfriends and cheat once in a while with them but men cheat like the are being given an excess amount of viagra every day. you speak the truth dear,if mr right does not find you i will find you and make up for the wrongs of my kind.

Hehehe. Lip sealed on the bolded.

carefreewannabe:


I don't think that s*ex without marriage is a sin. This is your belief, not mine.

I really don't see your point ma'am..
●You can cohabit with your partner
●You can have children outside wedlock etc.... The only difference between you and married people is your relationship isn't official yet. ..so you're invariably enjoying what married people enjoy too

If you had said you will stay single forever, etc.. Then your point as regards marriage not being necessary will be reasonable.

Sophyrocks:


Hehehe. Lip sealed on the bolded.

but seriously if every girl stuck to his man and everyman stuck to his lady people like oyedepo or pastor chris won't be bothering temesleves writing books on a sucessful marraige or relationships. all these foolish lovers make it hard for wisemen like me. lol. imagine i have to actually write a book for all these cheats so they can know when to zip up,when to flee,when to say "baby i'm coming home,wear something sexy",seriously me don tire. i see your posts daily about the relationship thingy and it makes me feel bad seeing you waste your energy on these people.if only they will be like me and you their won't even be a need for books,threads and forums for relationships. lol! tell me you bought what i just wrote?

Most of us marry because our society requires we do so. Also, for me, the desire to have a spouse is inborn so that once it's time, the mind is geared towards it.

But i feel people should marry if the achievement of their goals and visions demand a partner. In other words, marry if the person is going to assist you lead a fulfilled life.

cupidhero:

but seriously if every girl stuck to his man and everyman stuck to his lady people like oyedepo or pastor chris won't be bothering temesleves writing books on a sucessful marraige or relationships. all these foolish lovers make it hard for wisemen like me. lol. imagine i have to actually write a book for all these cheats so they can know when to zip up,when to flee,when to say "baby i'm coming home,wear something sexy",seriously me don tire. i see your posts daily about the relationship thingy and it makes me feel bad seeing you waste your energy on these people.if only they will be like me and you their won't even be a need for books,threads and forums for relationships. lol! tell me you bought what i just wrote?

You are very right about the attitude of people. Well, its an interactive forum so i dnt see it as me wasting energy. We are just expressing ourselves. I like to express myself.

Sophyrocks:


You are very right about the attitude of people. Well, its an interactive forum so i dnt see it as me wasting energy. We are just expressing ourselves. I like to express myself.

i was only trying to be funny when i said you waste your energy on these people. pardon my poor sense of humour,i will get better someday.love the fact that you actually enlighten people on these subjects,i have learnt a thing or two from reading your posts about marriage. be good!

cupidhero:

i was only trying to be funny when i said you waste your energy on these people. pardon my poor sense of humour,i will get better someday.love the fact that you actually enlighten people on these subjects,i have learnt a thing or two from reading your posts about marriage. be good!

No you didnt do anything wrong. lol. Thanks. Glad you acknowledge my comments. I could learn one or two things from you. Have a nice day.

What exactly is wrong with marrying because society expects it?

All humans live by some set of rules.

VENTY0:
Hmmmm I was discussing with a friend who is bent on getting married and having a family of his own before March 2015, the funniest part of the story is that he is not into any relationship at the moment; so I was wondering if they will be chance for courtship because of the rush.
In the cause of our discussion I asked him why he want to get married and I got this mind blowing answer from him, to me that answer is too dumb I don't know if u will see it the same way I saw it: "I want to get married because it is what the society requires of me" was his answer. I was lyk OMG is this dumb mentality coming from someone I call my own friend?

Why are you so angry at the thought of him getting married?

Probably why he did not give you an answer.

MarvellousGod:
There are just so many reasons why I want to marry:
1) To be with my best friend and love of my life forever... the distance is killing, want to wake up everyday beside him
2) To have lovely kids and watch them grow
3) God says we should go and multiply, so I gat to multiply, afterall if my mum didn't marry, there wouldn't be 'me'...
4) To conquer the sin of fornication forever
5) To have a lovely family where I will invest my resources....

eeetttccccc

@ bolded;

I disagree.....Marriage isn't enough to keep one from sexual immorality.....

I agree with the rest.

dein77:

@ bolded;
I disagree.....Marriage isn't enough to keep one from sexual immorality.....
I agree with the rest.

Maybe for those that don't respect the vows they took or promiscuous peeps....

Abuamam:
Essentially, marriage protects the woman from exploitation. That is why men find it confining. Men want all the associated advantages without the responsibilities involved. They cohabit and she cooks, washes, cleans and gives herself to him. He convinces her that it is a good thing for her too and that she also is 'enjoying' it, and that the legal endorsement is not necessary since he 'loves' her. Then he finds a better and younger model of cook/ washer/ lover and kicks her out. No alimony, no child upkeep, no strings or stigma attached to him, only to her. The chop and clean mouth attitude, leaving the dirty plates behind for the woman to take care of.

very good points

Marriage is a bit over rated, imo.

Yes, Its overrated, just like sex.

MarvellousGod:
Maybe for those that don't respect the vows they took or promiscuous peeps....

Well, I didn't actually marry to avoid fornication. I married because I saw someone who who will complete me.

Marriage cannot prevent a person from sexual immorality. Period.

dein77:


Well, I didn't actually marry to avoid fornication. I married because I saw someone who who will complete me.

Marriage cannot prevent a person from sexual immorality. Period.

Nobody is saying he/she is marrying to avoid indiscriminate s*x, you are getting it wrong. ... what I meant in my comment was that when married, you and your partner will be relieved of sin of fornication, for those that were having sex b4 marriage shaa....

MarvellousGod:
Nobody is saying he/she is marrying to avoid indiscriminate s*x, you are getting it wrong. ... what I meant in my comment was that when married, you and your partner will be relieved of sin of fornication, for those that were having sex b4 marriage shaa....

Now, I understand. We are on the same page now.