n this interview with MOTUNRAYO JOEL, 82-year-old Olurike Shomuyiwa, talks about her life

When and where were you born?

I was born in October 10, 1932 in Abeokuta, Ogun State.

Where did you have your primary school education?

I wasn’t fortunate to go to school. My parents didn’t have the financial capacity to send my brother and me to school. I came from a really average home. Growing up, I used to stay at home helping my mother cook and do other household chores.

Is your brother alive?

Yes he is. He is based in Abeokuta. We talk on phone once in a while.

Do you regret not going to school at an early age?

Till today, I wish I went to school early, it pains me. I know I would have been better than what I am today. Though, after I got married. I enrolled for adult education, but I couldn’t complete it because of my children; I had to stay at home to take care of them.

Nevertheless, I thank God. If I was educated early, I would have loved to be a banker. I like their mode of dressing and the type of shoes they wear. I like the way they walk; they walk elegantly.

How was life as a child?

It was good. At least, I had fun going with my father to wherever he went including the farm. We were very close because I lost my mother at a young age.

Back then, marrying more than one wife was the norm, how many wives did your father have?

My father had four wives, but only two of them bore children for him. I was raised in a polygamous home.

How was it like growing up in a polygamous family?

I didn’t experience any challenge, I think it was because my mother, who was the first wife, was close to the second wife. Thus, we the children didn’t have any problem relating with ourselves. We behaved as if we all had the same mother and father.

What is your view on men marrying more than one wife?

I don’t like the idea, my children won’t even marry more than one wife, I will not allow it. To be honest, I’m a woman, but I think a man has more problems when he marries a second wife.

As a child, what type of activities did you enjoy?

I used to enjoy singing and dancing. Till today, I still sing and dance especially when I’m in church. I like singing gospel songs.

Was that what you used to win your husband’s heart?

Yes, I’m a good singer. I loved to sing and dance for him; I know this was one attribute he loved in me. I can never get tired of singing and dancing.

When did you meet your husband?

We met in 1952. We courted for two years before getting married. We got married in 1954.

Did you have admirers before you met your husband?

Every lady has admirers, but I knew I had my mind fixed on one man, which was my husband, thus, I didn’t allow myself to get distracted.

What did you love about your husband?

I was attracted to his kind and caring nature. When I first met him, I knew he was the one for me, I didn’t need anyone to tell and we just clicked. It was love at first sight.

What is your view on keeping the matrimonial bed pure before marriage?

I think it is good because it strengthens marriages. I don’t support the idea of a lady getting pregnant for the partner before marriage. I didn’t do it; I waited till my husband married me before getting pregnant for him. He married me as a virgin

How was your marriage?

It was sweet. I had a good marriage, my husband and I understood each other very well. We were compatible. I’m not saying we didn’t encounter challenges; we did, but when we were faced with any of these, we managed to overcome with God’s help.

How did you handle disagreements with your husband?

We used to try to resolve issues before going to bed. And he was someone that was apologetic. I also studied my husband to know his likes and dislikes. I trusted him too. When he committed an offence and then apologised, I believed him. I knew that his yes was yes, and when he said, no, he meant it. We were also both honest with ourselves. The last thing couples should do, is to pretend to themselves. Pretence kills relationships; be open with your partner, let him or her know your strengths and weaknesses.

How long were you married?

We were married for 38 years, my husband died in 1992 and we got married in 1954. His death really affected me; he died after a brief illness. When he died, it was as if a part of me was gone, he left a void in my heart.

Did the decision to remarry ever cross your mind?

Never, I couldn’t have remarried. I was already old and besides I wasn’t looking for anything. I had my children to keep me busy. What more does a woman want in life?

How did you manage without your husband?

It was by God’s grace, it wasn’t easy. I had to rely on the little profit I made from my business. That is what has sustained me till date. There were times things were very tough for me, but I’m thankful to God that I’m alive today, strong and healthy.

How many children do you have?

I have seven children but just five are alive. Two of them died some years ago.

Where are they?

Some of them are here in Lagos while the others are in Abeokuta.

What type of business did you do?

I used to sell garri, rice, majorly dry foods. I started business since I was 10 years old. Then, I used to sell stuffs for my mother. Sometimes; I would be the only one in the shop all day. My mother groomed me to be business-conscious and I’m glad she did.

How much did you use to start your business?

I used N20,000 which I saved over time.

How do you manage simple calculations concerning your business since you did not go to school early?

I may not be well educated but I’m very good in calculations. I don’t know how to use a calculator and I wouldn’t even use it because my brain works faster than a calculator. Even my children can attest to that.

Did you train yourself in that area?

It comes naturally, probably because I started handling money at a young age.

Describe how business was during your days compared to business of today?

In my days, we made profit quickly, I think it is because there wasn’t so much competition. Nowadays, business owners have to wait a while before they can make profit. Things were fast in my days.

Before your husband died, did you support him financially?

Yes I did, because I wanted peace in my home, and I advise women to support their husbands. If you love your husband, supporting him wouldn’t be a challenge for you. I hear people say it isn’t right for women to support their husbands but I feel it isn’t true.

You were married for 38 years, what is the secret?

I loved him and he loved me. We also understood each other. A woman must know her husband in and out. If not, she is in for trouble. They will be having unnecessary arguments

In the early days of your marriage, were you faced with women competing for your husband’s attention?

I didn’t have any problem with that, though my husband had more than one wife. I didn’t let it disturb me. He kept my children and I in a separate flat and that was all that mattered to me. As long as my children had a roof over their head, I was fine. I couldn’t have prevented him from marrying other women.

Why did he marry more than one wife?

He just loved women, maybe that was his weakness.

Will you say you are fulfilled in life?

Yes, I am happy and fulfilled. I have children and grandchildren, which alone makes me happy. I’m also strong and healthy at my age. I have so many reasons to be thankful to God.

Do you still have dreams?

Yes, if God blesses me with money I want to build a house and buy car. I want to enjoy life too, I want to sit at the passenger side and have someone drive me around.

Do you have a favourite car?

Yes, I like Sport Utility Vehicles called Jeeps. When I see people driving the car, I admire them. It’s the car in vogue.

How do you maintain a good health?

I eat god food and drink tea. I also sleep when I want. I don’t stress myself.

How old do you hope to live in life?

It depends on God, I pray to live long. But I wouldn’t want to be a burden to my children. God should determine when He thinks it is time for me to die.

Do you have regrets in life?

Yes and my only regret is when my son died. He was sick, his death affected me emotionally, I was hurt. Till today, I miss him. When I think of him, I cry.

Do you still advise your children and what do you tell them?

I tell them to love themselves; there is no greater commission from God than for us to love ourselves. And when there is no love in a family, there would be hatred, envy and jealousy.

You look fit for your age, do you exercise?

Yes, I like taking long walks. Sometimes, I walk from one bus stop to the next. I do this twice a week. I also watch what I eat.

What is your best food?

Amala and ewedu.

And what is your best drink?

It is malt.

Do you listen to the news?

Yes I do but it is once in a while, when my neighbour puts on his radio.

What do you feel about the activities of the Boko Haram sect?

Whenever I hear about all that they are doing, killing people here and there, I cry silently. I think they are a wicked set of people. I just pray that God will not let them have power over us. One day all this would be over.

How should the government deal with them?

It is only God that can lead the government on how to deal with them in the right way. As the adage goes, everyday for the thief, but one is for the owner. One day, God will intervene. I’m also still sad about the Chibok girls, I pray God brings them back someday.

How do you keep yourself busy?

I don’t have much strength like before, but I try to do little house chores daily. I also have a small business — I sell sachet water and other small items. I don’t like sitting at home idle. I used to be energetic when I was young.

Do you attend parties?

I don’t, not at my age. Though, I know of people of my age who still attend parties, I can’t. I have lost the strength. I stopped attending parties a long time ago.

Do you still have friends?

I don’t have friends outside my home whom I visit. My friends now are my children and my neighbours. They keep me company. I have lost contact with my former friends.

Are you temperamental?

No, I’m calm in nature and I don’t enjoy talking too much not to talk of getting angry. Even when people damage my property or try to hurt me in some ways, I don’t get upset. I inherited this nature from my mother. She was a calm and very loving woman.

What is your advice to young couples?

They should love themselves and learn to forgive. Husbands are bound to upset their wives and vice versa, but when they both learn to forgive, there will be peace in the home.

Do you think there is any problem with a woman being more buoyant financially than her husband?

I don’t think there is any problem with that. If God says it should be that way, who are we to challenge God? However, the woman must still remain submissive to her husband.

Before you die, what do you hope to achieve?

I pray that God gives me the opportunity to visit my family house at Abeokuta, Ogun State. That is my only wish; I want to see everyone for the last time before I’m called home. However, I know I may not be able to travel because of my age.

What do you do every morning when you wake up?

I pray that God keeps all my children. I say this prayer even before I sleep. A woman’s child is her pride and joy. I may not be able to watch over them, but I know God can do it.
http://www.punchng.com/feature/octogenarian/i-will-like-to-buy-a-jeep-before-i-die-82-yr-old-trader/

awww. sweet mother.