On my birthday, an occassion I rarely give a second thought to, my wife decided to give me a rare treat this year. She got a cake designed in the form of a round-neck polo and a bottle of yellow wine for me. She placed them both on a flowery table in our courtyard and called me and my two kids to do the tradition of singing happy birthday and cutting of cake. I stood elegantly with my right hand clutching the knive with the support of my kids and my wife while our maid covered the scene with my handycam. As they sang the happy birthday song to the point where how old are u now is said, I said ok stop. U all want to know how old daddy is, right? They all chorused yes daddy! I said ok. Am 20 years old, very young and hansome still. Mummy has been making faces at me when I come back home a little late at nite; And u, nedadi, u hav been fiddling with my fons and when I say stop u start a cry and scatter things all over again; and u, zibah, u eat up my files anywhere u see them and u lick your shoes! I am going to marry a new wife and make new children cos u are all sturbon and u make daddy sad! I stoped there and observed them all, they all where silent, sober and remorseful as they starred begningly at me without a word. A few munites elapsed before my wife spoke. Am sorry dear, I will change, pls don't marry another wife. I was still thinking of what to say to my wife when my first daughter of close to 3yrs burst into tears and, amidst sobs, she said- daddy I will buy cheese balls and ice cream for U!

*yawns*
who get bb charger cos i dey school for france

Words and their meaning:
______________________
Bobobird - airoplane
anty baby see u - happy birthday to you
Pro coach - cockroach
Mustkillu - mosquito
Jeck - head
Jeg - leg
_________
"Daddy clap for yasef. U are a gud girl k?"

I caught my second dota chewing toilet paper! I grab her still holding d stuff and took her to d balcony where my bulala is kept. " so u are the one dat has been eating my toilet paper in dis house?" I querried her while my maid look on. "Djadji jimi eyon!" She answered me back. I said what? I called my maid, Emilia, what did she say?

She said "dadi leave me alone!"

More words and their meaning:

Go nanny - good morning
Baba bang - rubber band
Add it tea bisi - daddy is busy

I said somthing and my wife laffed seriously till tears ran down her cheeks. My first dota who sat in opposit direction suddenly said "momy why are u crying?" Next thing she walked down were I and d moda sat and behold she started singing: "cry cry baby, are u not ashamed? Leave my dady, leave my dady- go to school!"