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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Poems For Review / Poems from sparkle's table (1350 Views)
Poems From The Heart / Poems That Tell A Story... / Original Love Poems (2) (3) (4)
Poems from sparkle's table by Nobody: 9:17pm On Dec 16, 2014 |
Start. |
Re: Poems from sparkle's table by Nobody: 11:52pm On Dec 16, 2014 |
Registering my presence. Ayamlaykorn |
Re: Poems from sparkle's table by Nobody: 3:39pm On Dec 17, 2014 |
Nawa o. to write poem no easy at all. I've been thinking of what to write since...... It's peaceful and quiet, like in the graves, the sound of waters hush with the waves, I sit still and hold my breath in awe For before me, lies nature's splendour in the raw The dew drops gently on my skin, The wind blows lightly round in a spin A sudden voice calls in a distance, I realise I'm only in a trance. Did I try?? Cc: ayamlaykon, everestdebliu, texanomaly 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Poems from sparkle's table by Nobody: 4:17pm On Dec 17, 2014 |
claps claps claps claps. This is so awesome. The theme, grammatical accuracy. Awesome. Just that, you need to re-punctuate it. Just some things you need to add. You decided not to use a period in your poem at all. Where you'd use a period in prose, do in poetry too. Remember too, that all lines start with a block letter. You missed that in line 2. That's all! I'm looking forward to more 'inkings' in this e-notebook of yours. |
Re: Poems from sparkle's table by Nobody: 4:22pm On Dec 17, 2014 |
Presh, why don't you modify the topic name since you've written a poem in it? Use an attractive name. Ayamlaykorn |
Re: Poems from sparkle's table by Nobody: 6:02pm On Dec 17, 2014 |
8 laykorn: Done. I think I like this one Thanks for the corrections. |
Re: Poems from sparkle's table by EverestdeBliu(m): 7:34pm On Dec 17, 2014 |
preshuzpearl:(Structure,choice of diction,meter and punctuation)...work on this four,and your poem will go beyond the helm. |
Re: Poems from sparkle's table by texanomaly(f): 2:47am On Dec 18, 2014 |
EverestdeBliu: Good evaluation Everest. You are on your way "Sparkles". Good start. Keep it up. You'll be a shining poetry star in no time. 1 Like |
Re: Poems from sparkle's table by Nobody: 6:41am On Dec 18, 2014 |
Nice work Preshuz. 1 Like |
Re: Poems from sparkle's table by dre11(m): 8:49am On Dec 18, 2014 |
Nice poem OP 1 Like |
Re: Poems from sparkle's table by Nobody: 12:55am On Dec 29, 2014 |
Sitting alone in my dorm, Drinking up the sound of storm, Wailing behind the pane of glass, The girls all gone to class, All trying to avoid me. I look out into the dark night, All I did was have one fight, My crime wasn't worse than that. Now I'm tagged a brat. It's not my fault that I'm misunderstood, I blame the law that got me fooled, Being quiet was tagged weird, Now my thoughts and actions are weld. I am resolved, I won't cross the line, And I don't expect anyone to cross mine, But as I look down the window, I realise with a start. It wasn't just a fight, 'Cause the girl I hit is dead Cc: laykorn, texanomaly, dre11, everestdebliu, cisse7575, leki10 and others What'd I miss in this poem?? |
Re: Poems from sparkle's table by texanomaly(f): 1:56am On Dec 29, 2014 |
preshuzpearl:This is a really good poem. Check your punctuation. Is this for real? 1 Like |
Re: Poems from sparkle's table by Nobody: 2:16am On Dec 29, 2014 |
texanomaly: Nooo. Lol. It's 100percent fiction. Btw could you correct the punctuation errors for me? I thought I was careful about that. Tnx |
Re: Poems from sparkle's table by texanomaly(f): 2:35am On Dec 29, 2014 |
There wasn't much to do. Sitting alone in my dorm, Drinking up the sound of a storm, Wailing behind the pane of glass. The girls all gone to class, All trying to avoid me. I look out into the dark night, All I did was have one fight. My crime wasn't worse than that. Now I'm tagged a brat. It's not my fault that I'm misunderstood, I blame the law that got me fooled. Being quiet was tagged weird, Now my thoughts and actions are weld. I am resolved, I won't cross the line, And I don't expect anyone to cross mine, But as I look down the window, I realise with a start. It wasn't just a fight, 'Cause the girl I hit, is dead! |
Re: Poems from sparkle's table by EverestdeBliu(m): 7:54am On Dec 29, 2014 |
preshuzpearl:I see your 'end rhymes', but u missed out in some lines; if u must rhyme,let every line have a feel of it. Nice poem,I give you 7/10. |
Re: Poems from sparkle's table by Nobody: 9:10am On Dec 29, 2014 |
EverestdeBliu: Thanks. I'll work on that |
Re: Poems from sparkle's table by 1miccza: 4:13pm On Dec 29, 2014 |
texanomaly: *whispering*check yo end rhymes and try the rhyme scheme for effect. I am not good ooo |
Re: Poems from sparkle's table by texanomaly(f): 6:30pm On Dec 29, 2014 |
1miccza: Already been said. Here's hoping she was in class last night. All the classes so far have been really helpful, to me as well. @the bolded We both know you could teach me a thing or two. |
Re: Poems from sparkle's table by 1miccza: 6:47pm On Dec 29, 2014 |
texanomaly: *looks to the right and left * who was that again?And who's the she? |
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Book Review - Work With Passion: How To Do What You Love For A Living (3rd Ed.) / I Was Young Once / Show Me The Man Grave
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