This is my assignment thread...

s3nn2x:
This is my assignment thread...

Are you a member?

herald9:

Are you a member?

Are you the class captain

Anyway, I am a student of the Poetry class...

This is my first poem after join the online poetry lesson. I had the intention of pasting my previous works first, but I am using a phone and it is a long process. I just penned this down now. I need you to critique this work.


The enemy within
Here it comes again

What it is

I know not

My never unending companion

Always on time



Why me?

I know not

I feel the weight on my back

A finger in my mouth

Gasping for breath

Hoping my mother wakes up

Always has she been my saving grace

wondering why I am unable to scream the Name

The Name that is supposed to break all yokes



I think my unwanted companion knows

Whenever I try to scream the name

The weight on my back gets heavier

Seems like I am being punished for what I know not

Darkness encompasses my being

Mummy! Mummy! Mummy!

If the Name doesn't work, I am sure she will surely help

But I hear her snore

Why is she sleeping at this time?

Oh no! I feel life oozing out of me

My body is becoming numb

I guess my time is come

Deeds of my never unending past is rushing back at me like a mighty rushing wind



My time is come

The battle ended before it began

Another number, Just another figure

Another bites the dust

A young chap died in his sleep

Peacefully!

Nobody to ask me what I went through

The pains and fears

Screaming with all my strength

Yet no one hears me

Just a silent voice

Waiting for the end to come

Hope I go to a better place


I see a bright light

Rising out of the horizon

Thank God!

Even if I died

At least I did not miss paradise

The light gets brighter

I hear voices

I guess the angels are here to welcome me

The voices gets louder

More louder

Much more louder

Slowly opening my eyes

I see my mother with her band of prayer warriors

I guess she finally came through

I am alive