Some months after you and your partner settles as husband and wife (after so many years of dating), On a faithful and secret revealing day you overheard your partner's phone conversation with a family member about 'someone's' upkeep, you embark on your research and find out the teenager who is seen as 'last born' of their family and who calls your partner anty/uncle (who's issue never came up) is your partner's child.
What will your action be?

somebody call 911,they are so many secrets left.divorce or HighBP

Get a divorce and walk away with half of his money.

Mesilon:

somebody call 911,they are so many secrets left.divorce or HighBP

Dude would you divorce and have half your wealth go to someone of such?

Hmmn . . .  tough one!

Thats betrayal for sure, but before any hasty decisions are made maybe you should ask yourself some questions.

1. Are you so judgemntal that you could not get your partner's trust in the first place. Maybe h/she didnt tell you because he/she knew you'd bail out on them.

2. Do you really want to loose a man/woman you love because of an illegitimate child?

3. Don't you have any 'skeletons' in your own cupboard?

Technically, he/she didnt really lie to you, because the issue never came up. Sometime pople really want to keep somethings to themselves. If he/she is not asking you to take any responsibility of the child, then I don't think you should make a big deal out of it!

Its okay to curse, bone do anything to make him/her feel bad for not trusting you enough, but don't make him/her feel justifieid but your over reaction.

Skeletons in my own cupboard is not necessary at this juncture.





_{she leaves! period}

Ben20001:


Skeletons in my own cupboard is not necessary at this juncture.





_{she leaves! period}

wat if its on ur side?

I will be very upset and demand an answer to why she lied in the first place.

If its someone you really love then you will have to accept the package with it

lets just say there'll be serious trust issues oh. . .

that's a really serious issue but how it goes depends on the depth of love the couples have 4 each other. if the other partner really loves his/her spouse, they should resolve it but the woman/man in question will have to go extra miles to win the trust of the aggrieved back.

mehhn!! dhat iz serious!!

she should have been honest with you from the begining of ur relationship but i understand that she was afraid of losing u if she tells u about her child cos most Nigerian men dont like marrying a woman with a child from another man and cos of this most of our women with child or children try to hide it and let there parents raise the child for them while they move on with life with another man. if you truelly love ur wife i see no reason divorcing her just cos she have a baby and especially if she is not asking you for money or any help to raise her child. there will be trust issue cos of this but its something that can be resolved and u can still have a happy marriage with her,goodluck.

Ujujoan, I have to disagree with you on that one. You said some people like to keep things to themselves? Ok, granted, but things like this shouldnt be kept to yourself. Especially when marriage is involved. I honestly wouldnt think I would be able to get past that, for one, the person didnt trust me enough to tell me whats going on. This just isnt something you should hide from your partner. NO justification for that.

A lot of marriages lead to divorce,when couples hide things from each other,for me i will go on with the marriage but it will take time to trust my spouse,afterall there are cases of some men having kids outside their marriage and the wife won't know after several years.some people are very terrible,we ask God for patience and understanding,becos in marriage don't say it can never happen to me,it will happen and you will only cry yourself to death.

Well if he or she decides to hide it from them self, that means they don't want any thing that will separate the married. The child may be true accident, but to avoid problem they would have review the secret before getting married, to avoid misunderstanding.

My 1st action would be to leave the house for at least a week! I'll go n clear my head of all the white noise of anger n think things thru. After thats done sit down with her n get the full story n agree on how tins would be from onwards. I sure would reprimand her for keeping such a secret but I don't think I'd leave her cos of it.