A friend(wife) relocated to another state after securing a better job. Husband is insisting that she should quit the job and go back to him. They had an agreement for d husband to join the wife when he also get a job. Two years on, no job for the husband in the new state though working in a private firm . what do you advice the wife to do?

Ehmm, does the wife contribute a lot to running the household with the income from her new job? Do they have kids? Who are kids staying with? The answers to these will determine my verdict.

They have 2 kids and she is nt contributing per se. Maybe augmenting d bills at times

Ok. Then she should return home If kids are with dad, she doesnt really cater for family financialy, she is missing out on being a mom and a wife, then what is the use of that separation? If she was the sole bread winner, or contributes at least 50% of the family budget, I will understand why she may need to remain on the job but since that is not the case, she should return and look for a job where her hubby is.
She has to know that having a family involves a lot of sacrifices. For everything she wins, there is something lost. She ahould pick wisely and pick what is best for her and her family.
Its hard sha, but she should try.

If she is with the kids and only hubby is in the other town then he should consider her happiness too. As long as the kids are well cared for, dad can make time to visit lets say every weekend until he finnaly finds a job there. He should not drag her away from her career for his ego sake.
With good planning, they can work things out.

What do you mean Per se ? On normal circumstance; She should be footing most of the bill till hubby secures a better paying job in the new state or either way. Simple.

Well ofcourse . except she wants her pound of flesh to get back at him for her past mistreatment.

Husbands treat your wives well

ahmanim:
A friend(wife) relocated to another state after securing a better job. Husband is insisting that she should quit the job and go back to him. They had an agreement for d husband to join the wife when he also get a job. Two years on, no job for the husband in the new state though working in a private firm . what do you advice the wife to do?

Does it concern me?

i don't see any reason y a married woman shd take out of state job xcpt d hubby has no job himself.she shd relocate bk&get in2 biz wt d little they can manage pendin a gud job

Do you people know what the woman suffered while she was jobless in the hands of the man, sometimes having a job is not all about the money but self esteem comes into play
A woman that has a job or running a business is likely to be more exposed and have common sense than a wife that sit at home and sit and watch Africa majic

Ewuro4:
What do you mean Per se ? On normal circumstance; She should be footing most of the bill till hubby secures a better paying job in the new state or either way. Simple.

Well ofcourse . except she wants her pound of flesh to get back at him for her past mistreatment.

Husbands treat your wives well

If I talk now, they will call me NL submissive wife of the year
I dont understand some marriages, so I better just keep quiet and face front as JK says.

so lemme just agree with your whole post jeje
The man must be a terrible husband otherwise his wife would be paying a lot more bills bearing in mind she is earning more than her struggling husband.

chaircover:


If I talk now, they will call me NL submissive wife of the year
I dont understand some marriages, so I better just keep quiet and face front as JK says.

so lemme just agree with your whole post jeje
The man must be a terrible husband otherwise his wife would be paying a lot more bills bearing in mind she is earning more than her struggling husband.

So you aren't anymore??

Abeg dash me the trophy if you wan de clutter your mantle, I'll gladly take it dancing 'Doo wop' !

Ewuro4:


So you aren't anymore??

Abeg dash me the trophy if you wan de clutter your mantle, I'll gladly take it dancing 'Doo wop' !

Oya gba
I am a feminist now
Mr CC go hear am

The woman should return to her home.
Seperation leads to alott of evil.
On the other hand the man should move to the wife and when he is there, he may have better chances of getting a job. However it all depends on if the woman has the wisdom and common sence to make the family function, when the husband is out of a job.
Two years away from Home is too long.
For me this is not a marriage but a marriage laid on ice.

chaircover:


Oya gba
I am a feminist now
Mr CC go hear am

Mr CC will be like "Kini mo she"

I'm going to bed abeg. Good night sis.

On a serious note, it depends on the dynamics of the marriage and what has happened in the past/happening now.

In an ideal world, since the woman is earning more and the man isnt getting much from his job, and they are both living apart, it makes sense for either the woman to ask for a transfer back home if thats possible, or the man should look at the possibility of moving to his wifes town so they can all live together as a family.

The second option demands a lot of wisdom, toning down of ego, love and respect and not all husbands or wives can deal with the woman feeding the man until the man gets back on his feet.

Sheercover on a roll

whooopie doooooo

This Jaybee is really posh (how many people who are not posh even know there is a word called sheer ) its siacofa. thats the ibadan translation for CC's name.Check the Kini so re advanced dictionary

@OP It's a no brainer that the family should be in the same location as the higher earner (as the higher earners income will most likely buffer the family's cost of living) but in this case the higher earner does not even contribute that much to the family upkeep I think the family is better off together.Its the parties involved that have to look for a compromise.

ahmanim:
A friend(wife) relocated to another state after securing a better job. Husband is insisting that she should quit the job and go back to him. They had an agreement for d husband to join the wife when he also get a job. Two years on, no job for the husband in the new state though working in a private firm . what do you advice the wife to do?

The agreement was husband to wife when he gets a job

What really is the hubby's source of concern now?

The fact she does not contribute to the household as expected OR the fact he cannot secure a job yet?

bukatyne:


The agreement was husband to wife when he gets a job

What really is the hubby's source of concern now?

The fact she does not contribute to the household as expected OR the fact he cannot secure a job yet?

I think hubby is still financing most of the family needs. She is working for her own happiness, not cos family needs her salary.
Since hubby is still the main bread winner, she should relocate and go look for a job where hubby is.
So far, OP did not say the lady was avoiding any form of abuse from hubby by earning her own pay.
I do not know who the kids are with right now, as that will also influence my decision. If they are with mom, I will encourage hubby to let her have her own moment. Let him visit them every weekend. But all in all sha, if all is good and happy at the home front, she should go to where hubby is.

delishpot:


I think hubby is still financing most of the family needs. She is working for her own happiness, not cos family needs her salary.

Since hubby is still the main bread winner, she should relocate and go look for a job where hubby is.
So far, OP did not say the lady was avoiding any form of abuse from hubby by earning her own pay.
I do not know who the kids are with right now, as that will also influence my decision. If they are with mom, I will encourage hubby to let her have her own moment. Let him visit them every weekend. But all in all sha, if all is good and happy at the home front, she should go to where hubby is.

Since her goals is not in line with family's objectives, she should move to where hubby is

bukatyne:


Since her goals is not in line with family's objectives, she should move to where hubby is

Yeah. Me too.

tkz @ all. . the kidz are with d mom

ahmanim:
tkz @ all. . the kidz are with d mom

Hang on!
if the kids are witn the mom how then isnt she paying any bills . . . or does the husband send her money for their upkeep
She may be paying for bills that you are not aware of

yes. she does help the family but the basics still being footed by husband. she said though the husband is presently working in a private firm wtout job security his pay is slightly higher than the wife"s. the wife's job is mote secured

chaircover:


Hang on!
if the kids are witn the mom how then isnt she paying any bills . . . or does the husband send her money for their upkeep
She may be paying for bills that you are not aware of

Again you took words out of my mouth.

No oh, those little alligators only eat air and sand and river water to wash it down.

"Not perse" Yeye men.

ahmanim:
yes. she does help the family but the basics still being footed by husband. she said though the husband is presently working in a private firm wtout job security his pay is slightly higher than the wife"s. the wife's job is mote secured

ohh, so it isn't really about her earning higher and footing most of the bills? They have to reach a compromise, one has to sacrifice. .. I don't subscribe to long distance marriage, gives room for a lota loopholes and temptation. .. Also, Nothing like togetherness in Marriage, makes the bond stronger. .... #my humble submission