Micro mini's and cleavage

The office is not the place to show off legs, or boobs, even if they are your greatest assets. The first rule of fashion is never do cleavage AND short skirts. Either, or, but never at the same time. The same applies to the office party and the workplace. Here, even when worn separately mini skirts and cleavage equal one thing. Even at the party, cleavages, (that's bust and builders) and midriffs are off duty and it might be best to save your short skirt for a night out with the girls. . . .unless of course you are the office tramp.

Flip-flops

Not in summer. Not in winter. Not ever. Not even if they were the very latest Gisele Bundchen, dipped in white gold and given out with the goodie bag at the Atlantis party in Dubai. Flip-flops for business meetings are the definitive office no no. About as welcome as toxic Anthrax crystals found in the in-tray. Why don't women - and men - who insist on showing off gnarled toes, reptilian skin, dodgy toe rings etc realize the entire office can't be expected to concentrate on the latest sales figures with the nightmare-inducing spectacle within smelling distance. Feet are nature's way of saying back off. That goes for whoever is showing theirs off at work.

Slutty Heels

There are high heels and there are slutty heels. Slutty heels are designed for the bedroom and parties not the boardroom but for some reason women get this confused - with disastrous results. Imagine the sort of footwear The Pussycat Dolls might strap on for a night of action. . . . or don't because you can't walk, let alone dance in these. They also have a sort of clickety-clackety coming-to-get-you sound just in case any hot-blooded male within fifty yards of the photo-copier hasn't already spotted them. They won't get you a pay rise and may even fail office health and safety regulations.

Jaunty scarves

If there is one thing worse than matchy matchy corporate suits for women (think Sarah Palin) it's the ‘jaunty' scarves they are often accessorised with. You mostly see these on cheap airline trolley dollys, wannabee freaks on The Apprentice and newsreaders making their last frenzied stab at ‘fashion'. The jaunty scarf (usually smeared with ‘warm beige' make-up) continues to be championed by makeover divas to convince women attempting to break the glass ceiling that this is their most powerful weapon in the workplace. It is so not. The only ‘women' that look feminine wearing jaunty scarves are drag queens.

Fishnet stockings

You wouldn't wear a négligée to the office so why wear overtly sexy hosiery far more suited to a burlesque dancer? A rule of thumb is if it can be bought from Ann Summers it's unlikely to go down well at work.
Dressing in a professional manner - that's if your profession isn't a lap dancer - means showing some respect to your colleagues. It's not what fishnets look like so much as what they suggest that's the problem. They are accessories ‘of the night'. Not the day. Not the office. Imagine trying to explain a pie chart or power point presentation in a pair? You might as well be wearing a lacy bra with tassles on the nipples and a thong. Totally inexcusable. Even if Dita von Teese was in your audience.

Something for the weekend

Something weird happens when you try and take weekend clothes out of the weekend. Everything that is utterly gorgeous about them evaporates in the context of the office. Jeans, leather jacket, gilet, Ugg boots, sweaters and anything resembling a gym/yoga kit is a no no. On a chilly Saturday there's nothing odd about wearing a fleece, or poncho for a walk in the park with friends. Slouching on the sofa on Sunday in sweatpants is cool. Translated to the office your perfect weekend wardrobe suddenly becomes . Enough said.

City shorts

No matter how many times designers put these horrors on the catwalk they fail to catch on in ‘real life'. Here's a clue why. When something looks naff on a tall, elegant, pretty young model with long legs, imagine the same style on a working women twice her age with bigger calf muscles, thighs and actual meat on the bones. When Madonna wore shorts recently. . . . the result was not great. Shorts in a dark colour teamed with opaques and flat brogues and a long tailored jacket might be do-able if you work in fashion or media. Anywhere else, brace yourself for comparisons with Wee Jimmy Krankie.

Bunches, bee-hives and bed hair

Bunches? Are you kidding? Would you take anyone seriously who looked like a schoolgirl? Too much gel, lacquer, colour or scary Danii Minogue-style hair extensions will have the entire office laughing at you. A messy ‘Amy Winehouse' experiment could equally trigger the rumour you've spent the night shagging Kenneth from accounts after the office party.

Folk off

There is a time and place for folk, certainly not the modern workplace, circa 2008. Weird how in a season dominated by sombre black lace and sharp tailoring, the folk revival is in full swing. Wearing a maxi dress, sheepskin gilet, rattling necklaces and tasselled booties with bells on, however will look nothing short of ridiculous in the canteen, office floor or boardroom. If you can't bear to be parted from your inner hippie, a slim, beaded belt or (single) silver bangle is passable. Anything else is not just pants, it's panto.

White trainers with black tights/suits

Even if they are Stella McCartney for Adidas or Nike Air Zoom Rifts or Converse. Trainers worn with black tights are office no no's. Even if you are a fitness freak or training for a marathon, it's not a good look and will get you into trouble for generating static each time you bounce past the water station. Black tights and white trainers? I think not.

Good job girl

iice:

Ahehehehe, lock me up

Lol!

Police on the way. I'm sure you're guilty of the flip flop offense.

Ujujoan:

Good job girl

If u work at a bank or somether equally boring establishment. . .  yes
also wher u are and what kind of work u do counts a great deal

i do disagree with a number of these tho,

1. fishnest stockings do add spice to a boring outfit, say a drab dull skirt suit  some are more slutty than others thob

2.  City shorts r increasingly popular theses days, admittedly not suited for everyone, they r increadibly comfy and can be dressed up or down depending on where u work

3. the scarf, altho not a favorite of mine, believe it or not do add colour and feminity to a working girls uniform. . .  just because women r taking on roles in male dominated environment, doesnt mean we hav to loose our feminity and colour in the name of looking professional (i do find that idea rather sexist). again, some people tend to get to d extreme, but really no one should tell us how to dress dammit!

truth is fashion is evolving and no longer do we havto wear a severly strict, dull boring suit in order to look professional. . .  we don't hav to compromise our feminity in order to gain respect. there is nothing wrong in embracing ur sexuality even at work, i don't mean a show of skin and curves, but by dressing up as d woman that u r. 

seriously if i hav to sit behind a desk all day doing boring work, d least i cld do is look good while doing it. 

I think jaunty scarves look nice on some people depending on the outfit

in NY you see alot of people wearing sneakers with officewear, of course that's until they actually get into the office hence the huge ass bags.

KarmaMod:

I think jaunty scarves look nice on some people depending on the outfit

in NY you see alot of people wearing sneakers with officewear, of course that's until they actually get into the office hence the huge ass bags.

alot of pple do d sneakers on suit thing here too. . . esp those with crazy commutes. . . u dont want to run in and out of d subway in heels

HR.hotness:

alot of people do d sneakers on suit thing here too. . . esp those with crazy commutes. . . u don't want to run in and out of d subway in heels

Seriously. get your heels stuck in those spaces between the rails. lolz

@topic don miss road oh! i  love my fishnets and sneakers  

anyday! anytime! errwhere! 

KarmaMod:

I think jaunty scarves look nice on some people depending on the outfit

in NY you see alot of people wearing sneakers with officewear, of course that's until they actually get into the office hence the huge ass bags.

If you wear sneakers and a business suit within the office building, you are strictly on your own.

mohawkchic:

~Jeez . . . that flip flop needs a recycle bin ASAP!!


~Fashion is forever evolving . . . someone might decide today what is a Fashion crime & Whats Hot/Trendy but in most cases, what is considered to be a "Faux pas" works just great a couple of years later!!

~Some celeb or Fashion designer will put some ridiculous looking outfit together by blending some of the what might be considered a "Faux Pas" & Viola,its a trend!!

I agree with you, fashion evolves. I recently saw an episode of Ugly Betty where the receptionist chick was the wearing city shorts thingie but thats prolly because she works for a fashion magazine. I'm sure you would get a couple of angry gazes wearing those to a bank.

ikamefa:

@topic don miss road oh! i  love my fishnets and sneakers  

anyday! anytime! errwhere! 

Fishnets+sneakers eh?

. . . Slutty Heels,trainers . . . . . .crucify me . . . _{he he he}

i love that flip flop

clemcykul:

i love that flip flop

Of course you do. No be Monrovia you dey?

spikedcylinder:



Fishnets+sneakers eh?

yes oh! especially if am hopping on buses and the train to get to the city! , soon as i get to my destination i can always change back into my heels

_{and if oga is not around for that day ,na sneakers all day}

Leave it to you to pull out flipflops like that. A real work of art.
Guilty,guilty guilty on one count. But I,er, wear whatever the hell I'm in the mood for. I can't stand the black and white emperor penguins look in some offices.

Emperor penguin look.

Tee hee hee.

good job, i agree with u on the 1st one.

i dont work
i go to school instead, even if i were working ill be guilty on atleast 3 counts

bluespice:

i don't work
i go to school instead, even if i were working ill be guilty on atleast 3 counts

In school, almost anything goes.

ur rite on that
which was why i said "even if i were working"